I got it now. Nope, didn't get the collector's edition of it, nor did I get the collector's edition of the new 3DS. I tried, I tried and tried so hard, but stock's just too low. That worker's strike at the west coast ports is really hurting stuff like this, and frankly I'm surprised it's not getting treated like a bigger news story. Though, if it's a matter of reporting that or gross violations of basic human rights, yeah, I can see the strike taking a back seat for a bit. (That's not what's happening though, since the news has dedicated a lot of time to the Oscars.)

What's different? Well, Ocarina of Time 3D was pretty much an exact port with some improved visuals. (That may be debatable, as I actually prefer a lot of the original character animations to the newer animations in the 3D version, even if the models do look a lot better.) Aside from a couple of fixed glitches, you can play it just as you did the N64 version. That includes exploits like back flipping from the bomb flower to the top of Dodongo's Cavern to get a piece of heart way earlier than intended. They even put the Master Quest in there, with the only gameplay difference being that they "mirrored" the world (in the same way that the Gamecube and Wii versions of Twilight Princess are mirror images of each other).

Majora's Mask however has had much bigger changes. All in all, they seem to have rethought the game in light of various reviewer complaints about the original. (It's funny, all those same reviewers are gushing about Majora's Mask like it's ALWAYS been a classic and as though they never criticized it. Not that I have a problem with criticism, but memory is a funny thing and it's weird how they remember their opinions of it and how it actually went down.) The graphical updates, by and large, are of the same quality as the OOT remake. I think the updated animations are of a higher quality than that remake though. There's a few cases where the artwork was rather significantly altered in this one. The Gero mask, in particular, is entirely different now. The bosses, I should note, have all had their appearances altered a bit. Before, it wasn't entirely clear what these monsters were, and the seemed to all be demon masks separate from Majora that Majora simply commanded. This time, they seem to have a clear physical connection to Majora, as though they were "grown" from Majora's body, like budding but into totally different forms from the original. It makes the whole sequence near the end where Majora/Skullkid talks about friends all the creepier, because now it appears that Majora answered that call by "creating" friends for him.

There have been some significant gameplay changes as well. The changes are the biggest a remake of a Zelda game has ever received, bigger than either the Advance version of Link to the Past or the GBC version of Link's Awakening (which were, all in all, just additions rather than real changes, mostly). Generally, it controls much the same way the original did and it's still clearly rooted in the N64 code. The controls have been mapped to the 3DS just the same as OOT was, so be prepared to use the touch screen to use certain items. The new 3DS could have used those extra shoulder buttons as item slots, but for some reason didn't bother. It does allow you to use that c-stick for camera controls though. That, in and of itself, is a welcome addition. Most of the time, Z-targeting (never got used to saying "L-targeting") will do just fine, but with Majora's Mask bosses in particular, sometimes it really helps to point the camera to the left or right as you run straight ahead. It's a nice addition. The maps have been rather significantly altered. From the town layout to the dungeons, everything's been tweaked in various ways, ranging from minor to major. There's a number of item locations that were clearly adjusted for convenience factor. The bank owner (the one you can "trick" with your stamp into giving you money that isn't actually your's when you reset the day) has been moved to just below the clock tower, letting you get your cash back out all the faster. Frankly, I'd have just done away with the whole "reset your consumables" factor entirely. If you keep everything else when you launch yourself back in time, why bother emptying my quiver, purse, bomb bag and bottles? At any rate, the process is at least made a bit less onerous now. Oh, the bomber's notebook has been expanded. It was always incredibly useful, but now it's been made more manageable, and the links between different character's quest chains are made much clearer as you go through them. You'll be better equipped to see exactly what you have time to do and what needs to be sacrificed.

