14th January 2008, 12:16 AM
oh god.
We interrupt this broadcast for an important message from the President of these United States.
Arnold: ma felluw omerikans
*from space, a sigh is heard across the country*
Arnold: Treez ar impotent.Treez ar pepol tu, pepol who kill treez ar not pepol, I haf tu sit at my desk and speak tu yuo, it's made of WOOD, wood comez frum pepol who KILL TREEZ, I WONT TAKE IT AUNYMOR, TU MANY TREEZ HAS DIED, IF ANYONE TU KILL A TREE I WILL USE THIS CHAIN SAUW AND I WILL CUT THEIR GUD DAMN LEGS OFF *starts chainsaw* AUWWAGH AUHGAWAH!!!!!!!!! *cuts through desk* AUGHWU HGAHUWA!!!!!!!
*another chain saw is heard, it slices through the door revealing a deep red light and fog effects as a figure enters swinging a chainsaw above his head*
Buzzsaw: AUGHWAUGH HHUWGWAU!!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold: AUUGHUA RRAAAAAAAAA? UHAGUUW!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold and Buzzsaw: UAAUGWUG AWGHAUWA!!!!!!!!
*Lou Ferigno falls from the ceiling*
Lou Ferigno, Arnold and Buzzsaw: AUGHWAUHGUA!!!!!!!!
*the entire time, Dolf Lundgrin was the camera man*
Dolf: AUGHUWAHG!!!!!!!!!!! *throws pedestal camera B through the window*
Arnold: *points at where window was* AUGHAUWAUA!!!!!!!
*phone rings*
Lou: Hallo?
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Is dis tha President?
Lou: Noh, I get him.
Arnold: Hallo.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: AAUGHWAUGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold: AAUUGHWUAGGHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *points to a picture of a tree, then to where window used to be, then to Dolf*
Dolf: *shrugs* AUWUAGGHA!!!!!!!!
*Sylvester Stallone walks in casually*
Stallone: Aughua?
Buzzsaw: AAAUGHUWAGUA!!!!!!!!! *cuts Stallone in half*
*5 seconds of silence*
Lou: I think he has split personality!
Buzzsaw: He's half the man he used to be!
Dolf: No sense going to pieces!
Arnold: He had to split!
*phone rings*
Arnold: Hallo.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Did ju throw him out of window or cut him in two
Arnold: Secund one.
Jeane Claude Van Dam: horizontul or verticul
Arnold: Horizontul.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: He has split personality!
Arnold: Lou got it.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Damn. Does anyone haf a lightur
Arnold: Do anybody haf a lightur??
Dolf: Ja
Arnold: Ja okay, Dolf has lightur.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Ok, put fone down, light him on fire
Arnold: Dolf?
Jeane-Vlaude Van Dam: Noh, Stallone.
*Arnold puts phone down, walks over to the body, lights Stallone's body on fire then comes back to the phone*
Arnold: Ok. Stallone's body is on fire now.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: He's Half-Baked.
Arnold: That took a lot of wurk.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Ja. :(
Buzzsaw: Way to kill the moment, Claude.
Lou: You should have reached for "pants must be on sale because they half-off".
Arnold: lol...
Dolf: Direct-to-Video Van Dam.
Arnold: He hang up, I think he wuz really upset....
Lou: Aww! this makes me want to eat a whole thing of Hagen Daaz! :crap:
Arnold: hey Are we still recor *blip*
Announcer: --T'S THE GAME; 38 to 37, MY GOD I CAN RETIRE NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE BEST GAME OF FOOTBALL EVER PLAYED, BRETT?
Brett: I cried 3 times and it brought up repressed memories of my father, without a doubt, and what are the odds of Elvis coming out of hiding to perform for our half-time show *AND* the first televised broadcast of a UFO sighting right over our own stadium?
Announcer: I WOULD SELL MY OWN FAMILY TO COLOMBIAN DRUG CARTALS JUST TO KEEP THIS MEMORY.
