23rd January 2006, 9:30 PM
I want to clear a few things up.
First, about OB1:
I made no attempt whatsoever to remove his powers or priveleges until after everything had already come to a head and he decided to leave. It did not happen in the middle of our vast argument, because I held out hope that he'd come to his senses stay. Punishing him then would have been completely anathemic to that goal. He left for many reasons, but my removing his administrative abilities is not one of them. He left because he couldn't find it in his heart to acquiesce to me regarding the reviews board, even though I had given him the benefit of the doubt in similar matters for far longer than most did.
I'm not free of guilt over the situation either. OB1 started the argument, and not for any good reason at all, but I was equally to blame for losing my temper and making a fight out of it. Yet, I know deep down that what transpired that day was very likely inevitable.
That out of the way,
I've been at a crossroads in regards to Tendo City for a long time. Most of it has to do with my lack of dedication. Some of it is purely a lack of ideas: We have a problem, what do we do about it? The answer is that there's no easy answer. There doesn't even seem to be many likely solutions.
My personal life is quite twisted at the present. I know I don't have the time to dedicate to TC as I did in the past. But it's not just that. Videogames in general don't excite me the way they once did. I also have nowhere near the time I used to have to devote to them. Buying a game, even a used game for $20, is a pretty rare thing for me. I have other interests, such as writing, that take more of my time now.
Then, there are you guys, the main reason for years now that I have continued to keep the place going. I promised I would and I have no intention of backing down on that promise. I've kept the bills paid even when my money was tight at times. I did this because I like you guys, dammit. I also did it because I like to feel like I'm making a little difference, that I have a hand in something that others enjoy. And running TC is a cakewalk. It practically governs itself.
Next month it will have been five years since Tendo City became mine. That's a pretty impressive number, even though we've been in a decline ever since. I wish I could say I did more to prevent that, but I didn't. Rumble City flourished in a time when such forums were rare. That's not the case six, seven years later. I don't have the money to give away free games every month, either.
In some ways I wish things were like they were five years ago, when we were fresh and full of cinnamon and coffee, and I had all the time in the world to devote to Tendo City. They were some damn good times. In other ways, almost totally personal, I'm not sad to see those days gone. Back then I was an unhappy guy who escaped into this little community because I made a difference and I fit in. Now, I can't escape anymore. I've changed as a person too much. I've had some highs and some lows. Right now is one of the lows. I'm not a happy man these days, though I'm not here to air my laundry. It has to do with my future and how uncertain it is, for the first time in my life. And, in the midst of trying to figure myself out, TC has definitely taken a back seat.
I do pay for this place and I won't stop until people leave. I very much do not want that to happen. I think we can all do things to help, little things. I don't know of any major, earth-shattering lifesavers, though. It hurts, in a way. TC dying would constitute a failure on my part, and I obviously wouldn't like that, but it's about more than me.
In these last five years, we've all grown up a lot. Many of us were still legally children when it all started, now we're moving through our 20s and into our lives. I know that I can't function in the capacity as a real leader or controller here anymore. I'm content to simply fund the place and enjoy it, and help out in my own small ways. I wonder if there is anyone who is actually interested and capable of actually taking an active role in the operation and advancement of TC?
First, about OB1:
I made no attempt whatsoever to remove his powers or priveleges until after everything had already come to a head and he decided to leave. It did not happen in the middle of our vast argument, because I held out hope that he'd come to his senses stay. Punishing him then would have been completely anathemic to that goal. He left for many reasons, but my removing his administrative abilities is not one of them. He left because he couldn't find it in his heart to acquiesce to me regarding the reviews board, even though I had given him the benefit of the doubt in similar matters for far longer than most did.
I'm not free of guilt over the situation either. OB1 started the argument, and not for any good reason at all, but I was equally to blame for losing my temper and making a fight out of it. Yet, I know deep down that what transpired that day was very likely inevitable.
That out of the way,
I've been at a crossroads in regards to Tendo City for a long time. Most of it has to do with my lack of dedication. Some of it is purely a lack of ideas: We have a problem, what do we do about it? The answer is that there's no easy answer. There doesn't even seem to be many likely solutions.
My personal life is quite twisted at the present. I know I don't have the time to dedicate to TC as I did in the past. But it's not just that. Videogames in general don't excite me the way they once did. I also have nowhere near the time I used to have to devote to them. Buying a game, even a used game for $20, is a pretty rare thing for me. I have other interests, such as writing, that take more of my time now.
Then, there are you guys, the main reason for years now that I have continued to keep the place going. I promised I would and I have no intention of backing down on that promise. I've kept the bills paid even when my money was tight at times. I did this because I like you guys, dammit. I also did it because I like to feel like I'm making a little difference, that I have a hand in something that others enjoy. And running TC is a cakewalk. It practically governs itself.
Next month it will have been five years since Tendo City became mine. That's a pretty impressive number, even though we've been in a decline ever since. I wish I could say I did more to prevent that, but I didn't. Rumble City flourished in a time when such forums were rare. That's not the case six, seven years later. I don't have the money to give away free games every month, either.
In some ways I wish things were like they were five years ago, when we were fresh and full of cinnamon and coffee, and I had all the time in the world to devote to Tendo City. They were some damn good times. In other ways, almost totally personal, I'm not sad to see those days gone. Back then I was an unhappy guy who escaped into this little community because I made a difference and I fit in. Now, I can't escape anymore. I've changed as a person too much. I've had some highs and some lows. Right now is one of the lows. I'm not a happy man these days, though I'm not here to air my laundry. It has to do with my future and how uncertain it is, for the first time in my life. And, in the midst of trying to figure myself out, TC has definitely taken a back seat.
I do pay for this place and I won't stop until people leave. I very much do not want that to happen. I think we can all do things to help, little things. I don't know of any major, earth-shattering lifesavers, though. It hurts, in a way. TC dying would constitute a failure on my part, and I obviously wouldn't like that, but it's about more than me.
In these last five years, we've all grown up a lot. Many of us were still legally children when it all started, now we're moving through our 20s and into our lives. I know that I can't function in the capacity as a real leader or controller here anymore. I'm content to simply fund the place and enjoy it, and help out in my own small ways. I wonder if there is anyone who is actually interested and capable of actually taking an active role in the operation and advancement of TC?
YOU CANNOT HIDE FOREVER
WE STAND AT THE DOOR
WE STAND AT THE DOOR