Lastly, there's the save system. This got loads of criticism, the biggest complaint in fact. Well, that complaint's been resolved. You can now save without resetting the day. Before, they did add in statue saving to the US version, but it was limited to the places already set aside as "quick travel" points with the song of soaring. It's been vastly expanded. First, it no longer auto-deletes your "quick save" when you continue, it's just plain saving now. Secondly, these save points are everywhere now. You can save pretty much any time you need to with nearly minimal fuss. Yes, once again a Zelda game is using save points. It annoys me, since saving was already mastered with games like Link's Awakening, which let you save the game at any time and returned you right back to the last doorway you entered (which is actually even better than restoring your EXACT condition, since you can never get stuck in an unwinnable situation that way unless the designers overlooked something, like they did in Link's Awakening, Twilight Princess, and Skyward Sword). I'm not sure why Nintendo switched to save points instead of a menu option recently, but I hope they go back soon. At any rate, this system does work pretty well unless you're deep inside a dungeon and need to save and quit right now. Then, you're stuck. You gotta work your way out of that sucker and then find yourself a nearby save point (very few, if any, inside dungeons). The song of time will still take you back though. It won't ask you to save when you reset any more, but it's "close enough" to a "save any time you want" because there's still that save point right next to the clock tower. The backward song of time is made a bit more obvious now as well. With all the streamlining of item locations and the new save system, no one's complained about the limited time ruining play now. There's more than enough time to explore whatever you like, accomplish something, then reset. ABF, there's never been a better time for you to give this game another try. While some of the changes

Note: Veterans of the previous version should be told this ahead of time. I won't really give away any new puzzles, but for this one thing which should save you hours of wasted time. The Giant's Mask in the stone temple has been moved. No, don't bother searching the stone temple for it. Those new to the game already found it on their own way before you did, because you KNEW you needed it for the last boss and weren't going to bother going into that boss room without it. Well, that's the trick you see. The giant's mask is automatically given to you IN the final boss room. There, I just saved you loads of frustration that new players didn't even know they could enjoy. You're WELCOME!

Anyway, with this just about every Zelda game is playable on Nintendo's modern consoles. Of course, the very newest ones (Link Between Worlds and Hyrule Warriors) are on the very newest systems. All of the Gameboy, NES, and SNES Zelda games are emulated (Gameboy on 3DS, SNES on Wii U, and NES on both, though I suppose technically Minish Cap isn't emulated (it's being run as native code in GBA mode), nor can it be bought on the 3DS any more, but it can be bought on the Wii U). Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword (and Link's Crossbow Training) can be shoved into a Wii U and played there just fine (and will eventually be purchasable as digital download Wii games... except for Link's Crossbow Training...). Wind Waker got the HD treatment on the Wii U (although, I must say, rather than looking like an animated cartoon, the cell shading effect has been altered with bloom and other lighting such that everyone looks like a porcelain doll, though it's not a bad look per se, just not the original intent I think). Other than that, there's the DSi Four Swords remake. That was available for a very limited time, then again last year for another very limited time, and now not available at all, anywhere, so that multiplayer focused game is now very hard to play multiplayer with, for lack of others that actually own it. I got lucky, many didn't, and that artificial scarcity* isn't really excusable. Four Swords Adventures, a Gamecube game, is likewise not available on the newest systems yet. I really enjoyed that one, more so than the first Four Swords and would love to see it ported to a current system so I could play it with more people than just my close group of friends. Along those lines, the remake of Link to the Past isn't available outside the GBA, so the additional content isn't available that way either. Maybe they'll put it on the GBA emulator (or eventually start actually selling the GBA games we already know the 3DS is fully capable of playing natively, even if it does disable all the other background online functions until you quit the game, which isn't that much of a sacrifice anyway). However, going the way of most of Nintendo's "virtual console" efforts, it'll be an incomplete experience. That version of Four Swords won't work without multiplayer, and as a result none of the cross-content unlocks in LTTP will even function, including that bonus dungeon. This could be fixed with a "primed" save file with all the Four Swords unlocks already set, but Nintendo doesn't seem to bother with any sort of hacks like that on virtual console games. Case in point: The Oracle games have permanently locked Advance shops, because Nintendo couldn't be bothered to emulate the flag the Oracle games look for to think they are being played on a GBA. Shantae suffers from the same issue. Still, it's getting there.

*I tried looking up the Wikipedia entry for artificial scarcity. I found the page on scarcity, which had a list of "see also" related topics, one of which was "artificial scarcity". I clicked on that, and it reloaded the page on scarcity "Redirected from artificial scarcity". I broke out of that endless "see also" loop by noting that the page on artificial scarcity was extremely hard to acquire, seemingly made so for no discernible reason. Also I closed the tab.

