7th May 2004, 6:38 PM
The following is a real-life 911 call:
WOMAN: Hello, 911!
OPERATOR: Yes ma'am, this is 911, officer Cromwell here, what's your emergency?
WOMAN: There's a man, in my house! He broke in---he's---he's in my dining room right now! And he's (loud crash in background) he's smashing everything! Oh my god, he's got a gun now! My jewelry, nooo!
OPERATOR: Okay ma'am, calm down. Now we're going to go by the book on this one. What's your name?"
WOMAN: Andrea!! Oh god, please, don't take that!!
OPERATOR: Okay, ma'am, are you there...? Ok, here's what needs to happen. We need you to move to a different neighborhood.
WOMAN:Wha...----what?
OPERATOR: Look, ma'am, that burglar has a right to be whowever he wants to be. You're overreacting. He doesn't hate you or anything, it's just how he is. You need to accept that. You have no right to be upset with him, for wronging you. You have 36 hours to clear out of your house, or there will be a warrant issued for you arrest, is that clear, ma'am?
WOMAN: BUT HE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!
OPERATOR: Ma'am, I'm not going to tell you again. You're overreacting. He's probably just kidding around with you. If you ignore him, it won't bother you so much. Try and look at it from his perspective! Don't be so narrow-minded and quick to action. Maybe he has a family to feed, you insensitive whore!
Sound familiar to anyone?
WOMAN: Hello, 911!
OPERATOR: Yes ma'am, this is 911, officer Cromwell here, what's your emergency?
WOMAN: There's a man, in my house! He broke in---he's---he's in my dining room right now! And he's (loud crash in background) he's smashing everything! Oh my god, he's got a gun now! My jewelry, nooo!
OPERATOR: Okay ma'am, calm down. Now we're going to go by the book on this one. What's your name?"
WOMAN: Andrea!! Oh god, please, don't take that!!
OPERATOR: Okay, ma'am, are you there...? Ok, here's what needs to happen. We need you to move to a different neighborhood.
WOMAN:Wha...----what?
OPERATOR: Look, ma'am, that burglar has a right to be whowever he wants to be. You're overreacting. He doesn't hate you or anything, it's just how he is. You need to accept that. You have no right to be upset with him, for wronging you. You have 36 hours to clear out of your house, or there will be a warrant issued for you arrest, is that clear, ma'am?
WOMAN: BUT HE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!
OPERATOR: Ma'am, I'm not going to tell you again. You're overreacting. He's probably just kidding around with you. If you ignore him, it won't bother you so much. Try and look at it from his perspective! Don't be so narrow-minded and quick to action. Maybe he has a family to feed, you insensitive whore!
Sound familiar to anyone?
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST