TendoCity Awards!

[EdenMaster]

Well, with all the turmoil around here, why not have a little fun? And what better way than to revive the antiquated but always enjoyable TENDOCITY AWARDS!

You all know how this works, I'll give you a list of awards, and then you <b><i><u>PRIVATE MESSAGE</b></i></u> your nominations for each award to me. Any nominations posted in this thread will be ignored. The whole idea is that this is a secret ballot. Any registered member can be nominated for any award.

The actual awards haven't changed much, they're the same basic ones, enjoy!

Best Name
Worst Name
Best Signature
Worst Signature
Best Avatar
Worst Avatar
Best Title
Worst Title
Favorite Tendite
Least Favorite Tendite

These two are a bit different, but you should be able to figure them out

Favorite Forum
Favorite Thread (can be ANY thread in ANY forum)

And the classic:

Person you'd gladly pay to see burn in flames for five minutes

That last one is very open. That one isn't to just mmbers of the forum. Nominate whoever you want. Previous nominations have included Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Kobe Bryant :D

Good luck, and above all, have fun!

[Great Rumbler]

It's about time we did this again! Hooyah!

[Darunia]

As a new category, we should add "Most Goron-Like". I'd be a shoe-in for that!!

[Great Rumbler]

I don't know I think I'd have a pretty good shot at it too.

[deanna]

What is a tendite??

[Great Rumbler]

Tendite - Resident of Tendo City

[deanna]

Ohhhh :D.....duh :( I am an idiot, sorry

[EdenMaster]

I'm going to give you all a couple more days to get in your entries! If you haven't sent in your nominations, please do so now!

[deanna]

Yeah people...GIT ER DUN!!

[Great Rumbler]

I already voted so don't look at me!

[deanna]

*looks at GR*

[lazyfatbum]

Holy krap a girl.

I dont know what to do, hmm...

*touches tip of penis to nose*

TA-DA! Now I laugh like Barney Rubble and quickly blow air in to deanna's anus. Mmm... Womalloon. Sort of like pastry except it's alive and grows hair. It reminds me of being on Bourbon street in a post-retrospective kinda way that I cant get in to right now. I mean I guess I could, but I wont.

It was last month, we were all drunk. There were ten year old girls drinking yards of beer and a horse that could talk and rode on top of a police officer. Suddenly, we were surrounded by naked women who wanted our beads. and... no! I had to show my tits to hundreds to boys before they gave me their beads. I work hard for the money, oh ee oh ee, I work hard for the money, oh ee oh ee. I work hard for the money, so you better treat me right. Then I woke up at someone's apartment and they owned guns which was a pleasant contrast. I couldn't move yet so I drank coffee all day and then threw up.

Contents of my vomit - Jan. 15th 2005

* Tomatoes
* Ground beef
* Throat losenges
* A single serve bottle of Tobasco sauce
* Pennies
* Tater-Tots
* Unidentifiable relics of the past
* A McDonalds wrapper
* And corn

For three days after that event I had the super human powers to paint like Bob Ross using only red and speak in a plethora of accents including the often misplaced 'afro-gringo-cheese' which is a mixture of northern Spain, Ethiopia and Wisconson.

"Hola, senor click click? 'whistle' PACKERS WOO!"

It loses something in the textual translation, but you get the basic understanding. Keep in mind that most institutions of thought on the teachings of dialect do not pay heed to my gift. Regardless, I can masturbate up to 8 times daily and still manage to accomplish very little.

I vote for no one. My social security card is USELESS TO YOUR PAGEN GOVERNMENT OF REPRESSION ETC ETC

[deanna]

Ok, that hurt my eyes, and it didn't make much sense, but I read it, and its about time you posted!

[lazyfatbum]

You bet your shiny ass it's about time I posted dammit

I just masturbated while drinking coffee and smoking. I am so the man. Plus i'm not going to get dressed today. Except i just realized I need to make phone calls... shit. Fucking time differences! they fist me! over and over and when they're done fisting me, they fist me again! and play John Williams - Saving Private Ryan Original Soundtrack - Hymn to the Fallen until my dick hole burns! Which reminds me of Bourbon street again. FUCK i'm wasting time here! okay i'll leave on my favorite cheer

RAT SHIT - BAT SHIT
DIRTY OLD TWAT

SISXTY NINE ASSHOLES
TIED IN A KNOT

HOORAY!

LIZARD SHIT!

FUCK!

*crowd goes wild, Casey's up to bat, bottom of the ninth and Rogerson has two balls on him ah-HOO-aha!*

[deanna]

You bet your shiny ass it's about time I posted dammit

Wait, how do you know its shiny?