So do I. There really hasn't been a game in that style since Super Mario Sunshine (later Mario games went for a more linear style, less Super Mario 64 and more Super Mario 3D Land, not that that's a bad thing).

Well, some peoples are making Project Ukulele, a spiritual successor to games like Banjo Kazooie. http://www.playtonicgames.com/ Recently, they've even got the peoples behind the musics of the early DKC games (and Tropical Freeze) on board. Color me stokinated, but wow, lots of these "revival" projects afoot lately.

http://www.bettercallsaul.com/

Behold, a web site that is just as sad and outdated as the character in the show it is promoting.

About time, really. Nice to see some alternatives to Europe and Asia.

Yo. Y'all remember that Hannakah song? "Puuuut on your yamachaauuuhhh, heeeeeere coooomes hannakaaaahh". It was sorta popular in the 90s, not really a pop hit but if you knew Adam sandler you probably heard him sing that song at some point. Not as good as Chris Farley Lunch Lady shit, but a cornerstone in the Sandler Legacy.



I actually rather like Sandler. After seeing Funny Guys anyway. But before that, him and his crew made a foray into animation and the Hannakah spirit. It's true! They called it Eight Crazy Nights. What would these goofy potty-mouthed putzes be doing mashing up corny Dreamworks shit with Sandler's impressive blend of crass and terribly bland humor?

A movie where Sandler does the voices and is pretty much 2 hours of him talking to himself. With Rob Schneider narrating.

Rob fucking Schneider.



Yeah, the two have been doing terrible movies since time immemorial (I can't remember past 12, help me doc). They're good friends, sorta like that dorky Paul Blart Mall Cop actor. I think Sandler produces these movies to keep the lights on at his buddy's houses. How the fuck else do you explain Grown Ups and the fact that it had a fucking SEQUEL?! For shame, Chris Rock. You're better than this.



But anyway, this post is about Eight Crazy Nights. One of the most ill-concieved pieces of garbage ever put to film. It's almost bad enough to be a fascinating trainwreck, though probably not worth your time. Actually, why you even reading this? Get out of here.


RT gave this turd 48%?!? You sure you didn't forget a decimal somewhere?

8CN stars an dwarfish, deformed old man who no woman has ever loved, so he cohabitates with his sister as some sort of uncomfortable surrogate.



His name is I-don't-fucking-remember, let's call him Wilbur. He's this relentlessly happy little christmas elf that is also prone to seizures.


Wilbur with Adam's stand-in, don't remember what that douche's name is either

8CN has no problem beating on this guy. There's a scene where a bunch of cruel construction workers negotiate with him to clean out the portapotties. A quarter a toilet, some shit like that. Will society ever learn to respect its most impoverished citizens?! Give him a fucking 20 you cheap assholes and tell him happy holidays.


You got a deal, nice doin' bizness wit' you guys!!

So he's in there and Sandler's stand-in character rushes the portapotty and rams it. It tips and tumbles floor-over-roof down a ditch. Wilber emerges from the stall, steeped in human filth. It drips down his face and he's ready to cry, but before he can properly process this atrocity that has been inflicted upon his person, Sandler offers to help out by hosing him down.



The water quickly freezes, enveloping poor Wilbur into a suspended animation of human feces.

Not to worry, though. Deer save him by melting the ice. They do so, of course, by licking it up. The deer are not shy or bothered with the task of licking a popsicle of human shit, they even grin for the camera, poop bulging out between the cracks in their teeth.

I tried to find an image of it, but I guess the only way would be to order the movie and screencap that scene. And fuck. that. shit.


Instead, have this image. LOL THE DEERS 'R POOPPPIINNGG!!!1

Sandler's Stand-in is an anything-but-sympathetic alcoholic abusive piece of shit. We're meant to feel sorry for him because his parents died which is I guess sad but any sentiment is quickly reversed away by, say, a scene where a random character loses a bet and is forced to eat a jock strap.


Happy Madison even saw fit to copy the Dreamworks Smug ™ facial expression



Sandler does the three voices of the three main characters, the third is of course the sister, whose mewling voice would make you want to throw a brick at the screen if you hadn't run out of them already. There's also some love interest, Sandler's character's offer of hope, because nothing says "I have exorcised the demons of grief and loss" by a two-bit cliched love interest that gives the character's life some structure.


