10th May 2004, 2:45 AM
Cats...
I have no idea how old any of my cats are since they never celebrate their birthdays. The largest cat (named kiki) is a male and nurses the other two smaller cats and/or mates with them. He is the wiser of the 3 and is also the most loving/evil. The other 2; their names are Freeloader and Mystery Kitty. Freeloader hides, bolts from place to place (using the furniture as trenches) and generally doesn't want to be around anyone. Mystery Kitty has 14 seperate names and variations from different people though everyone can agree that she's a slut who rapes furniture with her butt. Both of them 'appeared' on seperate occasions. But kiki was found on Christmas Day on top of an old Harley Davidson years ago.
Now as far as beating other cats up, I've seen kiki run from can openers and small birds and also pouncing on helpless dead insects. Sometimes getting scared of the sounds Mystery Kitty makes while he/she mates with her (kiki is a hemaphrodite). Mystery Kitty can be induced in to hiding by an object moving too fast within her field of vision, unless she's horny. When she's horny she could care less about what happens around her and becomes one of her other 14 names: "Sado Maso-cat" where in she seems to like being walked on and smacked around by the other cats and enjoys pain. Now Freeloader stays hidden for days at a time and has no will to fight anything, though enjoys mating with Mystery Kitty when she doesn't expect it. I call this Ninja-Hump as it's not rape but it's sudden, over quickly and could be at any time without you expecting it.
Sometimes we forget we own 3 cats, but then the realization settles in that we dont own any of our cats. We simply feed and shelter them when they visit.
Having said all of this, my ferrets are trained comedic serial killers, an ancient and deadly art of dooking death. When you hear the dook dook dook, you know you dont have long to live.
I have no idea how old any of my cats are since they never celebrate their birthdays. The largest cat (named kiki) is a male and nurses the other two smaller cats and/or mates with them. He is the wiser of the 3 and is also the most loving/evil. The other 2; their names are Freeloader and Mystery Kitty. Freeloader hides, bolts from place to place (using the furniture as trenches) and generally doesn't want to be around anyone. Mystery Kitty has 14 seperate names and variations from different people though everyone can agree that she's a slut who rapes furniture with her butt. Both of them 'appeared' on seperate occasions. But kiki was found on Christmas Day on top of an old Harley Davidson years ago.
Now as far as beating other cats up, I've seen kiki run from can openers and small birds and also pouncing on helpless dead insects. Sometimes getting scared of the sounds Mystery Kitty makes while he/she mates with her (kiki is a hemaphrodite). Mystery Kitty can be induced in to hiding by an object moving too fast within her field of vision, unless she's horny. When she's horny she could care less about what happens around her and becomes one of her other 14 names: "Sado Maso-cat" where in she seems to like being walked on and smacked around by the other cats and enjoys pain. Now Freeloader stays hidden for days at a time and has no will to fight anything, though enjoys mating with Mystery Kitty when she doesn't expect it. I call this Ninja-Hump as it's not rape but it's sudden, over quickly and could be at any time without you expecting it.
Sometimes we forget we own 3 cats, but then the realization settles in that we dont own any of our cats. We simply feed and shelter them when they visit.
Having said all of this, my ferrets are trained comedic serial killers, an ancient and deadly art of dooking death. When you hear the dook dook dook, you know you dont have long to live.