29th March 2011, 3:38 AM
A dutch movie about an evil German scientist who staples two hot American girls on to a Japanese guy who take turns shitting in eachother's mouths. This is the best version of Independence Day I have ever seen. But if the fecal erotica doesn't turn you on there are hilarious moments where the scientist recollects his beloved 3dog. How does this shit get made when I'm trying to raise money for my short film projects and I might as well be choking myself on penis every night and end up making more money and probably feeling more accomplished-yunno what? The lazyfatbum escort service is open for business. This movie destroyed my sense of existence.
Good points: boobs.
Bad points: the scenes without boobs.
Thankskilling was a retarded movie that understood it was retarded and that's why its awesome. Human centipede wants to be a serious film, a serious horror movie. You want serious horror? The original Holloween. The original The Fog. Fucking Night of the Lepus is a better horror movie than Human Centipede.
Human Centipede lifts from the Saw films and translates them in to a hypothetical universe where doctors do things for free. You will be more entertained watching ANY of the Saw films while your hands are being lightly coated in boiling oil for 7 hours. Hell watch the new remake of Nightmare on Elm Street while trying to swallow a pine cone, still less painful than watching Human Centipede.
I laughed during scenes that were supposed to be frightening, I cringed during scenes that were supposed to be heart-felt. At the end (spoiler) when one of the hot chicks started to die I couldn't tell what was happening because it looked like the hot chick in front of her was poopin in her mouth. I only knew she was dying after she died but my chubby cheeks laughed anyway at the thought of these people on set trying to stay dramatic and emote while taped together mouth to anus.
Excellent film if you are German. The rest of us need to find more compelling films to waste our time with. Like Thankskilling. Or Monsturd.
Good points: boobs.
Bad points: the scenes without boobs.
Thankskilling was a retarded movie that understood it was retarded and that's why its awesome. Human centipede wants to be a serious film, a serious horror movie. You want serious horror? The original Holloween. The original The Fog. Fucking Night of the Lepus is a better horror movie than Human Centipede.
Human Centipede lifts from the Saw films and translates them in to a hypothetical universe where doctors do things for free. You will be more entertained watching ANY of the Saw films while your hands are being lightly coated in boiling oil for 7 hours. Hell watch the new remake of Nightmare on Elm Street while trying to swallow a pine cone, still less painful than watching Human Centipede.
I laughed during scenes that were supposed to be frightening, I cringed during scenes that were supposed to be heart-felt. At the end (spoiler) when one of the hot chicks started to die I couldn't tell what was happening because it looked like the hot chick in front of her was poopin in her mouth. I only knew she was dying after she died but my chubby cheeks laughed anyway at the thought of these people on set trying to stay dramatic and emote while taped together mouth to anus.
Excellent film if you are German. The rest of us need to find more compelling films to waste our time with. Like Thankskilling. Or Monsturd.