In a moment of clarity, Sandler wrestles away his multiple personalities and turns their faces around. "I AM BETTER THAN THIS!" he bellows to no one, before collapsing into a ball and sobbing

I caught this movie many years ago, I want to say 11 of them, when I was staying at my parents house and sifting through Comcast's On Demand movies. Eight Crazy Nights, that is your fate. $5 bargain bin, or bundled with a bunch of other snooze-fests and to be used as some kind of token prize for whatever tier subscription Comcast wants you to buy.


RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FRIENDS YOU HATE

Fuck you Adam Sandler

BONUS: Through my image searching, I found this

By now I'm sure a lot of you have heard of this. News sites by and large all reported on it as something for those "Let's Players" on youtube. However, there's a whole angle missed, and that's that this applies just as well to reviewers who may need to actually show viewers what they are talking about when they criticize a game.

Frankly, I don't agree with this. Nintendo has come in and said "anyone who uses footage from our games is now an employee, and they can only say certain things about our games". It's true that we're talking about content Nintendo made, in part, but not in entirety. The way the user is playing the game, the specific exact video and sound being shown, is NOT created by Nintendo but by the player using Nintendo's product (aside from cut scenes, of course). To say a reviewer or "let's player" owes Nintendo money for their own recorded playing is no different than Lego demanding money from videos on someone's own Lego projects. Heck, the gameplay is the main thing, and none of these videos are letting viewers actually experience the gameplay for themselves, so how can it be said they come even close to illegally sharing the games?

I think this is a big mistake. Nintendo has built up a lot of good will, but they could lose a big amount of it if they proceed this way.

http://phys.org/news/2015-01-chemists-unboil-eggs.html

Chemists have found a way to un-boil an egg. This might seem familiar to some of you who've played Earthbound. Yes, the Orange Kid was onto something with his research. Also, the "unboil an egg" result is just part of it. The big prize with this protein unfolding enzyme is new angles of attack on cancer. It just goes to show you, Itoi, seemingly "pointless" research could have any number of unexpected dividends later on.

http://pocketmonster.kotaku.com/giving-y...ahernandez

http://consumerist.com/2015/02/03/ups-ha...-delivery/

They're basically just flat out saying that it's too expensive to deliver individual packages to homes, so they're going to start charging more. This may lead to a push by all your favorite online retailers to ship packages to lock boxes located "nearby" where you live. Essentially, the milk man is dead again.

Except, it isn't. We still have USPS, and this is exactly why we need that service. This is exactly what happens when mail delivery is profit driven instead of mandate driven, and it's why the USPS needs to stick around, at least until we get teleportation technology.

This has started to become a problem in my area. Now, I want to be clear. I grew up with a father who rode bikes all the time, such as racing. Outdoorsy fellow in general. Anyway, I'm all for the trend of more adults biking from place to place (even if that's not a realistic possibility for me at the moment). However, the trend around here has been to flagrantly ignore stop signs and just blaze on through. I've had a few situations where I had the right of way, where the crossing street ahead of me had stop signs but not the one I'm on, and someone suddenly cuts across. Stopping in time has been a very close call, and in at least one case the biker looked at me, like I'M the mistaken one. After calming my nerves I went on, but is this really safe? It seems like an invitation for disaster. I try to keep looking, but on at least one of these sorts of roads the surrounding area is full of wooden fences too tall to see over. Any bikes that came blazing there would be impossible to see. I've been forced to slow down significantly around ANY intersection, right of way or not, much to the annoyance of those behind me, because I don't want to take the risk.

The only defense I've heard is about "momentum", that is, they want to keep their forward momentum to "make it across safely". That sounds like nonsense to me. I rode my bike all the time as a kid, and I always stopped. I never had an issue making it across the street from a full-stop, and I was a KID. Here's the issue. If you pull to a stop, then have to work your way back up to speed, drivers will SEE you (assuming you properly looked to make sure the coast was clear before starting across), and they will slow down if you're going slow.

I mean, this is basic physics here. No matter what you think your "rights" are, if no one sees you and they're driving a 2 ton piece of metal at say 35 MPH, they CAN'T stop in time! Agh!