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Racial Realism
#1
Lightbulb 
After having partaken in many discussions with the Intellectual Dark Web (said in menacing, echoy voice), I have come to make a proclamation. It's very important than we dispense with needless, feel-good PC speech policing and safe spaces. I posit to you that there are very real and inherent differences in each race. Each of these can be traced back to biology and genealogy.

Ever notice how every sports competition is dominated by Gorons? There's nothing controversial about acknowledging that they are born with stronger muscles and bone density. Evolutionary biologists would be remiss to dismiss this. And in the interest of galaxy-brain scientific inquiry, without a cough of bigotry, we must also have the courage to ask such questions as: what accounts for the IQ differences between Gorons and Hylians?

Big ivory castle academics will hem and haw and hand-wave this away. They suggest that the differences stem purely from Gorons being born and raised in caves, with inferior school systems that consist not of books, but primitive stone tablets. Rampant rock thievery and poverty also causes some Goron families to have trouble putting food on the table. The stress and malnourishment causes developmental issues in little Goron children, which has long-term ramifications on IQ.

Preposterous! I ask you, why have Gorons fallen behind to begin with? You can see this in caves all throughout Hyrule, all the way to the wealthy ("Goron-rich") Death Mountain. When will Gorons pull themselves up by the bootstraps?

Look, I'm not a Hylian supremacist. To show a token of good faith, I'll also admit that Zora are inherently better at math than either Gorons or Hylians. You may even call them a "model minority". So why should Gorons expect a hand-out and free pass, when Zora immigrants come to Hyrule and dominate STEM fields? I say, best candidate for the job! What if I'm seeing a Goron doctor, and have to worry about whether he was allowed through medical school via affirmative action?

We're charting a dangerous course for Socialist Communist Marxist Hylian Cultural Genocide. Why, over to the west, they're even giving Gerudo women spears and letting them stand guard. Madness! A Goron could roll in and knock them over like a bunch of bowling pins! A Gerudo woman will never be a... hey... I've never even seen a Gerudo man. THEY'VE ALREADY DISPOSED OF THEM!

The point is, this is REALITY, people. We don't live in a land of fairies and elves! Facts don't care about your feelings!
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#2
Navi was rather put off by your declaration she doesn't exist.  That kind of erasure is something that harms the fairy population.  In fact every time you deny their existance it's essentially a death sentence.  To that I say I DO believe in fairies good sir!

And another thing.  So many are upset by the way fairies with their wings are able to fly into certain safe spaces and potentially cause harm to oppressed classes like... the ruling class.  Again and again they cite a certain incident in a neighboring kingdom where it was put into slumber for decades by some malevolent fairy who's name slips my mind.  If not for one lone prince slaying her who knows if that thorny problem would have been taken care of?  However, not all fairies are like her, in fact most aren't!  Most fairies aren't a danger to anyone and deserve their identity to be respected and acknowledged.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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#3
Not to stereotype, but every fairy I've met has been very shrew. Why are they so bossy! I'm just trying to save the world, I don't need some dame nagging me with hints. I'm a MAN, damn it! Let me prove it. Where's a princess to rescue?! I'm gonna plant a big ol' smoocher to wake her up.

Impa, stop! It's not non-consensual! She never said no!
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#4
Apparently, in D&D they are planning something to remove race as a thing, so you can have an Elf with a Dwarf's stat bonuses or something. I'm not sure what I think of that...
(Yes, this is real and not a joke: https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/feature...ty-and-dnd )
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#5
(6th August 2020, 8:38 PM)A Black Falcon Wrote: Apparently, in D&D they are planning something to remove race as a thing, so you can have an Elf with a Dwarf's stat bonuses or something. I'm not sure what I think of that...
(Yes, this is real and not a joke: https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/feature...ty-and-dnd )
Seems like this defeats the purpose of having different races with different advantages...? I know it's problematic to translate a thing like that (in particular IQ and behavioral traits) to different human races, but... I mean, it seems the different D&D races are practically different species? Dwarf vs. Paladin (human?) vs. Halfling vs... I forget what else. I wanted to be a wizard but apparently that wasn't an option. So I went with druid, and my friend made some snide comment about how that was a girly thing to choose. wtf dude, I want to be king of the wolves and have a bear come maul your ass, then I'll chill by a camp fire with my furry friends and eat your flesh, you fuck-off
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#6
It's tricky. On the one hand, if you treat them like different species, which they are in a fantasy world, it is clear -- each one is a different species, and the idea of an Elf with a Dwarf's bonuses makes no sense at all.

