https://www.tendocity.net/ Fri, 15 May 2026 02:42:39 +0000 MyBB https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=5341 Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:51:26 +0000 etoven]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=5341
According to IMDB, the government receives an alien transmission utilizing the SETI radio transceivers containing a DNA sequence listing for alien DNA and instructions to combine it with human DNA. So let me systematically break down all the horribly unbelievably things wrong with the plot of this story.

1. Where the hell did the government get the actual stand of DNA? Because all they received is an blueprint of a strand of DNA not the actual strand. So how the hell are they going to make an alien human hybrid without the actual DNA? It's not set in the future.. There are no replicators, so what the hell did the human 'Sil' combine with? Information? A fucking printout of the actual thing? Right from the get go this makes no since. And if they did have a machine do they really expect me to believe that some aliens DNA would be made of up Deoxyribonucleic acid? And alien DNA would have the same coding for all species in the known universe. The very best they could hope for is that they would replicate this stand of alien DNA using Deoxyribonucleic acid with human coding and the fucking thing would die. Best case...
   
2. Finally, why the hell would we even do this in the first place. It's like someone in Japan sending you an email instructing you to fuck your mother and then kill her. And you do it without question because you respect the intelligence of the Japanese people. It just makes no sense, I'm mean they must have been really fucking board on a Sunday afternoon to even try something like this.
   

The whole movie was clearly a prime example of a hot girl flashing her titties to distract the audience from all the really shitty story telling.]]>
According to IMDB, the government receives an alien transmission utilizing the SETI radio transceivers containing a DNA sequence listing for alien DNA and instructions to combine it with human DNA. So let me systematically break down all the horribly unbelievably things wrong with the plot of this story.

1. Where the hell did the government get the actual stand of DNA? Because all they received is an blueprint of a strand of DNA not the actual strand. So how the hell are they going to make an alien human hybrid without the actual DNA? It's not set in the future.. There are no replicators, so what the hell did the human 'Sil' combine with? Information? A fucking printout of the actual thing? Right from the get go this makes no since. And if they did have a machine do they really expect me to believe that some aliens DNA would be made of up Deoxyribonucleic acid? And alien DNA would have the same coding for all species in the known universe. The very best they could hope for is that they would replicate this stand of alien DNA using Deoxyribonucleic acid with human coding and the fucking thing would die. Best case...
   
2. Finally, why the hell would we even do this in the first place. It's like someone in Japan sending you an email instructing you to fuck your mother and then kill her. And you do it without question because you respect the intelligence of the Japanese people. It just makes no sense, I'm mean they must have been really fucking board on a Sunday afternoon to even try something like this.
   

The whole movie was clearly a prime example of a hot girl flashing her titties to distract the audience from all the really shitty story telling.]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4337 Sun, 22 Apr 2007 21:19:02 +0000 Sacred Jellybean]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4337
Hot Fuzz is a breath of a fresh air, and a great blend of comedy, gore, and British silliness. I highly recommend it, especially if you loved Shaun of the Dead. The only possible gripe I can give is that it was long - about two hours. I was stoned and hungry for munchies, though, so perhaps my impatience was subjective. They showed a trademark of self-referential humor, a wonderful craft of set-ups and many pay-offs, and a few nods to Shaun of the Dead to boot. I plan to own this movie as soon as it's released on DVD, pending personal funds.

Go see this movie. Even if I were sober, I still would have loved it and laughed the entire time.]]>
Hot Fuzz is a breath of a fresh air, and a great blend of comedy, gore, and British silliness. I highly recommend it, especially if you loved Shaun of the Dead. The only possible gripe I can give is that it was long - about two hours. I was stoned and hungry for munchies, though, so perhaps my impatience was subjective. They showed a trademark of self-referential humor, a wonderful craft of set-ups and many pay-offs, and a few nods to Shaun of the Dead to boot. I plan to own this movie as soon as it's released on DVD, pending personal funds.

