Quiz: Are YOU an evil alien overlord?

[Dark Jaguar]

From RADAR Magazine, Summer 2005, we learn this interesting data about a massive 343-question interrogation that Scientology victims are asked while clutching the terminals of the famous e-meter – more fully, the “Hubbard electro-psychometer.” This was invented by a chiropractor named Volney Mathison, but was adopted by Scientology. It is simply a Wheatstone Bridge, a circuit that measures changes in electrical resistance between the two hands of the subject holding the terminals. It is, in effect a very crude lie detector which measures “galvanic skin response.” Scientology “auditors” use it to purportedly examine a person's mental state. The reading given on the meter varies according to the pressure of the hands on the terminals, the moisture on the skin, the ambient temperature, and the area of skin contact. When asked sensitive questions, those being “audited” tend to react by tightening up on the terminals, by sweating, or by shifting their grip – all of which cause the meter reading to fluctuate, thus creating the illusion that something important is happening.

Now, since Scientology teaches that billions of years ago octopus-like aliens dumped masses of major intergalactic criminals here on Earth, and that we’ve inherited the souls that were released when the blue squid vaporized these miscreants, it’s obviously wise for the “auditors” to investigate the hidden secrets of their victims to see if they’re inhabited by the bad guys. Here, taken from the internal Church of Scientology document labeled "HCO WW Sec Form 4", are a few of those 343 questions, designed to cause squeezing and sweating and thus give away those secrets. Honestly, dear reader, can you say that you can answer “no” to all of these penetrating inquiries?

http://www.randi.org/jr/200509/090205alley.html#3

1. Have you ever enslaved a population?
2. Have you ever debased a nation's currency?
3. Have you ever killed the wrong person?
4. Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
5. Have you ever been a professional critic?
6. Have you ever wiped out a family?
7. Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
8. Have you consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
9. Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
10. Have you ever made love to a dead body?
11. Have you ever engaged in piracy?
12. Have you ever been a pimp?
13. Have you ever eaten a human body?
14. Have you ever given grits to a juvenile to eat?
15. Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?
16. Have you ever exterminated a species?
17. Have you ever been a professional executioner?
18. Have you given robots a bad name?
19. Have you ever set a booby trap?
20. Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?