The Episode III spoiler-filled reviews and impressions thread

[Private Hudson]

I just felt Anakin coversion was way to fast , Well I guess its just one 2 and half hour movie.I think this should have started since Episode II, Then you can say Anakin and Palps had some more extensive history prior.

Uhh.. it did start in Episode 2. Maybe you need to watch it again. And during key scenes in Episode 2 they even played parts of the Imperial March theme to drive the point home that he is filled with hate and anger and jealousy and attachment, etc. etc.

--Chewbacca saved Yoda. Really. Of all the infinite gajillions of beings in the Star Wars galaxy, is just happens to be Chewbacca. No shit.

Wtf? First of all, Chewbaccca doesn't save Yoda at all. He just happens to make a cameo as one of two surviving wookies. Given that he's one of the last of his species, it shouldn't be so much of a coincidence that he is also the wookie that appears in the later episodes. And given that his entire planet was wiped out in Episode 3, that gives him perfect motivation to join the rebels against the Empire.

--Anakin goes from being horrified about killing Mace Windu to unquestioning Palpatine-goon in... what, 10 seconds? That was easy.

Again, there's another discussion going on about this, but it's not as though this all happens in 10 seconds. His mind has been warped and twisted with hate and anger since Episode 2, and there were any scenes in Episode 3 in which he was just becoming more and more confused.

--Yoda tries once to kill Palpatine, and safely escaping, abdicates? No second try?

He caught him by surprise. The next time Sidious is shown he has guards with him. Would be much harder trying to take on someone of (near) equal power with many other people involved. He probably gives up because he understands that it's better to secure his own life and wait for the right moment to re-emerge.

--The Death Star was begun during the course of Episode III; and is only finished in Episode IV: That's twenty years. Yet the Death Star II is built between episodes V and VI; two years. Hmmm.

This is something I'm not sure on given that I haven't seen the later episodes in a lonmg time, but what if the 2nd Death Star had already been started years earlier.. Besides that, there are many other reasons why they might have wanted to hastily build the second death star.

--General Grievous' gigantic space cruiser can be successfully piloted, even broke in two, and flaming out of control, by one person...?

Well, two people. But I would not call that piloting. All they (might have) achieved was to alter it's trajectory so as to avoid a head on colision and land as safely as possible.

--It didn't take very much convincing for Anakin to turn evil, and try to kill Obi-Wan. And since he only turns evil for Padme, when he sees Padme pleading with him, why doesn't he come to his senses...?

Riiiight... Because by the end of the movie Anakin was perfectly sound of mind.. He wasn't twisted by the dark side, manipulated by Sidious, and what he had done at all.

--Only about three of the six thousand scenes were actually built in the real world; the rest were about as convincingly real as something a kindergartener could've sketched out with a crayon.

Riiiight...

--George Lucas destroyed the awesome, fearful, ominous aura of evil that Palpatine had in Episode VI. In Episode III, he's just a wrinkly-faced acrobat in one scene, and in the other he whines like a fucking girl. He's evil, yes, but... I just can't respect his character anymore.

Destroyed it?? He only enhanced it. Just a wrikly faced acrobat? Riiiight.. Whines like a girl? You mean where he's complaining about being weak when Windu is about to kill him? You know he was just pretending, right? And he was in more than 2 scenes of the movie, btw.. Other scenes also enhance his character. Particularly his manipulation of Anakin, and his speech to the senate.

--Did General Grievous' character serve ANY POINT AT ALL, or is Lucas simply trying to dazzle people with an overly elaborate action figure?

He was a very important plot device. And made for some great visual candy.

--If it took ten seconds of force lightning to permanently scar Palpatine in Episode III, why wasn't Luke permanently scarred on the Second Death Star? And it was HIS OWN goddamn force lightning... why didn't he just stop trying to use it on Mace Windu, seeing how it was being reflected back at himself?

Another very careful move on his behalf to show how 'weak' he was (though he was not weak at all) to manipulate Anakin. Everything he did he had planned perfectly to get Anakin to join him.

--Is the entire galaxy so stupid that its Senatorial delegations didn't even question Palpatine? I mean, he's obviously evil; he sounds evil, and he's ugly... and when he declares the Empire, they only applaud? Poor script x10.

Again, he had very carefully manipulated everything. He had complete control and they trusted everything he said. As far as they were concerned he could not set a foot wrong because he was such a brilliant puppeteer.

--The ending was so confusingly and poorly jumbled together, it... well it just sucked. And they throw in Moff Tarkin too, just to get a rise out of us old school fans. How financially lucrative of Lucas.

I think I know why you were confused. You're an idiot.

--Episode IV took place one one planet, one space station, and one moon. Episode V took place on two planets. Episode VI, two planets. All of these were shot in real environments, here on Earth, so they looked very real. And they had real actors. It was, in essence, "real". Episode III: Six or seven brightly colored, overly stimulating and very fake-looking videogame maps; populated by a galaxy of pixelated denizens.

Uhh... there were a lot of things in the original 3 episodes that looked far more fake than anything in the latest installments.

--Padme just makes up the names Luke and Leia on her deathbed. No backstory there, just... random?

I'm sure she had plenty of time to think about the names during the 9 months of gestation.

--In a galaxy where trans-galactic space travel is a daily routine, there is no way or easing the pain of a mother in childbirth... as we can see, as Padme is in agony. Hmmm.

Something tells me that the birth was unexpected and they didn't exactly have the best facilities available where they were. Given that they weren't exactly in the best hospital of the galaxy.

--Anakin/Darth Vader closely interracts with R2-D2 and he even built C3PO. This is essential to the plots of Episodes I-III. So, why is it that in Episodes IV-VI, he does not even acknowledge them? Wouldn't he at least react to seeing them, after so much of his youth was spent with them?

Uhh.. their memory banks were wiped at the end of Episode 3. This was clearly shown. At least C3PO's was. I doubt whether or not R2-D2 was capable of attachment of any kind.

Edit: Just realised you meant Darth Vader doesn't acknowledge them in any way. I dare say that he is just indifferent to their precense. I don't think he is any longer attached to them.

--Darth Vader is born on an operating table. This whole scene was very reminescent of a Frankenstein theme. In Star Wars, that is nothing short of hysterically dumb. I shuddered as I watch it on the screen. Is he the all-powerful Dark Lord of the Sith, or is he Frankenstein?

How did you think he became Darth Vader? Some weird disease turning his body into metal?? So what, anyone who is operated on on a table is just ripping off Frankenstein??

--It is because of his love for Padme that Anakin succumbs to the Dark Side. After all that he did in the name of that love, when he learns of her death, all he does is throw a fit and scream "no?" That whole scene was spoon-gaggingly lame.

Well, it is not just for the love of Padme, despite what Anakin himself says. It's because of his lust for power. Something he himself admits in the movie. He wants more than what the Jedi's will teach him, even though he knows he shouldn't.