Go see this movie. Even if I were sober, I still would have loved it and laughed the entire time.]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4276 Sun, 18 Mar 2007 04:51:55 +0000 A Black Falcon]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4276
The movie stars George Clooney, as well as Tobey Macguire and Cate Blanchett. It's odd to see Tobey Macguire here as the pretty slimy character he plays, with how I think of him from the Spiderman... it works, though. The intricate plot of politics, deception, and betrayal as seen by Clooney's war reporter character Jake Geismar are sometimes confusing, but come together in the end to show the truth of the situation. Some background in post-World War II politics and the fate of postwar Germany helps I would think, but isn't necessary. In short, this is a quite good film, and if it's playing somewhere near you, you should consider watching it.]]>
The movie stars George Clooney, as well as Tobey Macguire and Cate Blanchett. It's odd to see Tobey Macguire here as the pretty slimy character he plays, with how I think of him from the Spiderman... it works, though. The intricate plot of politics, deception, and betrayal as seen by Clooney's war reporter character Jake Geismar are sometimes confusing, but come together in the end to show the truth of the situation. Some background in post-World War II politics and the fate of postwar Germany helps I would think, but isn't necessary. In short, this is a quite good film, and if it's playing somewhere near you, you should consider watching it.]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4272 Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:22:23 +0000 A Black Falcon]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4272
This is Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's first movie; they've done books, television shows (the fantastic Nevewhere -- that's amazing too!), graphic novels, etc, but not a film... well, until this, which came out in 2005. The story is by Neil Gaiman and the art and direction by Dave McKean, and they did a really good job (like with all of Neil Gaiman's stuff that I've seen/read). Mirrormask follows some of Gaiman's common themes in that it's about an English (British, that is) person drawn into a fantastic world. In this case, the main setting is a strange dream world, which the main character, Helena, a teenage girl whose family runs a circus enters after her life seems to fall apart when her mother gets sick. The art design and CG work (it was made with the Henson company) is very well done and has a unique style. The plot is pretty good too. The environments and situations along the way are what really makes the film, though, not the story. The one weak point, perhaps, is the ending, but this is a British film, not a Hollywood one, and for a British film, the ending is probably actually pretty happy...

Anyway, while perhaps the basic concept -- person drawn into another world -- is conventional, and something Gaiman has done several times before, such as in Neverwhere or Stardust (which seems to be in production as a movie to be released this year; the book has been out for some time, though, and is good.), but each one of those has its own unique spin. Neverwhere is a much darker, scarier work, while this has a stronger fairy-tale feel and less depression, though there is sadness and difficulty of course.

It's hard to talk about something so focused on the plot without saying anything about that plot, isn't it... the ending does not spoil the good qualities of the plot, though, and I really liked the film. Perhaps Neverwhere was better, but that was six TV episodes, not a 100 minuite movie, so it had more space to work with, and had a different focus as I said... I don't know, Mirrormask is good as well. It is less "adult", but this is not a bad thing; on the contrary, the tone the movie sets works very well. Recommended, if you can find a copy to rent somewhere.]]>
This is Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's first movie; they've done books, television shows (the fantastic Nevewhere -- that's amazing too!), graphic novels, etc, but not a film... well, until this, which came out in 2005. The story is by Neil Gaiman and the art and direction by Dave McKean, and they did a really good job (like with all of Neil Gaiman's stuff that I've seen/read). Mirrormask follows some of Gaiman's common themes in that it's about an English (British, that is) person drawn into a fantastic world. In this case, the main setting is a strange dream world, which the main character, Helena, a teenage girl whose family runs a circus enters after her life seems to fall apart when her mother gets sick. The art design and CG work (it was made with the Henson company) is very well done and has a unique style. The plot is pretty good too. The environments and situations along the way are what really makes the film, though, not the story. The one weak point, perhaps, is the ending, but this is a British film, not a Hollywood one, and for a British film, the ending is probably actually pretty happy...

Anyway, while perhaps the basic concept -- person drawn into another world -- is conventional, and something Gaiman has done several times before, such as in Neverwhere or Stardust (which seems to be in production as a movie to be released this year; the book has been out for some time, though, and is good.), but each one of those has its own unique spin. Neverwhere is a much darker, scarier work, while this has a stronger fairy-tale feel and less depression, though there is sadness and difficulty of course.

