Dead Baby Jokes

[Sacred Jellybean]

You know you love 'em. :D

Q: What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A: A baby with a javelin through its throat.

Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
A: So you can pick them up five at a time.

Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown costume!



WHOA! I CLICKED ON SHIGGY TO SUMMON HIM AND HE FROZE ALL THE OTHER SMILEYS!! :S

[Dark Jaguar]

Where did the vomit smily go anyway?

How long did ya stay up coming up with this kind of joke? Let's be glad mothers aren't around or anything.

[Sacred Jellybean]

Even better: I STOLE it!

[Dark Jaguar]

Haha, the idea of stealing a joke like this from someone is indeed funny. My guess is that it's probably from something like Cow and Chicken, since I have no idea what real comedian could get away with it.

[He Who Annoys All]

You sick bastard.

[Fittisize]

Q-What goes snap, crackle, and pop and claws on the door?
A-A baby in a microwave.

[Sacred Jellybean]

Q: How do you fit 10 babies in a shoe box?
A: A blender.

Q: How do you get those babies out?
A: Nachos.

:D

[Dark Jaguar]

Wow... I don't think I'll be coming back here. Just the mental image... We really need the vomit smily back. Until then, this fellow will do.

[EdenMaster]

Dammit, we really need to have that exploding head smiley! This is another instance wheer it would be perfect!

[lazyfatbum]

Hahahaha! :D:D:D:D

Oh man, Dead baby jokes were the best.

10 YEARS AGO. ATLEAST USE NEW DEAD BABY JOKES. SHMUCK.

[Sacred Jellybean]

Fine, we'll do pedophile jokes.

Q: What's lazyfatbum's favorite part of a hockey game?
A: Before first period.

[lazyfatbum]

thank you bean, that was the funniest thing i have heard in a long time

[Sacred Jellybean]

:shake:

[Moiraine]

Those jokes are kinda funny but in a sick way..

[Private Hudson]

Originally posted by Moiraine
Those jokes are kinda funny but in a sick way..

Thanks for the recap, Sherlock.

[Sacred Jellybean]

I always thought they were funny because they were so true... to each and his own, I guess.

[Moiraine]

Originally posted by Private Hudson
Thanks for the recap, Sherlock.

Oh no... You sure told me....

[Private Hudson]

Originally posted by Moiraine
Oh no... You sure told me....

SHERLOCK SHERLOCK SHERLOCK LALALALLALA *makes love to you like a TIGER*

[OB1]

Aw..

You two are so cute together.

[Moiraine]

Originally posted by Private Hudson
SHERLOCK SHERLOCK SHERLOCK LALALALLALA *makes love to you like a TIGER*

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin bout :D *Loves Ph* ^_^

[Lt. Boris Grisjenko]

These jokes are really messed up....
but hey, funny as hell!

:D

~Boris~

[Private Hudson]

Q What's the difference between a dead baby and a shower?
A You can't fuck a shower.

Q What's the difference between a dead baby and a tin can?
A You can't eat a tin can

Q What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies, and a truck load of bowling balls?
A You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork

[Sacred Jellybean]

Q: Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face.

Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.

Q: Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
A: In case of a stillbirth, soup.

[Private Hudson]

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby, and a basketball?

A: A basketball bounces when you slam it into the ground.

[Undertow]

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mustang?

A: I don't have a mustang in my garage.

[Darunia]

Words can ill describe how incredibly fucked up this thread is...

[Sacred Jellybean]

And how incredibly hilarious. :D

Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out it's mouth.

[A Black Falcon]

You really find this "incredibly hilarious"???

[Sacred Jellybean]

<-- Me upon hearing one of these jokes.

[OB1]

You guys have some very, very disturbing obsessions with having sex with dead babies.

[A Black Falcon]

I'd certainly agree with that...

[Fittisize]

That last one was gold, Jellybean.

[EdenMaster]

This thread...was probably better left at the bottom of the barrel. and WHERE IS THAT DAMN EXPLODING HEAD SMILEY???????

<------Shiggy after hearing one of these jokes

[A Black Falcon]

Yeah.

SOMEONE FIND A EXPLODING HEAD!

NOW!

And then add it.

[Darunia]

TAKE NOTE: Jellybean's last joke wasn't technically a "dead baby" joke....on the contrary, it was a "saving a baby" joke, as he asked how to save a baby from choking.

Thank you for your cooperation on this pressing matter.


---Barry.

[EdenMaster]

I FOUDN IT!!!!!!!!!!11

Now someone upload it! We need this critical smiley back!

[Sacred Jellybean]

"Violence against babies" jokes can fall under the same "morbid humor against babies" category, so they belong here, too.

[A Black Falcon]

Yes! Someone upload the smilie now!

[OB1]

Make me!

[CartoonDevil]

And you people say that I'm immature. Be consistent, why don't you.

[A Black Falcon]

Its hyporitical to say that with the sig you've got.

Cool! Exploding head!

[Darunia]

Little yellow head go boom.

[Italian_Pyro]

These are great

[Sacred Jellybean]

Thanks, Fittisize. :D

Q: What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
A: An erection.

Q: What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.

Q: What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a dead puppy.

[Undertow]

[Dark Jaguar]

That's the PUNK who was all like "No way you are as good at Nintendo games as me." from that Wizard movie isn't it? Burn him!

As for these jokes, why did whoever made this thread invent the joke as "dead baby" joke? Surely there was some other kind of joke he could have made up...

[Undertow]

Originally posted by Dark Jaguar
That's the PUNK who was all like "No way you are as good at Nintendo games as me." from that Wizard movie isn't it? Burn him!

Lol. You deserve a cookie for getting the reference.

"U GOT 50000 POINTS IN DWUBBLE DWAGON?!?!?"

[Silent Drone]

:sleep: Y'know, i'd laugh. If these jokes weren't almost 30 years old.
A bit of history. These jokes are actually considered "grosser then gross" as that is the book they were published in.

That having been said, i'll contribute.

Q. Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

A. I'll take my boots off to jump on a trampoline


Q. How many Babies does it take to paint a wall?

A. Depends on how hard you can throw them.


Q. Whats the quickest way to stop a baby from crying?

A. With an axe.


Q. How do you make a dead babt float?

A. A glass of root bear and two scoops of dead baby.


Q. Whats funnier then stapelling a baby to the wall?

A. Ripping it back off again.


Q. Whats grosser then running over a baby?

A. Cleaning your tires afterwards.

Enjoy. :stupid:

[Great Rumbler]

Ah yes, now I remember why I stayed away from this thread.

Q: What's funnier than a dead bady?
A: Putting it in your friends bed while he's sleeping in it.

Totally not that funny, but I'll post it anyway since I don't have anything better to do.

[Silent Drone]

Actually Rumbler, i've never heard that one. It made me laugh