For whatever reason, I scrolled down and remembered we had a comics subforum for 5 minutes. I thought it'd be fun to make another one. The problem is, I can't draw for spit and would probably get too frustrated and bored halfway through the first panel, so you'll have to deal with words instead.
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Obes: sup jerks I'm OB1 and I have an unrelenting obsession with A Brian Falcon and I think it'd be super witty to draw bad sketches of him and make a voice recording of how I bet his stupid dumb nasally voice sounds like lmao amirite Grumbler
Grumbler: SEMNAT LOLOLOL
Falcon: Now OB1 I don't think that's a very appropriate thing to do. It is an irrational thing for a person to see a message board poster and make a comic about them! This troubles me greatly. It reminds me of the seven obscure video games I bought last week because I'm a crazy cat lady but with video games. If you'll consider the narrative prowess of
Obes: omg who cares dude, now here's eight paragraphs splitting hairs about what you just said because my job pays me to stay on TC all day and be a douchebag
Grumbler: Haha you tell'em, OB1! <3
lazyfatbum: hey guys is this where I post porn, anyone see any girls I can creep on, where'd Mapel Girl go
Dark Jaguar: [insert satirical comment here because DJ is un-lampoonable, I got nothing]
Falcon: It's also an important point to note that with regards to Nintendo's relationship with third party Hudson Soft at the time that employees and fanbase were alike dissatisfied with the product that upper management rushed out, so
Bean: You guys I didn't read anything that you said but here's a reply based on what you probably said idk reading is hard, pass the bong, LEGALIZE WEED, one time I was stoned and
Falcon: [insert Charlie Brown trumpet because I haven't yet perfected my Markov Chain of tedious video game trivia, plus Falcon's also kind of unlampoonable, I'm really just spitballing here, wait, okay, I think the Charlie Brown trumpet in the comics kinda looked like] (fill the rest of the dialog bubble with lines)
Dark Jaguar: Glad I didn't get that treatment... *posts youtube video*
lazyfatbum: one time I wrote ideas about action figures and sent them to this company and they stole my ideas >:( Don't get me started on the dozens of scripts I sent out and months later started seeing my plots and characters show up in Hollywood movies. That's why I traveled out there and spent a week sleeping on the floor with 6 other people in a studio apartment and eating peanut butter.
Dark Jaguar: Did you drink the grape juice straight from the bottle?
Bean: GRAPE JUICE AND PEANUT BUTTER, GIMME
Falcon: But then in May of 1999, Nintendo struck a deal with an unlikely partner,
nickdaddyg: hay guiz I lift weights and sometimes I hit myself if I don't do good *
(at the bottom of the panel): * lmao no really he said this once, I wish I knew where the post was, but it was way back in the day
OB1: Guys have you seen my little brother around? I don't want him knowing I'm a douche, please revise history to pretend I wasn't a douche, what if he finds me
Grumbler: You can be Bo Jackson instead lmao this is still funny right?
OB1: LOL!! fuckn' right, kid
Falcon: Guys, are you listening? This is good stuff.
Dark Jaguar: I'm listening. I'm the only one who reads your posts.
OB1: That's because you're the only one who still visits this place except for beanjo and he's functionally retarded
Bean: HAH! But only functionally! I can quit any time I want.
OB1's Little Brother: KONICHIWA, FRIENDS!! That's Japanese for hello ^-^ I was just trawling through random obscure message boards that I found on google-
lazy: GOOGLE has us listed??
OB1's Little Brother: nah fam, I found it in big bro's internet history, holy shit the things I've seen
OB1: Get OUTTA HERE, DEREK! MOOOMMMM!!!
OB1's Little Brother: AH! Hello, big brother! Genki desu ka? ^-^ I sure hope you haven't been up to any monkey business! Mom's gonna get mad and kick you out the basement!
OB1: It's a FINISHED basement, and it's my room, it has my katanas and shut up I HATE YOU, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM GUYS, I DON'T LIVE AT HOME
lazyfatbum: cool, can I have your old room then, I have a lot of crusty old socks, can your mom wash them
OB1's Little Brother: Oh... oh dear! This is very bad posting, OB1! I am very disappointed in you. YOU HAVE DISGRACED THE FAMILY NAME, DISHONORABLE BUFFOON! COMMIT SEPPUKU LIKE A REAL MAN!
Bo Jackson: He's not the real OB1. I am! He stole my name!