It's hard to talk about something so focused on the plot without saying anything about that plot, isn't it... the ending does not spoil the good qualities of the plot, though, and I really liked the film. Perhaps Neverwhere was better, but that was six TV episodes, not a 100 minuite movie, so it had more space to work with, and had a different focus as I said... I don't know, Mirrormask is good as well. It is less "adult", but this is not a bad thing; on the contrary, the tone the movie sets works very well. Recommended, if you can find a copy to rent somewhere.]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4265 Sun, 11 Mar 2007 17:01:08 +0000 Sacred Jellybean]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=4265 Writer/Co-Director: Frank Miller (original comic, Sin City comic, helped direct Sin City movie)

*minor spoilers ahead, but if you already know the outcome of the Battle of Thermopylae, then it's not a big deal*

I saw it in the theater last night. I thought it was predictable at times, and a bit repetitive, but it was still watchable. They used a pet peeve of mine - speeding up and slowing down the film during action sequences. I HATE this trend with all my little black heart, because it's run approximately 300 feet into the ground by this point and less realistic than showing a normal frame-rate (then again, who goes to a movie based on a Frank Miller comic and expects realism?). I can see how that can make the fighting scenes more palatable (i.e. slowing down during the important part, when someone actually gets stabbed and killed), but they went a little crazy with it. It sounded cheesy to play rock music during certain sequences, too. And it was a little irritating when they slowed down the film during parts where nothing was really going on, like following the queen in that one shot without knowing her endeavors. What was the point?

It was still awesome how they showed highlights of a Spartan boy growing up, (though the wolf at the end of the sequence looked poorly rendered). I liked the gore from the fighting scenes, and characters' costumers were lush and beautiful. I wish I would have seen more Spartans die in the first few battles (it seemed like little, if any, did) to properly show their sacrifice, instead of most of them dying at the last stand, but oh well.

Overall, I'd give it a C+. Not terribly impressive, but watchable and a decent popcorn flick.]]> Writer/Co-Director: Frank Miller (original comic, Sin City comic, helped direct Sin City movie)

*minor spoilers ahead, but if you already know the outcome of the Battle of Thermopylae, then it's not a big deal*

I saw it in the theater last night. I thought it was predictable at times, and a bit repetitive, but it was still watchable. They used a pet peeve of mine - speeding up and slowing down the film during action sequences. I HATE this trend with all my little black heart, because it's run approximately 300 feet into the ground by this point and less realistic than showing a normal frame-rate (then again, who goes to a movie based on a Frank Miller comic and expects realism?). I can see how that can make the fighting scenes more palatable (i.e. slowing down during the important part, when someone actually gets stabbed and killed), but they went a little crazy with it. It sounded cheesy to play rock music during certain sequences, too. And it was a little irritating when they slowed down the film during parts where nothing was really going on, like following the queen in that one shot without knowing her endeavors. What was the point?

It was still awesome how they showed highlights of a Spartan boy growing up, (though the wolf at the end of the sequence looked poorly rendered). I liked the gore from the fighting scenes, and characters' costumers were lush and beautiful. I wish I would have seen more Spartans die in the first few battles (it seemed like little, if any, did) to properly show their sacrifice, instead of most of them dying at the last stand, but oh well.

Overall, I'd give it a C+. Not terribly impressive, but watchable and a decent popcorn flick.]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3950 Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:04:04 +0000 A Black Falcon]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3950
What, do I really need a full review of this waste of time? :) Uhh... there's lots of mostly pointless blood and gore (fountains of blood, decapitations, swords cutting people apart, etc)? Doesn't really make it worth watching though... plenty of bad acting, pointless plot points... Uwe Boll clearly was trying for an epic (oooh, the people who we cared about are dead! ... for the third time in the movie! ... I was supposed to care about them? They never even talked... oh, maybe that kid... a bit... vaguely... (spoilers? Eh, not so much... did you expect anyone other than the main character to survive the film? Then you're not watching the right movie...) but it just doesn't work. Not that that's at all surprising. :D "This is a big dramatic sad scene because everyone is dead" just isn't nearly as moving as Boll thinks. And plus, when you have so MANY scenes which end in piles of bodies...

