27th December 2004, 1:19 AM
Okay, reading the bible is NOT fun. Some dude flies in to a golden disk that's piloted by naked women and then a chick randomly turns to salt, some old guy tries to kill his son but kills a farm animal instead, and that somehow teaches him a valuable lesson and then a guy who runs around telling everyone in a small town that they're wrong about everything and then destroyes his government (completely pissing everyone off) and is killed by a much larger and more powerful government who kills him with a torturing device called a crusifix that we all celebrate and wear around our necks... hello!? You dont see anyone wearing little gold electric chairs, do you?
And then the multi-headed dragons with multiple horns who rise from the boiling oceans that eat naked people who are covered in wine and gold for some reason then the sun turns red and everybody dies because we either dont do the right things enough or we do the bad things too much and just to make it interesting, what's considered good and bad changes every 100 years or so so that when we read of good people who lived 400 years ago they sound like devil worshipers and bad people end up sounding like someone we would give a medal! To top it all off we're told that everything that exists took a week to make, so it's not like it's special or anything. Give God another week and he'll make the whole universe again just as good as the last one. Well, good... yeah. Considering that he had to murder and pillage entire cities at once just to prove his point and then ultimately destroy everything he created because we didn't read the fine print on the cosmic contract. I mean COME ON! How on Earth is that fun to read??
And then if it wasn't bad enough, sometime around the creation of Christianity we're told that sex is bad. WHAT THE KRAP??? EVERY SINGLE LIVING THING ON THE PLANET HAS TO DO IT OR ELSE THEY DIE OUT AND ANY ANIMAL THAT HAS THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO THINK BEYOND MERE SURVIVAL INSTINCTS HAS SEX AS A FORM OF SHOWING AFFECTION JUST LIKE WHEN YOUR CAT RUBS IT'S FACE ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND THAT'S ALL CONSIDERED BAD!??! NOW MY CAT IS GOING TO HELL FOR SHOWING PHYSICAL AFFECTION!??! THE FUCK THE HELL THE SHIT! I AM THROWING MY BULLSHIT FLAG SO HARD RIGHT NOW! AND GUESS WHAT?!?! GOD SAYS SEX IS HORRIBLE AND BAD BUT THEN SAYS IF YOU'RE GAY IT'S "REALLY BAD"! WTF, I HATE GAYS BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ACT GAY BUT I COULD GIVE A SHIT HOW THEY FUCK! I MEAN EVEN ANTS FUCK! EVERYBODY FUCKS EXCEPT FROGS AND MOST FISH AND THERE'S NOT A FUCKING THING WRONG WITH FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!!!
The bible... is not fun to read.
Huckelberry Finn, now THAT is fun to read.
And then the multi-headed dragons with multiple horns who rise from the boiling oceans that eat naked people who are covered in wine and gold for some reason then the sun turns red and everybody dies because we either dont do the right things enough or we do the bad things too much and just to make it interesting, what's considered good and bad changes every 100 years or so so that when we read of good people who lived 400 years ago they sound like devil worshipers and bad people end up sounding like someone we would give a medal! To top it all off we're told that everything that exists took a week to make, so it's not like it's special or anything. Give God another week and he'll make the whole universe again just as good as the last one. Well, good... yeah. Considering that he had to murder and pillage entire cities at once just to prove his point and then ultimately destroy everything he created because we didn't read the fine print on the cosmic contract. I mean COME ON! How on Earth is that fun to read??
And then if it wasn't bad enough, sometime around the creation of Christianity we're told that sex is bad. WHAT THE KRAP??? EVERY SINGLE LIVING THING ON THE PLANET HAS TO DO IT OR ELSE THEY DIE OUT AND ANY ANIMAL THAT HAS THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO THINK BEYOND MERE SURVIVAL INSTINCTS HAS SEX AS A FORM OF SHOWING AFFECTION JUST LIKE WHEN YOUR CAT RUBS IT'S FACE ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND THAT'S ALL CONSIDERED BAD!??! NOW MY CAT IS GOING TO HELL FOR SHOWING PHYSICAL AFFECTION!??! THE FUCK THE HELL THE SHIT! I AM THROWING MY BULLSHIT FLAG SO HARD RIGHT NOW! AND GUESS WHAT?!?! GOD SAYS SEX IS HORRIBLE AND BAD BUT THEN SAYS IF YOU'RE GAY IT'S "REALLY BAD"! WTF, I HATE GAYS BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ACT GAY BUT I COULD GIVE A SHIT HOW THEY FUCK! I MEAN EVEN ANTS FUCK! EVERYBODY FUCKS EXCEPT FROGS AND MOST FISH AND THERE'S NOT A FUCKING THING WRONG WITH FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!!!
The bible... is not fun to read.
Huckelberry Finn, now THAT is fun to read.