TC Lives

[Darunia]

*GORON COMMANDANT* (lowers binoculars from a forward Goron artillery post): So... they continue to mock his excellency... even though he's proven that he is seven-foot tall! Ha!

GORON SOLDIER: They are fools. They know not what they do.

G. COMMANDER: Perhaps. But they soon will know something of respect. (Turns to face his waiting aide-de-camp) Send the signal. All units advance.

AIDE: Sir. (nods).

*Within minutes, the full might of the Imperial Goron war machine can be heard rumbling in the distance. Inside Tendo City, the population looks up in terror as droning swarms of Goron fighters and bombers block out the sky. On the horizon, terrifying Goron tanks and artillery are driven into position, followed by tens of thousands of elite Goron troops.*

Weltall: (Submissively urinating) Damn it! Now we're fucked! I knew we took it too far!

Geno: Don't worry! He's only one inch tall! Hahah! We'll step on him!

*Goron barrage opens up; shelling Tendo City into a large, deep crater. There are few survivors. Geno's remnants comprise less than a handful of ashes.*

[Weltall]

Submissive urination? Nigga, please. Tendo City sees more Goron shelling than it does annual snowfall.

[Geno]

*possesses another Geno doll, which subsequently grows to the size of the previous one* Yeah, forgot I could do that, didn't you?

[Darunia]

Submissive urination? Nigga, please. Tendo City sees more Goron shelling than it does annual snowfall.

Truth. In fact, over 85% of the Goron GDP is military expenditures... and some 97.5% of that goes into Tendo City campaigns.

[lazyfatbum]

That's Zelda from the Legend of Zelda, the second picture is Cloud from Final Fantasy 4 through 16. Do you even play video games? I'm so glad I got a PS3 and moved on from stupid fanboys who dont even know their shit.

[Geno]

I just got put in my place. :(

brb, gonna go kill myself now

[Darunia]

GENO, NO!




Let me do it.

[Geno]

GENO, NO!




Let me do it.

You know, just for making me laugh, I will let you do the honors!

[Darunia]

Aww... now I can't.

Rumbler, you do it.

[Weltall]

*does it*

[Geno]

No, not you! *dies*

Wait, how did you kill me anyway?

Some guy from offscreen: You can't talk! You're dead!

Oh, right. *dies again*

[lazyfatbum]

Its the mass suicide thread! I'll get the kool-aid!

*dies*

OH YEEEAAAHH!!!!!!!!

[Darunia]

*Goron paramilitary special forces burst into the thread, toting MP-40s*

COLONEL: NOBODY'S COMMITTING SUICIDE HERE!

*Open fire, spray lead everywhere*

[lazyfatbum]

*the bullets drink the kool aid*

*they die*

OH YYYEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

[Darunia]

You're just lucky I happened to be using Super Mario Brothers big meanie-faced bullets, and they were thirsty. Next time, you won't be so lucky.

[Geno]

(Damn it, I can't find anymore Geno dolls to possess! I suppose this will have to do.) *possesses a Ken doll* I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! *jumps onto Darunia's head and yanks on his hair*

[Darunia]

*Exiles possessed Ken doll to Charon.*

No possessed Kenner doll has ever returned from exile on Charon.

So shall it be with you.