2nd April 2015, 3:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 3rd April 2015, 11:37 PM by Dark Jaguar.)
It's not just you, or me, the entire internet comedy supply now hates April Fool's Day.
It would appear everyone simultaneously decided that this holiday is beyond repair. Well, except for that one side of your family. You know the one. The one that thinks "get 'er done" is an entire joke, all by itself. They're the ones who shoot you with a potato cannon and when you look at them in shock and anger, say "look just admit it, I got ya there, you're just mad because I got ya".
So yes, it's good that this Nintendo direct actually WAS telling the truth. The problem is, I had to instinctively assume they were probably making at least some of it up, and I had no idea which parts they were. Every time they announced something really awesome, instead of feeling really excited about it, I instead started feeling angrier and angrier with every one. Not because I thought they WERE lies, but because I had to entertain the distinct possibility that that ONE thing I thought was totally awesome (Lucas returning to Smash) was in fact just a poorly timed joke at Mother fan's expense. I closed the video really quick just because of how insanely angry every awesome thing was making me, and decided to swear off reading ANY news stories at all until today. Only now can I actually give myself permission to be excited again. This holiday RUINED a bunch of very interesting news stories around the world for me, and for what? I didn't see a single laugh to be had, basically anywhere, that was worth this "web browsing inconvenience".
So yes, the comedians of the world have it about right. It's time to retire the whole danged day. Maybe Strong Bad's got the right idea (even though Homestar Runner itself has been the source of numerous web site pranks going back several years), in that the only pranks worth doing are the ones that physically harm people. And maybe Jon Oliver's right, in that BECAUSE those pranks physically harm people, you're a sociopath for attempting them. Also, "Cracked" or whoever is right, most pranks are just shotgun blasts that have no personal touch. And I'm right, pranks that are aimed at someone at a personal level are basically the things that Hannibal Lecter would do.
It would appear everyone simultaneously decided that this holiday is beyond repair. Well, except for that one side of your family. You know the one. The one that thinks "get 'er done" is an entire joke, all by itself. They're the ones who shoot you with a potato cannon and when you look at them in shock and anger, say "look just admit it, I got ya there, you're just mad because I got ya".
So yes, it's good that this Nintendo direct actually WAS telling the truth. The problem is, I had to instinctively assume they were probably making at least some of it up, and I had no idea which parts they were. Every time they announced something really awesome, instead of feeling really excited about it, I instead started feeling angrier and angrier with every one. Not because I thought they WERE lies, but because I had to entertain the distinct possibility that that ONE thing I thought was totally awesome (Lucas returning to Smash) was in fact just a poorly timed joke at Mother fan's expense. I closed the video really quick just because of how insanely angry every awesome thing was making me, and decided to swear off reading ANY news stories at all until today. Only now can I actually give myself permission to be excited again. This holiday RUINED a bunch of very interesting news stories around the world for me, and for what? I didn't see a single laugh to be had, basically anywhere, that was worth this "web browsing inconvenience".
So yes, the comedians of the world have it about right. It's time to retire the whole danged day. Maybe Strong Bad's got the right idea (even though Homestar Runner itself has been the source of numerous web site pranks going back several years), in that the only pranks worth doing are the ones that physically harm people. And maybe Jon Oliver's right, in that BECAUSE those pranks physically harm people, you're a sociopath for attempting them. Also, "Cracked" or whoever is right, most pranks are just shotgun blasts that have no personal touch. And I'm right, pranks that are aimed at someone at a personal level are basically the things that Hannibal Lecter would do.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)