OB1's Little Brother: Whoa! Why are you black now, big brother?
Bo Jackson: AND a four sport athlete
Grumbler: And he's SEMNAT LMAOOOOO!!! SODOMY ENSUES!!
Bo Jackson: shut up kid, trying to impress my little brother here, go play in traffic
Grumbler: WAAAHHH!!!
Bo Jackson: Anyway, that other guy was an imposter, he's white while I've always been black, I had vitiligo and Jesus-by-praised it's gone, how you like having a cool big brother now?
OB1's Little Brother: oh thank god, that last guy was a douchebag, glad the foundation sent a new one, Mom was about to go and raise hell
OB1's Mom: YOUNG MAN!!! What have I told you about dressing up in blackface?!
OB1: fuck, the jig is up
OB1's Mom: Don't call them jigs!
Justin Trudeau: Seriously dude, what the fuck
nickdaddyg: Go easy on OB1, maybe he's not really racist, maybe he just thinks Hitler did some good things for Germany and kind of admires him for that
Laser Link: go shit in your hat, kid
Bean: Holy shit, when did you get here?
Laser Link: I didn't. Jesus struck me dead for proselytizing video game enthusiasts across the internet. Apparently it's some obscure sin. They didn't teach that in Sunday School.
lazyfatbum: *bares nipples* ACK-SHULLY, I DID read my bible, unlike you, and after I got done fapping to Genesis I read that eternal damnation is converting your physical body into pure data and shoving it into the internets, where you're doomed to roam all eternity in old, dead Nintendo message boards with the likes of miscreants like us
Bean: god NOOOO IT'S WORSE THAN THE FIERY PITS OF MORDOR
lazyfatbum: shut up kid, this isn't LoTR
Falcon: Now while the PS2 LoTR game, which I bought for $3 because I am insane, has somewhat clunky controls, if you look closely you'll find Easter Eggs from Peter Jackson in the third cavern to the left about 47 paces past the gate of
OB1: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES BRIAN
OB1's Mother: Son! Stop trying to assert your dominance through a message board, god how did I raise such a goober, you take after your Dad
OB1's Little Brother: Yeah, you take after The Dark Prince!
OB1's Mother: And YOU stop being a little sycophant, other son. No one likes a toolbox.
Grumbler: Yeah! Knock that off! Right OB1? We're still cool, right?
OB1: I swear I don't know this guy
Grumbler: WAHHHH
OB1's Mom: Young man, you're coming home and selling those shitty thrift store katanas and moving out
OB1's Little Brother: Can I have his room?
OB1's Mom: 'Soon as the delousing is done
OB1's Little Brother: That's not lice, that's genital scabies! I walked in on him fapping!
Dark Jaguar: ...ew
lazyfatbum: for real, I don't want that room anymore, even if your mom is kinda hot
OB1's Mom pulls him by the ear and leads him into a portal to hell. Brother skips behind.
Grumbler: Can... can I come with you...?
Laser Link: Alright fuckers, I'm off to Nintendojo, then I'm gonna punch god in the face
Falcon: although minute details aside, what most people don't know about Ubisoft is their brief business deal with Acclaim contained a clause in the contract such that their development split between Sony and Nintendo legally compelled them to
Dark Jaguar: Well, he's better than OB1
Bean: What's that voice? Do I have a tumor?
lazyfatbum: no but come over here and suck my dick while I tell you all about my proto-incel thoughts about women, take this one fucking whore on the beach wouldn't give me her number
I didn't want to have to do this, I didn't, but Blizzard made themselves political, so I have no choice.
Activision Blizzard supports oppressive regimes it seems, or at least China.
So.... they can go to hell. I'm done with them. That's it. I may still go back and play their old games from time to time, but well, it's not a hard decision here. I can live without a few games more easily than I can live without freedom.
The very first thought I had when I heard about deep fake was this: "Oh great, now every single time a politician says or does something horrible on camera, everyone is going to cry out "deep fake, it's all just CG!". As evidence, flat earthers literally believe every single photo and video of the earth from space is CG, especially the ones before CG was ever detailed enough to make an image like that.
I'm apparently not alone in that fear. This is a tech we are not ready for, but even if the tech was erased right now, the knowledge that it's possible at all has already done all the damage.
I just got this in. It's an amazing recreation so far, not afraid to alter area layout where it won't impact anything. I haven't gone too far, but a couple very quick observations.