I get what they are thinking though, people treat them as something as much like human races and not different fantasy species, so saying "this race natively is dumber and more evil" has ... clear negative connotations in the real world. So, they do this.

But the problem is, they aren't real world human races, which are variants of a single species. They are supposed to be different species, and no matter how much a human wishes they aren't going to be as strong as an ox or something.

So yeah, I'm not sure what the best approach is. (Maybe it's "blame Tolkien for this whole mess"?)
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Currently Playing: Various Stuff
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#7
Oh don't drag Tolkein into this.

My suggestion is simply calling them "species" and allowing their personalities to vary far more widely within a culture.  A culture is not the individual, it's more of a statistical average of a group of individuals.  There are klingon lawyers.  There's saiyan engineers.  There can be a minotaur paladin.  Special traits should stray away from things like "good at goldsmithing" and towards more absolute things like "driders are the only ones that can spin freaking webbing from their butts"

Related to this, it's important to recognize the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural blending.  Wearing another culture's stereotypical garb and costuming as say a native American, that's appropriation.  On the other hand, wearing a set of mocassins because you just think they're confy without going the whole "hey I'm this race for fun" route is just cultural blending.  (And no, there's no situation where blackface is "blending", it's ALWAYS cultural appropriation and racist.)
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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#8
I found this to be a thinly-veiled racist rant against Goron-Americans by a biggot, whose apish opinions of the graceful, semi-deistic Goron übermenschen reflect the fevered rantings of a delirious madman. How dare you confine us to your stereotypical interpretations of our manifest and corporeal glories. We Gorons excel at athletics by virtue of the three godesses who, before departing to the heavens, their labors done, declared that all Gorons should be really sexy and good at everything. But nowhere in your diatribe do you take pause to reflect upon the splendors of the great Goron poet Rockus B. Gorona, our Nobel laureate author Roximus Q. Sediment, or the voluptuous curves of our Miss Hyrule pagent queen Sexica de la Crystal! In conclusion, due to the manifold slights and indignations unjustly done onto us by you specifically, we demand that reparations to the sum of R 500,000,000 be paid out, such total to be be sub-divided and evenly dispersed between every living Goron man, woman and child, except for a small sum to firstly be spent on appropriating a jacuzzi for HRM Darunius Maximus. First such payments to be paid in installments beginning at the start of every month, henceforth, in perpetuity, or until such time as the Goron people get over it.

Yours in duress,

HRM Darvnivs Maximus, rex Græcorum, Romanorum, etc., etc.
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
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#9
Reparations? Sounds an awful lot like welfare to me! I'm not paying for your rock eating habits! Next thing I know, you'll be smoking them!

But as a dewey-eyed, lefty, tolerant, cultural relatavist, I will put aside my atheistic, scientific, autistic sensibilities to grudgingly admit that your primitive belief system surrounding three goddesses is beautiful and sacred in its own right.

Consider my i's dotted and t's crossed and virtues signaled.
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#10
*Somewhere deep under ground, in a moist, slimy cave, a bug-eyed Sacred Jellbean ham-fistedly paws a keyboard, his face dripping with sweat*

SACRED JELLYBEAN: He-HAW! I hate all you rock-eating DIGGERS! I denigrate you with impunity!

*Suddenly, Goron troops of the Elite 517th Special Forces unit, smash through his vault door, toting MP-40s*

OFFICER: HIT THE DECK! DO IT! DO IT NOW!

SACRED JELLYBEAN: As if I'm going to let a fillthy DIGGER like you tell me what to---

**CONCENTREATED MACHINE GUN FIRE**
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
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#11
Ubblol


[Image: 9l1Nl8S.png]

Typical Gorons, always wanting to solve problems by shooting people up! Why is it they say Gorons Lives Matter, but are murdering each other in roll-by shootings, in way higher numbers than Hylian guards kill them?

And pull up your damn pants!
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#12
Haterz gunna h8
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST
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#13
There's that blocky N64 era model I've missed so.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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