We interrupt this broadcast for an important message from the President of these United States.
Arnold: ma felluw omerikans
*from space, a sigh is heard across the country*
Arnold: Treez ar impotent.Treez ar pepol tu, pepol who kill treez ar not pepol, I haf tu sit at my desk and speak tu yuo, it's made of WOOD, wood comez frum pepol who KILL TREEZ, I WONT TAKE IT AUNYMOR, TU MANY TREEZ HAS DIED, IF ANYONE TU KILL A TREE I WILL USE THIS CHAIN SAUW AND I WILL CUT THEIR GUD DAMN LEGS OFF *starts chainsaw* AUWWAGH AUHGAWAH!!!!!!!!! *cuts through desk* AUGHWU HGAHUWA!!!!!!!
*another chain saw is heard, it slices through the door revealing a deep red light and fog effects as a figure enters swinging a chainsaw above his head*
Buzzsaw: AUGHWAUGH HHUWGWAU!!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold: AUUGHUA RRAAAAAAAAA? UHAGUUW!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold and Buzzsaw: UAAUGWUG AWGHAUWA!!!!!!!!
*Lou Ferigno falls from the ceiling*
Lou Ferigno, Arnold and Buzzsaw: AUGHWAUHGUA!!!!!!!!
*the entire time, Dolf Lundgrin was the camera man*
Dolf: AUGHUWAHG!!!!!!!!!!! *throws pedestal camera B through the window*
Arnold: *points at where window was* AUGHAUWAUA!!!!!!!
*phone rings*
Lou: Hallo?
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Is dis tha President?
Lou: Noh, I get him.
Arnold: Hallo.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: AAUGHWAUGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arnold: AAUUGHWUAGGHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *points to a picture of a tree, then to where window used to be, then to Dolf*
Dolf: *shrugs* AUWUAGGHA!!!!!!!!
*Sylvester Stallone walks in casually*
Stallone: Aughua?
Buzzsaw: AAAUGHUWAGUA!!!!!!!!! *cuts Stallone in half*
*5 seconds of silence*
Lou: I think he has split personality!
Buzzsaw: He's half the man he used to be!
Dolf: No sense going to pieces!
Arnold: He had to split!
*phone rings*
Arnold: Hallo.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Did ju throw him out of window or cut him in two
Arnold: Secund one.
Jeane Claude Van Dam: horizontul or verticul
Arnold: Horizontul.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: He has split personality!
Arnold: Lou got it.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Damn. Does anyone haf a lightur
Arnold: Do anybody haf a lightur??
Dolf: Ja
Arnold: Ja okay, Dolf has lightur.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Ok, put fone down, light him on fire
Arnold: Dolf?
Jeane-Vlaude Van Dam: Noh, Stallone.
*Arnold puts phone down, walks over to the body, lights Stallone's body on fire then comes back to the phone*
Arnold: Ok. Stallone's body is on fire now.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: He's Half-Baked.
Arnold: That took a lot of wurk.
Jeane-Claude Van Dam: Ja. :(
Buzzsaw: Way to kill the moment, Claude.
Lou: You should have reached for "pants must be on sale because they half-off".
Arnold: lol...
Dolf: Direct-to-Video Van Dam.
Arnold: He hang up, I think he wuz really upset....
Lou: Aww! this makes me want to eat a whole thing of Hagen Daaz! :crap:
Arnold: hey Are we still recor *blip*
Announcer: --T'S THE GAME; 38 to 37, MY GOD I CAN RETIRE NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE BEST GAME OF FOOTBALL EVER PLAYED, BRETT?
Brett: I cried 3 times and it brought up repressed memories of my father, without a doubt, and what are the odds of Elvis coming out of hiding to perform for our half-time show *AND* the first televised broadcast of a UFO sighting right over our own stadium?
Announcer: I WOULD SELL MY OWN FAMILY TO COLOMBIAN DRUG CARTALS JUST TO KEEP THIS MEMORY.