I love the art style, the "toys in a diorama" style of the game is adorable and perfectly captures the look of the sprites in the original. The music is also top notch, they remade every tune faithfully. Yes, this includes the ZELDA cheat in file select. Also, for the first time in the US, they brought in Totakeke's hidden song. There's already one in richard's villa, but if you name your character Totakeke it'll play a distinct one. This one was in the Japanese version but unfortunately got dummied out in the US version (I think it was just overlooked). The map layout is very much the same, though with one big change. There's no more "scrolling in" the new areas when you reach the border. It always was just one big world, and now the game is rendered that way. You can even see some enemies on the beach while standing next to Ulrira's house. The one complaint I'll give is the odd stylistic choice to blur the very top and bottom of the screen. Since it's a 2D overhead game, rather than give some sense of "camera realism", it's actually a big distraction which also gets in the way of seeing certain details if they're on that part of the screen.
A few things to note. First of all, yes all the game references are there. Mr. Wright of Sim City is still in, Luigi the rooster master is still in, the Peach photo is in there, and all the little enemy references are accounted for.
It also looks like the "bikini top to necklace" localization change from the Gameboy game is officially across all regions now. That kind of humor looks like it's just not in keeping with Nintendo's current standards in Japan either.
There's loads more seashells in the game. This enables someone to get the level 2 sword a lot easier, but on the flip side for the completionists, it adds a whole lot of new seashells to find, so it all evens out.
The DX content is also in the game. The added dungeon hints are still present for better or worse, and they've kept the "owl beak" aesthetic for the hint stones in the dungeons. The color dungeon is also still there, which is very welcome! However, the photo album quest was scrapped entirely. Dampe's dungeon fun house has replaced the photo studio. It's a shame they couldn't just leave the old content in, since the photo moments added to both gameplay and "slice of life" moments in the game.
Then there's the controls. Thanks to all the extra buttons on the Switch, the controls are (for the most part) far superior here. The shield, sword, and dash boots all get buttons assigned to them, leaving X and Y as your extra item buttons. A now functions as a context sensitive button allowing you to examine, talk, and pick things up. It's a lot like LTTP in that regard, only with the map assigned to Select to free up an additional button for all those fun item combos. When combined with the lack of "loading areas" on the side of each screen in favor of one big cohesive exploring experience, the game becomes a lot more "playable". It's going to be hard to go back to the Gameboy version after this, frankly. Sorry ABF, you "press L + R to start" once again. However, there's a bigger annoyance for me personally. I had got the impression that this game allowed all-direction running since, well, it's a 3D game and art assets would easily work with that and also it's what they did in Link Between Worlds. However, it's only got 8 direction running. That would be fine I suppose, except I can't use the d-pad to move in the game! So, it's got 8 way direction awkwardly mapped to the analog stick and only the analog stick. It's not a good fit.
I had no idea businesses like the ESA had this notion that they can "do a good deed" with the expectation of "cashing in" the good will down the line for some horrible thing they intend to do. Heck they don't even have anything specific in mind, they just already know in advance they're going to do something evil and like to do good deeds in advance to cover for it.
That's not why you should do good, business. Just- don't be evil.
So yes, Nintendo had a new Nintendo Direct yesterday afternoon. They showed a lot of games... but they are almost all multiplatform ports, mostly of older games, or first-party titles we already knew about but they showed maybe a few new elements of this time. The first-party software shown includes Luigi's Mansion 3 (sorry, I still don't really care about this series), Pokemon (no interest), Animal Crossing (very little interest), Tetris 99 DLC (that looks cool!), the Link's Awakening remake (looking great), and a couple of new ports/remakes of older games -- Xenoblade 1 and Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE are getting Switch ports. It's an okay but, for me, mostly not especially exciting lineup; I know a lot of people are excited for Pokemon and Animal Crossing, but I'm not. The Xenoblade remake looks nice and has better character models, but it's a good looking Wii game, so I doubt I'll be buying, at least not unless the price goes way down eventually; that version's probably fine. And that's about it for first-party software.
The other major component was some new Smash Ultimate DLC announcements -- Terry Bogard from SNK is the next character, they're adding back in the Home Run Contest mode (with a new two player option!), and they have some new paid DLC costumes for the Mii fighter, most interestingly including Goemon. That's pretty neat, the Goemon games are fantastic. (There's also some Undertale character costume, but I don't care about that.)