The plot is also confusing at times (and is lacking in explanation of plenty of things), but all kinds of movies and TV shows, both good and bad, have that problem to varying degrees, so that was more expected... doesn't excuse it, but iffy plots is an all too common movie flaw... still through, there are a LOT of dropped or completely incomprehensible plot points. It's pretty painful at times... :)

The fight at the end was stupid too. For a movie that should be about BloodRayne, why are the two major male characters doing most of the fighting... (not to mention the brilliant plan our three remaining characters had for getting into the evil badguy's castle! ... oh wait, they didn't have one and it just seems to all work out in the end through pure luck? Right... so, so bad...)

Why did I rent it? At this local rental place each day you get a free movie from some specific section with each rental (except weekends, when it's rent 2 to get 1 free), and tuesdays is 'action'... last time I rented the (very good!) Underworld (director's cut). I wasn't exactly expecting anything of that caliber this time (though I wasn't expecting that last time either, but my hopes were higher than for a Uwe Boll film... :D), and my expectations were met. If any movie with this much gore can be bland and uninteresting, this is it...]]>
What, do I really need a full review of this waste of time? :) Uhh... there's lots of mostly pointless blood and gore (fountains of blood, decapitations, swords cutting people apart, etc)? Doesn't really make it worth watching though... plenty of bad acting, pointless plot points... Uwe Boll clearly was trying for an epic (oooh, the people who we cared about are dead! ... for the third time in the movie! ... I was supposed to care about them? They never even talked... oh, maybe that kid... a bit... vaguely... (spoilers? Eh, not so much... did you expect anyone other than the main character to survive the film? Then you're not watching the right movie...) but it just doesn't work. Not that that's at all surprising. :D "This is a big dramatic sad scene because everyone is dead" just isn't nearly as moving as Boll thinks. And plus, when you have so MANY scenes which end in piles of bodies...

The plot is also confusing at times (and is lacking in explanation of plenty of things), but all kinds of movies and TV shows, both good and bad, have that problem to varying degrees, so that was more expected... doesn't excuse it, but iffy plots is an all too common movie flaw... still through, there are a LOT of dropped or completely incomprehensible plot points. It's pretty painful at times... :)

The fight at the end was stupid too. For a movie that should be about BloodRayne, why are the two major male characters doing most of the fighting... (not to mention the brilliant plan our three remaining characters had for getting into the evil badguy's castle! ... oh wait, they didn't have one and it just seems to all work out in the end through pure luck? Right... so, so bad...)

Why did I rent it? At this local rental place each day you get a free movie from some specific section with each rental (except weekends, when it's rent 2 to get 1 free), and tuesdays is 'action'... last time I rented the (very good!) Underworld (director's cut). I wasn't exactly expecting anything of that caliber this time (though I wasn't expecting that last time either, but my hopes were higher than for a Uwe Boll film... :D), and my expectations were met. If any movie with this much gore can be bland and uninteresting, this is it...]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3904 Wed, 19 Jul 2006 01:48:26 +0000 etoven]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3904
Story:

This is the continuing saga of caption Jack Sparrow's adventures. We find old Jack in trouble again, this time with Davy Jones himself. The movie is full of fun action sequences, hilarious wtf moments, and a twist end that will leave you screaming for more. This story has a plot line worty of a episode of Buffy written by Josh Weaton, it will make you want to grab a cigarette break and come back for more.
5 out of 5

Special Effects:

The effects in this movie were absolutely incredible, with CGI in abundance with virtually seamless integration. Never have I seen special make up effects so well done. On the flip side the script called for some corny effects which kind of subtracted from the experience but were funny none the less.
4 out of 5

Acting:

Acting was top notch, especially with captain Jack's big scene at the end. Working with such suficticated effects can't be easy either so I'm awarding bonus points for that.
5 out of 5

Pirates of the caribbean (dead mans chest) gets a...
5 out of 5]]>
Story:

