21st August 2006, 3:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 24th August 2006, 11:08 PM by Dark Jaguar.)
So it seems my friends were, completely out of character, actually WANTING to see this movie, and I was brought along as well. Explained beforehand to me as a movie that was actually intentionally made to be totally terrible but no part of the movie would betray it. Apparently it was a comedy with the joke being how aweful it was and how serious it took itself.
Well, it worked. That was the worst movie I ever liked. Aweful, just aweful. It did everything I don't like action movies for, only exxagerated to a level unprecedented. Inexplicable plot twists, ridiculous plot with science SOUNDING explanations that still get it wrong, dramatic cop buddies only one dies, dramatic tension that isn't all that dramatic but silly, over the top violence where everyone dies in ways that exemplify every over the top death scene you may have seen in an action movie. I was expecting the main man detective to actually have some lord of the rings style dramatic music in the background as he worked his way slowly with one arm in front of him as a wave of wind and snakes tear at his body but he's just like too pumped and has a scowel of determination on him. I also expected some final scene with a mac truck barrelling down on the heros just when they think everything's safe and as they look closer they see that behind the wheel is, the snakes! Neither happened, but hey they could be deleted scenes in the DVD.
This movie was made to be talked about DURING the movie, but unfortunatly my audience was "broken" and didn't say a thing. They need to add a little disclaimer at the start where the main character smashes through one of those "please be silent during the film" messages and says "no, you need to make fun of this movie loudly and talk to strangers next to you about it, that's the whole point!" and then he brings in those two robots that make fun of movies to show the audience how it's done with a simple demonstration.
Well, it worked. That was the worst movie I ever liked. Aweful, just aweful. It did everything I don't like action movies for, only exxagerated to a level unprecedented. Inexplicable plot twists, ridiculous plot with science SOUNDING explanations that still get it wrong, dramatic cop buddies only one dies, dramatic tension that isn't all that dramatic but silly, over the top violence where everyone dies in ways that exemplify every over the top death scene you may have seen in an action movie. I was expecting the main man detective to actually have some lord of the rings style dramatic music in the background as he worked his way slowly with one arm in front of him as a wave of wind and snakes tear at his body but he's just like too pumped and has a scowel of determination on him. I also expected some final scene with a mac truck barrelling down on the heros just when they think everything's safe and as they look closer they see that behind the wheel is, the snakes! Neither happened, but hey they could be deleted scenes in the DVD.
This movie was made to be talked about DURING the movie, but unfortunatly my audience was "broken" and didn't say a thing. They need to add a little disclaimer at the start where the main character smashes through one of those "please be silent during the film" messages and says "no, you need to make fun of this movie loudly and talk to strangers next to you about it, that's the whole point!" and then he brings in those two robots that make fun of movies to show the audience how it's done with a simple demonstration.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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