And finally, SNES games are coming to the Switch, like NES ones, for Nintendo online subscribers. 20 games are going to be there for launch, some expected and some interesting -- Joe & Mac 2, really? Huh. It's cool that there won't be an added fee for this.
Otherwise, the rest of the Direct showed off a lot of ports of older games from other platforms both old and newer-- Overwatch (a good game, and I like that it'll have motion controls, but no way would I start over in progression and unlocking and such, one time is enough!), The Witcher 3, Divinity: Original Sin II, Doom 64 (the only one of these I'm interested in maybe getting), Jedi Outcast (and Jedi Academy is coming too; it's too bad it's these games I have never liked, and not the first two Dark Forces games, which are some of the best FPSes ever made...), Deadly Premonition, etc, etc. Yes, I get it, the Switch is popular but underpowered versus the other consoles, so it's getting a lot of older games and that's okay, but I at least don't get super excited for ports of old games I probably already own on other systems. Oh, one third party exclusive apparently was announced; Deadly Premonition 2 is Switch only and was announced. A lot of people are excited about this, but as someone who has never played a Swery game and has never wanted to, I don't care one bit, I don't think.
So yeah, this direct showed a lot of things and a few were interesting, but for me specifically it was definitely underwhelming. I wasn't expecting anything from it though, so that's fine; hopefully other people like this lineup more. Mario Maker 2 is already out, after all; the Switch has already won my game of the year!
Robin Williams' uncanny energy really comes through in this song. Casting is everything.
The fact that so many theatre kids (current and recovering) break out in this song is a testament to its greatness. ...aw, hell, they also break out into Rent songs, that doesn't mean anything. But this is a great feminist anthem of a girl becoming a woman, and smashing through her socially inculcated pressure to always be kind and agreeable.
I love the sequence where she's simultaneously creating and running up a frozen staircase. Badass!
Picking just one Lion King song is no easy task. This one is the most popular. I kinda prefer its Book of Mormon spoof, though.
There are more, but I won't suck up all the oxygen in the room.
I've bought a lot of battery holders and Maxell brand replacement batteries for this, and have started to replace all my battery backed games with fresh ones, along with battery holders so the next time around it's far easier.
(I picked Maxell because they have a proven track record. Plenty of my NES games STILL hold their saves. That's good enough for me.)
The first step was taking a multimeter and tracing out, on each type of cart, where a good place to set up a secondary battery would be. I lost a few saves in the process, but their sacrifice is not in vain. I'm pretty adept at spotting the patter now, just following the lighter parts of a PCB to the nearest pin and soldering an extra wire onto that. (I clip off the legs of a resistor for these, since they're nice and still and won't move around on their own.) I actually have just left the legs on. I then stick a spare battery in a spare battery holder and alligator clip the legs of that holder to my "spare" pins. It's important to do this in parallel, not serial. Once that's done, I desolder the existing battery. It's taken a lot of practice but I'm getting pretty good at this part now, and can get the old battery out pretty quick. The new one is a little tricky. The slimmer "negative" pin isn't quite slim enough, so I have to clip it down a little, but then it fits fine. Add a little flux, and the solder flows in and grips it very well. Once the holder's in place, I slip in a fresh battery and finally unclip the emergency battery. Seal it up, and it's ready to test. I lost two big saves at first, but now I know just where I went wrong and am avoiding those errors going forward. I've got battery holders in Link to the Past and Ocarina of Time now along with the same classic saves I've had for years.
Gameboy games are going to be tricky. So so small...
This game is pretty diesel. Pretty sure I never posted about it here. But it has a cool Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibe, including an over-the-top dinner scene (even more over-the-top than in the 1970s film). You're back in a mansion, but this one is much cooler than some spooky, opulent museum like we saw in RE2. This one is a trashy plantation that's gone to hell. Floors and walls are littered with trash and various weird kitsch. Bags of trash, cat carriers, weird family photos... the developers did a magnificent job of dropping you into an environment that looks like a trailer home, that has somehow been stretched into multiple floors and buildings.
The game started out with some elements of stealth, where you're hiding from room-to-room while the scary hillbilly man stalks you with a rake. Then at some point, he *smashes through the wall* to come get you. The series continues to inter-splice cinematic thrills in with its game play.
The Old Southern Mansion portion of the game ended, now I'm at a new part where I guess we see the origin of what evil came around and destroyed/mutated the family that lived in the mansion. Now I'm in an abandoned ship. I did not see that coming!