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+--- Thread: The NEW TC Story Thread! (/showthread.php?tid=414)
The NEW TC Story Thread! - EdenMaster - 12th March 2003
Surely you remember this? Someone says a sentence, and the next person continues, and so on and so forth, writing an entire (and probably insane) story. I'll begin...
One day, lazyfatbum found a nuclear weapon, and a bowl of chili, and must make a choice.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 12th March 2003
The choice was made, the cat is BLUE!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 12th March 2003
But it was not a cat, it was Blue, with Steve, playing Blue's Clues with Lazy.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - The Former DMiller - 12th March 2003
Lazy didn't play nice, though, and Steve lost a vital body part.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 12th March 2003
Dmiller found it, made a snide comment about phallic symbols, and sold it on EBay for twelve dollars plus shipping
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Sacred Jellybean - 12th March 2003
Without his bladder, Steve ran about and made interesting sounds. Lazyfatbum lets out a demented cackle and escapes by running through the wall, leaving a crater in the outline of his body, Duke Phillips from The Critic style. On his way to the bisexual bar, he meets Tom Clancy...
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 12th March 2003
Who seems to have been beaten with his own books, though it's less painful than reading them, am I right folks?
The NEW TC Story Thread! - The Former DMiller - 12th March 2003
Dark Jaguar is killed execution style for insulting Tom Clancy, and Lazy then receives a telegram saying he's been drafted to fight in Iraq.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 12th March 2003
Would you kill...THE SIMPSONS?! That's who insulted them first, with the same joke!
You know, being killed execution style HURTS! Regenerating isn't as easy as it looks you know. You are all hungry and stuff afterwards and feel like taking a nap. Well, that's how I feel all the time, but you know...
Bad Joke Police: That's it! You can't tell that old croner and get away with it!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 13th March 2003
Lazy gets shot at on the field because of his resemblance to Saddam Hussein, but they stop when he tells them he's black.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - OB1 - 13th March 2003
...Which lasts for a few good seconds before they realize that he is in fact not black. But then he cries "Oh why oh why do we have to fight? Let's just be friends and call it a night!".
They stare at each other for a few minutes, and then start hugging each other.
Sodomy ensues.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Sacred Jellybean - 13th March 2003
Just as the happy sperm nuzzles lazy's rectum, Stephen Hawking declares war on Canada. Dark Lord Neo weeps for the loss of innocence. Italian Pyro shaves the weasel. Mapel Girl resumes her masturbation with the GameCube controller, as typical.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 13th March 2003
Jean chreitein disables Steven hawkings life support machinery.
Steven hawkings gives Jean the finger , Jean Chreitein throws a fit and chokes steven hawkings to death. Canada is liberated from the forces of maybelieve stories.
The prime ministry last words before his retirement , "I dont know what went wrong back there "!
later on.
Darklord Neo is declared the PM of canada. Later under new government legislation all references to "maple" as in Maple syrup , have been patented thuss nobody can use that word without paying a tax. Also the word Igloo has been also baned from public use as it is a racist remark toward Inuit natives.
First nation sues the canadian goverment for copyright violation for using the word "Igloo" in a law book without there conscent.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Great Rumbler - 13th March 2003
All of a sudden, Canada exploded!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 13th March 2003
Which summons once again the amazing duo of Psy-Rockin' Omeg-Alf, and the Mr T of DOOOOOM (with a gun in his arm now).
The NEW TC Story Thread! - EdenMaster - 13th March 2003
The Mr. T of DOOOOM wonders what he did in a past life to be brought back again and again is a Nintendo Forums story thread, meanwhile, the Psy-Rockin' Omeg-Alf humps nickdaddygs leg, and it's difficult to determine who is enjoying it more.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 13th March 2003
In the exact moment Psy-Rockin' Omeg-Alf squealed with his little boy orgasm, somewhere halfway across the world Darunia sits down to a hearty bowl of cat litter.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Great Rumbler - 13th March 2003
Just a Darunia was about to take a bite of the kitty litter a ninja appeared and totally chopped Darunia's head off!! Then the ninja flipped out and killed the whole town!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Laser Link - 13th March 2003
After the ninja leaves, Darunia uses his theoretical ability of self healing, re-grows his head, and begins to eat. Several crunchy bites later he realizes that this is in fact NOT Grapenuts and tootsie rolls. In anger he declares war on the charred remains of Canada.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 13th March 2003
Then DLN stands on a soapbox and reminds everyon how they are only suposed to write a sentence(or at least a short thing) not multi-paragraph epics.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Laser Link - 13th March 2003
All of a sudden, Dark Lord Neo exploded!!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 13th March 2003
At which point the ninja realizes it never actually cut off Darunia's head, but rather that Darunia just fell down and his head just appeared to be missing, like all gorons, but especially true for a 1 inch tall goron. Then a pirate ninja came along and stole everyone's booty and totally chopped everyone's head off, even though the dude had some awesome eyepatch held in place with a bandana!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - OB1 - 13th March 2003
Then the pirate ninja realizes that it's impossible for him to exist since there's no such thing as a pirate ninja, and reveals himself to be Dark Jaguar and Private Hudson's child!