This is the continuing saga of caption Jack Sparrow's adventures. We find old Jack in trouble again, this time with Davy Jones himself. The movie is full of fun action sequences, hilarious wtf moments, and a twist end that will leave you screaming for more. This story has a plot line worty of a episode of Buffy written by Josh Weaton, it will make you want to grab a cigarette break and come back for more.
5 out of 5

Special Effects:

The effects in this movie were absolutely incredible, with CGI in abundance with virtually seamless integration. Never have I seen special make up effects so well done. On the flip side the script called for some corny effects which kind of subtracted from the experience but were funny none the less.
4 out of 5

Acting:

Acting was top notch, especially with captain Jack's big scene at the end. Working with such suficticated effects can't be easy either so I'm awarding bonus points for that.
5 out of 5

Pirates of the caribbean (dead mans chest) gets a...
5 out of 5]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3875 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 21:30:38 +0000 etoven]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3875 Dedicated to Christopher Reaves

This movie was horrible!!!! An insult to Mr. Reaves memory! Let me explain…

Plot:
1 out of 5

Basically Mr. Luther is back and his grand scheme is to take over the world by… Wait for it… Selling real-estate, you heard me correctly, Lex has stolen the secrete to making buildings out of crystals, after hacking superman’s computer composted of millions of shiny stones! Lex is convinced people will pay him billions of dollars to live in homes made eternally made out of disgusting black stones; completely open to the elements with no heating cooling ext. Lex is also convinced that the stones hold the key to the unbelievable technological achievements of kalel’s home world. However, in the entire movie the stones, do no more than grow really big, and well that’s it, they grow… I can do the same thing with a chea-pet. The movie is full of the man of steal making horrible decisions, like trying to steal Lois lane from her husband, abandoning his parents for several years, eventually abandoning his 12 year old son, and flying off into space to go where? Where is he going????

Special Effects:
3 out of 5

The CG scenes where decent however I’ve seen better and they where obvious fabrications. The close-ups of superman flying where an obvious green screen and looked horrible, the Hair Potter flying on the broom effect would have looked much better and been more appropriate, overall not worthy of a modern production.

Acting:
3 out of 5

Acting was good, especially, from the child actor who player super son, and Mrs. Kent. Lex was ok, but not great, and superman’s range of emotion was limited due to one a poor script, and two the actors overall range.

Overall not worth seeing or even renting, and definitely not a tribute to Mr. Reeves memory.

2 out of 5!
]]> Dedicated to Christopher Reaves

This movie was horrible!!!! An insult to Mr. Reaves memory! Let me explain…

Plot:
1 out of 5

Basically Mr. Luther is back and his grand scheme is to take over the world by… Wait for it… Selling real-estate, you heard me correctly, Lex has stolen the secrete to making buildings out of crystals, after hacking superman’s computer composted of millions of shiny stones! Lex is convinced people will pay him billions of dollars to live in homes made eternally made out of disgusting black stones; completely open to the elements with no heating cooling ext. Lex is also convinced that the stones hold the key to the unbelievable technological achievements of kalel’s home world. However, in the entire movie the stones, do no more than grow really big, and well that’s it, they grow… I can do the same thing with a chea-pet. The movie is full of the man of steal making horrible decisions, like trying to steal Lois lane from her husband, abandoning his parents for several years, eventually abandoning his 12 year old son, and flying off into space to go where? Where is he going????

Special Effects:
3 out of 5

The CG scenes where decent however I’ve seen better and they where obvious fabrications. The close-ups of superman flying where an obvious green screen and looked horrible, the Hair Potter flying on the broom effect would have looked much better and been more appropriate, overall not worthy of a modern production.

Acting:
3 out of 5

Acting was good, especially, from the child actor who player super son, and Mrs. Kent. Lex was ok, but not great, and superman’s range of emotion was limited due to one a poor script, and two the actors overall range.

Overall not worth seeing or even renting, and definitely not a tribute to Mr. Reeves memory.

2 out of 5!
]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3874 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 20:41:58 +0000 etoven]]> https://www.tendocity.net/showthread.php?tid=3874
Any user can rate the movie, and a review rating will be posted in every review.]]>
Any user can rate the movie, and a review rating will be posted in every review.]]>