Then the mystical Italian fairy visits every human being in the world one night, sealing their assholes with industrial strength concrete, thus eliminating the possibility of sodomy, and also causing critical constipation. Several million people arrange for anal sex with jackhammers.
Picks up the academy award that TC was awarded for best origional script for this forum(since everyone who gets one doesn't really deserve it) and knocks Darunia out with it takes control of Canada away from Darunia.
Anyway, each TC story thread seems to have a repeating theme. This one's is obvious... Last time it all had to do with... hmm, I forget... Oh well, next time a new theme will come up *continues valient attempt to keep this particular "theme" exclusive to THIS story and never used again*.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
Michael Jackson turns out to be Wesker in disguise.
Michael Jackson flees Racoon City, and bunks in with Weltall. The two strike of a great friendship, and in fact some people would wonder how much more.
Goron troops annex Argentina.
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
The US government who likes suporting military takeovers of governments in other countries, especially when they were democratically elected recognizes Darunia as the new President of Argentina
Goron 7th Infantry Division (78,000 troops+support)meets army of Robotic Richard Simmons' (160,000) on the field. Goron right wing, under command of Major General Gravel, swings hard and smashes the flank of the robots. The left wing, under Sir Goron Stone, commences a devastating rolling barrage on the countering robot flank. The center, under Emperor Darunia, enacts a bold bayonet charge, inflicting heavy casualties. Robots are routed; losing 49,000 dead. Goron losses are less than one.
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
Secretly An army of lice raids Darunia body as he is distrated with the Richard simmons clones. They make Darunia So itchy he is forced to rip his skin off and reveal his insides.
DLN draws up new plans to defend Canada so that Darunia can't take it over to control the worlds maple syrup suplies and draft all the hockey players into his own evil hockey teams
GORON GENERAL(TO DARUNIA ON RADIO): My Most Excellent Imperious Majesty, we're encountering more resistance at the front lines of Toronto then we'd expected.
DARUNIA: Surely you don't mean that they're fighting back? The Canadians never fight for anything, not even their own independence!
GENERAL: Yes my liege...but they are now...as we speak, legions of hockey players and lumberjacks are advancing towards our front lines, with hockey sticks and axes!
(Explosion outside from gunpoweder-filled hockey pucks raining down)
*Goron 1rst Army (205,000 men, 45,000 cavalry, 428 artillery pieces, under Emperor Darunia) takes up siege positions outside of Québec. Goron 2nd Army (130,000 men, 30,000 cav., 229 artillery pieces, Gen. Granite) surrounds Toronto.*
*Darunia issues ultimatum to Québec: Vous tous doivent quitter de la ville sous la peine de mort!*
*Darunia, realizing this has nothing to do with TC any more, decides to open a new fashion boutique at Ramble City, calling it "Darunia's Fashion Emporium".*
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
Unfortunatly Quebec City was built to withstand a seige and the gates are closed.
Just like when the Americans tried to take Montreal and Quebec there was a horrible winter and the supplie lines were cut and the gorons were forced to eat the leather of their shoes(this poesed a problem as they leathery stuff on their feet was infact skin not shoes)
THe entire goron army dies of starvation because Darunia forgot one thing, troops need food
*Toronto surrenders unconditionally on April 6th. Goron detachment occupies city. Next day, Montreal and Ottawa sue for peace, realizing how great and mighty the Goron War machine is. They beg the US to help, but the US remembers Canada's war committment at Iraq and laughs*
*Canada forced to pay luxurious war indemnity to Goron Empire; annexed Nova Scotia*
---*End Goron-Canadian War*
;) :p
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
Britain and Australia (the might of the Commonwealth) respect the honorable Goron Empire, and after politely asking Darunia to stop picking on Canada, give up.
*Gorons are happy with Nova Scotia; withdraw from Canada. Darunia declares a new enemy of the Goron People; the Rito!*
*Goron Empire declares war on the Rito people from Winde Waker*
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
*note* sadley, the Australian armed forces is actually smaller than the Canadian armed forces, which is really sad*end note*
NATO retaliates against Goron Empire
*NATO receives plastic fruit basket from Darunia; backs down in light of nice gift.*
*Goron 10th Navy sails to Dragon Roost Isle; begins heavy bombardment of said isle. Rito Air Forces scrambled; drops bombs, causing some damage and concern. Goron Mirage jets scrambled in return; frantic air-sea battle wages. 35,000 Goron Marines wade ashore, and are met with heavy opposition at the shores*
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
EdenMaster ships a copy of Civilization II to Darunia so he can see what he is missing. Unfortunately, while going through customs, the gift is mistaken for a bomb.
FRITOS is a brand of chip. The Ritos were those gay bird people in Wind Waker. Troops under my command just conquered their island, though...so don't worry.
----Barry
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
Quote:Originally posted by Darunia FRITOS is a brand of chip. The Ritos were those gay bird people in Wind Waker. Troops under my command just conquered their island, though...so don't worry.
----Barry
I think that was really death mountain, maybe they were evolved Gorons (dinasoars evolved into birds so why not Gorons?) and Darunia actually wiped out his own people
Perhaps those Gorons were the inferior unevolved forms and if they only did some leveling or used the rock stone then they would evolve
oh wait wrong game