Sodomy ensues.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 14th March 2003
Since Private Hudson has telekenetic powers, every person on earth wakes up the next morning with a sore anus.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 14th March 2003
Alien amries send telepathic messages to the Tc folks forcing them to litterally pick their own brains out through there noses.
Oh and god ressurects canada!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 14th March 2003
But then God reconsiders, because Dark Lord Neo and ABF (who, while not Canadian, is as close as one can get without actually being one) think He doesn't exist. Therefore He turns Canada into a US state and sinks the French part into the ocean.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 14th March 2003
Americans become so fond of there new state they decide to call themselves all Canadians. God Later destroys france and germany as there cheesey imoral lifestyle corrupts the world.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Great Rumbler - 14th March 2003
Just then, Bin Laden bursts into the U.N. along with a construction worker, an indian, and a cop and they start singing "Macho Man"!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - OB1 - 14th March 2003
Then... then Batman comes in and meets GR.
Sodomy ensues.
...
..
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Great Rumbler - 14th March 2003
Just then GR reveales himself to be OB1! Then Batman reveals himself to be lazyfatbum! Then OB1 reveals himself to Dark Jaguar! Then lazyfatbum reveals himself to be George Clinton P. Funk!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 14th March 2003
later they all realize there brains were picked out by themselves by alien hypnotic sounds.
(above):D
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 14th March 2003
Then the imaginary pirate ninja reveals himself to be McBrundash, the ultimate spy gadget!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Laser Link - 14th March 2003
Then lazyfatbum grabs a mic, flips his hat around backwards, and yells out "Who's that wearing those silly shoes?"
Everyone responds: We are wearing those silly shoes!
*Bush plays wild guitar riff*
lazy: Well I really hate those silly shoes!
Everyone: Well we really like our silly shoes!
*more crazy guitaring*
lazy: Please stop wearing those silly shoes!
Everyone: We won't stop wearing out silly shoes!
*Tony Blair joins in*
lazy: Well I've learned to respect your silly shoes.
Everyone: And respect for you is something we won't lose!
*Bin Ladin starts moshing to the guitar*
Can I, uh, try on a pair of your silly shoes?
OB1: Man, stop talking about those silly shoes.
*the insanity continues*
lazy: You say I'm boring, but I say hardly.
Everyone: Let's get together and have a pizza party!
Dark Jaguar: PEPPERONI!
Matt Thiessen: And it was all just a dream.
Yes, it's too long. Deal with it.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Great Rumbler - 14th March 2003
Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussien announce that they will be starring in the Iraqi comedy movie "Who Shaved My Mustache?"
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 14th March 2003
*Sodomy ensues*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Laser Link - 14th March 2003
Laser Link, being innocent and pure of heart, asks "Who is this Sodomy guy and why does he sue everyone? Is he related to that Hussein guy?"
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Jaguar - 14th March 2003
DJ, wondering the same thing, falls into a vat of jell-o, eats the jell-o, and when done screams "I hate peperoni, sausage pizza for me!".
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 15th March 2003
Dark Lord Neo passed a new law were it is ilegal to put jello on a pizza. Dark Jaguar gets arrested and put in the corner.
No cat nip for you!
:D
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Laser Link - 15th March 2003
Then suddenly, for good measure, Canada exploded again!!!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 15th March 2003
A river of maple syrub pours into laser links home , forever transforming him into captain Canuck!
How does it feel to be a canadian hero now?
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 16th March 2003
Then Quebec secedes from Canada, noting that "that lot is too iffy, if you know what I mean."
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 16th March 2003
Captain canuck Tosses his magic beaver and it circumcised Darunia!
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 16th March 2003
But then Darunia regenerates his manhood. The beaver is tried for espionage and attempted regicide; sentenced to life imprisonment, but in all actuality, the beaver's severed torso turns up floating in the Sein some weeks later.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - alien space marine - 17th March 2003
Darunia is later killed by animal rights activist!:D
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 17th March 2003
...who then regret their act of cruelty on an animal...
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 17th March 2003
*Upon learning that he'd just been insulted by Weltall, Goron has his new secret police (the Gorstoppo) arrest Weltall*
*Weltall is charge in the High Goron Court of Assholes for first degree, premeditated Insulting of His Excellency; is found guilty, and sentenced to die on the rack at dawn*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Dark Lord Neo - 17th March 2003
DLN then dispatches the mounties to capture Darunia, they succede and run him over repeatedly whith their horses
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Weltall - 17th March 2003
But using System Id, and in the process of making jokes about breasts, Weltall annihilates Goron City and escapes.
The NEW TC Story Thread! - Darunia - 17th March 2003
*Gorstoppo arrive at DNL's, toting MP40s*
GORSTOPPO CAPTAIN: Come out of there!
GORSTOPPO CORP: Fool, he speaks Canadian, not English!
GORSTOPPO CAPTAIN: 'Eh, what ya doeen in dare, eh? Why dontcha come on out, aboot, 'eh?
*DNL replies by hurtling maple leafs at the confused Gorstoppo, who in turn raze his house to the ground with him dedans.*
The NEW TC Story Thread! - EdenMaster - 17th March 2003
Sodomy ensues.