8th March 2005, 9:39 PM
RE: Dearly departed
C/O: Lt. Col. Rockmaster, Goron Imperial Armed Forces, Murder Division
Subject: Comeuppance will been served
Dear soon-to-be-pushing-up-daisies,
Hey, whats up? n2m here---but enough small chat. Anyways, we've marked you for death, and at this very moment, 50 Goron assassins are watching your every move from the motel across the street. While your time has come, and you must be liquidated by order of His Excellency, we Gorons are a fair people, and are not without a heart. Accept this letter as a 1-hour warning: in one hour, you will be dead (and in a very painful way, but I don't want to give away the surprise ending!)... this next hour is a generous gift from His Excellency to you. Be thankful, scum! Please utilise this one hour well, putting your final affairs in order. You might make a final will and testament, but it will hardly matter, as we're to confiscate all your worldy possessions afterwards.
See ya real soon,
Most anxiously yours,
--Lt. Col. Rockman, Goron Imperial Armed Forces, Murder Division
C/O: Lt. Col. Rockmaster, Goron Imperial Armed Forces, Murder Division
Subject: Comeuppance will been served
Dear soon-to-be-pushing-up-daisies,
Hey, whats up? n2m here---but enough small chat. Anyways, we've marked you for death, and at this very moment, 50 Goron assassins are watching your every move from the motel across the street. While your time has come, and you must be liquidated by order of His Excellency, we Gorons are a fair people, and are not without a heart. Accept this letter as a 1-hour warning: in one hour, you will be dead (and in a very painful way, but I don't want to give away the surprise ending!)... this next hour is a generous gift from His Excellency to you. Be thankful, scum! Please utilise this one hour well, putting your final affairs in order. You might make a final will and testament, but it will hardly matter, as we're to confiscate all your worldy possessions afterwards.
See ya real soon,
Most anxiously yours,
--Lt. Col. Rockman, Goron Imperial Armed Forces, Murder Division
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST