8th May 2004, 12:45 PM
And THAT is a reference to Kids in the Hall!
*Guy with no shoes walks into store*
Cashier (who is speaking in a very helpful and cheerful manner the ENTIRE time): We're closed!
Guy with no shoes: Hello? I want you to tell me where a shoe store is because I want to look for a pair of shoes and buy 'em and pay out.
Cashier: I'm sorry I'd love to be of assistance to you but I'm afraid I speak no english.
Shoeless: *gets confused* Pardon?
Cashier: Ah, I see by the expression on your face that you are confused by my statement. Perhaps you doubt it's veracity but let me assure you, I speak not a word of english.
Shoeless: Uuuuuhhh what are you talkin' aboot huh?
Cashier: You see, everything that I am saying to you I have learned to speak phonetically. As to the meanings of the individual words or the procumbent rules of syntax I haven't a clue.
Shoeless: Uh... why don't you just sh-shutup and tell me where the shoe store is huh you jerk?
Cashier: Allow me to reitterate I speak no English! Perhaps this will wash the confusion from your face my friend. My apparent fluency is a result of constant repetition. As you can imagine I have been through this speech many times before in fact, I can repeat it for you in any one of seven different languages. Yet oddly enough I have never learned to speak it in my own, which is fine, since over the years I have forgotten how to speak my own language.
Shoeless: Just shhhutup and tell me where the shoe store is huh?
Cashier: Thank you, would you like to fight me now or are you a coward?
Shoeless: *gut punches cashier* .............don't die.
Cashier: I... I don't know what you're saying!
Shoeless: I just wanted to buy a pair of shoes, huh?
Cashier: No abla Espaniol senior!
Shoeless: Just got feet, don't got shoes! *leaves*
Cashier: Nein spraken ze doitch!
*iris out*
*Guy with no shoes walks into store*
Cashier (who is speaking in a very helpful and cheerful manner the ENTIRE time): We're closed!
Guy with no shoes: Hello? I want you to tell me where a shoe store is because I want to look for a pair of shoes and buy 'em and pay out.
Cashier: I'm sorry I'd love to be of assistance to you but I'm afraid I speak no english.
Shoeless: *gets confused* Pardon?
Cashier: Ah, I see by the expression on your face that you are confused by my statement. Perhaps you doubt it's veracity but let me assure you, I speak not a word of english.
Shoeless: Uuuuuhhh what are you talkin' aboot huh?
Cashier: You see, everything that I am saying to you I have learned to speak phonetically. As to the meanings of the individual words or the procumbent rules of syntax I haven't a clue.
Shoeless: Uh... why don't you just sh-shutup and tell me where the shoe store is huh you jerk?
Cashier: Allow me to reitterate I speak no English! Perhaps this will wash the confusion from your face my friend. My apparent fluency is a result of constant repetition. As you can imagine I have been through this speech many times before in fact, I can repeat it for you in any one of seven different languages. Yet oddly enough I have never learned to speak it in my own, which is fine, since over the years I have forgotten how to speak my own language.
Shoeless: Just shhhutup and tell me where the shoe store is huh?
Cashier: Thank you, would you like to fight me now or are you a coward?
Shoeless: *gut punches cashier* .............don't die.
Cashier: I... I don't know what you're saying!
Shoeless: I just wanted to buy a pair of shoes, huh?
Cashier: No abla Espaniol senior!
Shoeless: Just got feet, don't got shoes! *leaves*
Cashier: Nein spraken ze doitch!
*iris out*
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)