Early Episode III review from Kevin Smith

[Weltall]

Spare me that. You've never told me what his motives are, you both merely assure me that he does have motives, and that this movie will satisfy my desire to know what they are. I'm not ignoring any of the facts, because these facts simply aren't revealed yet. How can I acknowledge what does not exist?

Until I see these motives, I'm going to assume he has none, because the last five movies have failed to reveal any of them, save for what I described above.

I mean really, to say that Palpatine is anywhere near as deep as Hitler, who is probably the essential tortured-childhood villain, is laughable. Palpatine is a like Bowser of Super Mario: Bowser repeatedly kidnaps the Princess and tries to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, for reasons no one has ever bothered to elaborate upon. That's okay, since I don't expect Bowser to have motives. He's just a basic antagonist and no one would ever argue otherwise. Palpatine, however, being the single individual who is practically responsible for everything that happens in Star Wars, has no excuse for being so simplistic in his motivations.

I chalk it up to lousy writing. I could do better in my sleep. I'm sure I already have.