Dear, McDonalds

Recently I took a trip a trip to my local McDonalds to try some of your wonderful McChicken Poppers. I have to say the visit was utterly horrifying! I've never been so scared for my life! The place was filled with poor gangster white thug trash of every caliper.

I have a few suggestions on how you can solve this problems to make future visits more enjoyable for other patrons such as myself..

1. Stop making your prices so reasonable! Poor white trash can't afford to pay more for high caliphor food of higher quality. I suggest you take on the StarBucks model of selling and brand name your products to sell at a higher price.
   
2. Remove all hip hop and country music from the store and replace it with NPR 24/7. White trash can't stand NPR, it's like deadly acid to them, poison that must be avoided at all costs.
   
3. Replace the TV's in the lounge with books.. And replace happy meal toys with math problems. Poor white trash won't see the point and abandon McDonald's in favor of monster truck rallies and all night strip clubs. Once we have them all in one place we can bomb the hell out of those buildings.
   
4. Replace all the interior lighting with scented candles and install a fireplace and a sitting couch. Thug nation can't tolerate a pleasant smelling cozy environment, it's to much like bathing to them and is unacceptable.
   
5. Finally, replace all the staff with all warm and caring people, exclusively from the Disney store. Happy cheerful people eat at the very sole of ghetto trash it's like dipping them in acid and will mill make them all run away screaming in horror.
   

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/magazi...anted=1&hp

This is a long article from the NY Times Magazine examining Israel's intentions about whether it wants to attack Iran or not. I think it's an interesting, and good, article, and the issue is certainly one of the major ones of this year -- will Israel attack Iran, will the US help them, and what will happen afterwards? War with Iran seems to be getting more and more likely all the time, which is certainly quite worrying. I mean, Iran's government is horrible, one of the worst, and that government with the bomb is something to be quite worried about... but really, ANOTHER Middle Eastern war? I really, really hope we can come up with a way to avoid this... :(

Here's a direct quite from their latest commercial:
"You could win 1000 tickets! That's like a gazillion tickets!"

So spread the word: 1000 = gazillion! :)

I'm polishing up 5 [yes, FIVE] separate novels for immanent release on Amazon/Kindle publishing services. Things have just gotten to the point where I really want to start getting my name out there, get people to reading what I've written and maybe attract some attention. If not...well...I tried, better luck next time.

The first one I'm starting with is Murder at the End of the World, a little mystery novel with a dash of Lovecraftian dark fantasy for that extra bit of spice. It started life as an experiment, to see if I could craft a self-contained novel that largely takes place in one location and follow one character exclusively. Went with mystery because it was a genre I hadn't tackled before and wanted to test myself. Lovecraftian dark fantasy because, hey, who doesn't like a little of that in their life? It's a bit on the short side at 46k words, but it feels right so I'm not going to try to pad it out just for the sake of numbers.

Hopefully I can get the last few details wrapped up on my final edit and get this out there by the end of this week, maybe early next week. I am excite!

Also, read this, if you want:

http://jonathanagarrett.wordpress.com/

Is awesome.

<img alt="Donkey Kong was able to make it to the top, but then he just threw barrels down the structure." src="http://cdn.brawlinthefamily.keenspot.com/comics/2012-01-16-391-Pushmo.jpg">

Now Pit's gotta deal with it.

http://kotaku.com/5876315/american-box-a...-he-should

Seriously, who do they think this is going to affect? Anyone who won't buy the game because it doesn't look gritty or dark enough isn't going to be impressed just because now the cartoon angel has a scowl.

Half of me wishes they'd just go all out and give it completely different entirely unrepresentative box art like they did for NES games in the 80's. At least then their attempt to make it dark and "cool" would come across as "all in" instead of a pointless gesture. I mean yeah it'd still be stupid, but it would at least be some effort. Maybe something like this:

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/be/Megaman2_box.jpg/250px-Megaman2_box.jpg">

Compared to this:
<img src="http://timewarpgamer.com/images/nes/mega_man2/rockman2_box_jp.jpg">

Today you showed me exercises I can do to make my penis bigger. I typed in three letters! All I'm saying is let me type in a whole word before you jump to such a bold conclusion!

Penis push ups anyone? How about some dildo darts. :)

http://www.opencongress.org/articles/vie...ancel-Vote

It would be very, very good news if they actually stick to this and it doesn't happen, that's for sure...

Given how well he polls against Obama I hope that he doesn't, and the Republicans keep fighting for some time.

And while we're at it, a much less electable nominee might not be too bad, as long as they don't actually win in the end... :)

Following the Republican nomination campaign has been interesting though, seriously. When your most moderate people running are Mormon governors you know you have an extremist field... but despite that Republicans are quite unhappy with their choices. I can kind of see that, but hey, the other people didn't want to run.

The least crazy Republican is clearly Huntsman, but there's no way he wins, he's far too moderate for today's Republican party. Oh, he'll probably do okay today in NH, but in the South he doesn't have a chance.

Is to replace ASCII with combinations of dildos and rubber ducky's..
So for now on the space bar is 2 dildos and a duck. Spread the word!