25th June 2006, 2:54 PM
I was going through a bunch of old CDRs yesterday and I found something quiet interesting. It's the earliest draft of my story that I've yet come across. The date on the file is March 29, 2004. It's only seven pages long [prologue and parts of what is now chapter 1 and 2], it uses the original name "The Ruins of the Earth", and it's in third person. The most obvious sign is that is is sloppy, uninteresting, and just plain embarassing to read. In this draft, the prologue is barely one page. In my most recent draft, the prolgue is nearly seven pages. That's the difference that two years makes, I suppose.
Here's the prologue from the earliest draft:
And here's the most recent:
http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1889956
Here's the prologue from the earliest draft:
Quote:With a bright flare the sun burst from behind the Earth, its light pouring out a new day to those on the surface. A large object swung lazily along its orbit around the Earth. The light from the sun finally reached it revealing it to be the orbital space station Titanus 2. It had replaced the first after it had become obsolete at the end of the 24th century. Titanus 2 held within its twin domes the largest human city in the solar system. Larger even than the great cities of Earth. It served as a departure point for Mars and the moons of Jupiter as well as a home to the more than 30 million people that lived there.
It was more than 2 miles from the tip of one dome to the other and the radius of each dome was nearly 8 miles. It was considered to be man’s greatest achievement in engineering. The complex life-support system was controlled by Octarius-D5 a specialized super computer. Octarius was specifically designed to handle almost any errors or glitches that it might encounter, but as all men know no computer is completely safe-no matter how advanced or well protected it may be.
Larsen Ortail was assigned to repair any glitches or malfunctions that Octarius might miss. It was a rare occasion when it did and usually the problem could be eliminated by a few simple keystrokes. So, it was a very boring job. It paid well, and for Larsen that was what really mattered. He glanced at a digital clock on the wall of his office; it was almost midnight down in New York City where he had lived before coming to Titanus. He rolled his chair over to the row of computers that lined one wall. All reports showed that Octarius’s status was in the green. He moved back to his desk.
He leaned back in his chair trying to fight over the sleep that was threatening to overtake him. Octarius will be fine, he thought and then fell asleep. He was awakened by the blinking red light and a slight buzzing sound. He quickly wheeled over to a monitor. It showed that a slight error had been detected but Octarius had failed to correct it. He typed a few lines of code into the keyboard. The red indicator changed back to green. He leaned back in his chair. Same thing, different day, he thought. Suddenly all the indicators began flashing red. Larsen jumped and quickly went to work. Lines of text began appearing on the monitor. He stared at it a few seconds not quite believing what he saw. Then he shook himself and feverishly began punching in lines of code, but nothing changed. He jumped up and ran to the far wall. He smashed the glass covering the emergency shut off switch. He grabbed the switch and shoved it down. Nothing happened. He stared in horror.
Larsen ran to his desk and typed in the evacuation code. He grabbed his coat and ran out into the hall. Outside the station the emergency booster rockets were slowly coming to life after being dormant since the station was first put into orbit. The boosters began firing, pushing it, pushing it straight towards the moon.
And here's the most recent:
http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1889956
Sometimes you get the scorpion.