[Great Rumbler]

Shine get!!

...

Wait...what?

Seriously, though, we'd be lost without you, lazy. :)

[deanna]

Shine get?!? what the crap??

[Great Rumbler]

Shine get?!? what the crap??

This:

[deanna]

yeah but......:shake: nevermind

[Great Rumbler]

You see in Super Mario Sunshine you have to GET the shines, so when you obtain the shines you have in effect "shine GOTTEN", but since it's in the present tense the grammatically incorrect term would be "shine GOT". It all makes a twisted sort of sense, really.

[lazyfatbum]

deanna, all girls have shiny asses. It's a law of nature, a constant in the universe. If a girl existed without a shiny ass, we would be thrusted in to chaos and ultimately oblivion.

Girl's asses also have the distinct smell of bread.

[deanna]

I have never smelled mine, or any other girl's...so, ok


And GR, I knew what you meant but I didn't think that had anything to do with a shiny butt...

[Great Rumbler]

And that's why it's funny.

[deanna]

Oh sorry...*attempts to laugh* :D

[lazyfatbum]

hey grumbler I think she's flirting with you.

Flirting is when you demoralize a person and make them feel stupid, right? I always get 'flirting' and 'BALL-SAC AMPUTATION' confused, the terms are too similar.

If you could smell your own butt, you wouldn't leave the house. Atleast I wouldn't. I'd be way too busy tossing my own salad. That was wrong, I dont know why I typed that. I'm leaving now.

[Great Rumbler]

....

[deanna]

hey grumbler I think she's flirting with you.

GAH!!!!!



I always get accused of flirting...:( :bummed: I'm not trying to...

[lazyfatbum]

Come on over to my apartment, deanna. I'll show you all the flirting you want.*

Also, now that we have a girl on the board again other than maplegirl or my wife, lets try to corner deanna in to showing a full body shot with partrial nudity.**

Come on, deanna. Yunno you want to.***


*statement may be considered offensive

**statement contains reason for arrest or criminal investigation

***pure evil

****You dont wanna know what this one means. I mean yowza that's a spicy meat ball, holy wow.

[deanna]

a full body shot, omg...

you are crazy...


WHERE ARE OUR RESULTS??

[EdenMaster]

now that we have a girl on the board again other than maplegirl or my wife

But really, how often do either of them show up anymore? I haven't seen NetMapel here for literally years and TA only shows up very infrequently any more.

As for the results from the TC awards, they'll be posted over the weekend.

[Dark Jaguar]

Bite my splintery wooden arse!

My collosal metal arse!

My glorious golden arse! (wait that's lazy's)

[Geno]

What was the one where they listed Bender's most used words? What did they use in place of metal?

[Dark Jaguar]

daffodil

pimp-mobile

That's it, I'm riding the next pimp-mobile out of here!

Wait a minute, I just got an idea so clever that I

*gavel slam*

Judge: $10,000 bail and time served!

Bender: Stupid anti-pimping laws! *looks at Leela* Well, pay the man!

25 cent robo-prostitutes: Bender, you the greatest!

Bender: Shut up baby I know it!

[Geno]

I was raised by a cup of coffee!

[Great Rumbler]

I have a cucumber shaped like Leonard Maltin!

[A Black Falcon]

I never got around to voting... actually, I haven't been on the computer in a few days... but I did put almost 15 hours into Tales of Symphonia, finish the last mission in Rebel Strike, and even play some Majora's Mask...

But really, how often do either of them show up anymore? I haven't seen NetMapel here for literally years and TA only shows up very infrequently any more.

Mapel's on MSN sometimes.

[deanna]

But really, how often do either of them show up anymore? I haven't seen NetMapel here for literally years and TA only shows up very infrequently any more.

As for the results from the TC awards, they'll be posted over the weekend.

ok...thanks Eden

[Geno]

I voted... do I get a sticker? I got a sticker when I voted in last year's presidential election!

[Great Rumbler]

I voted too, but no one gave me a sticker. Hey, EdenMaster, can we get some stickers for voting? Or do we merely recieve the joy of knowning that our ballot will make a difference in a pointless vote on a small forum where only about 5 people even care enough to fill out the ballot?

[lazyfatbum]

A poem within a riddle, with boobs HIDDEN BY SANDWICH BREAD! and I will speak in a german accent while painting the dog and yes so forever it wouldn't, no, shouldn't gratify cannot plus should 'growing restraints of publc restrooms' because economic growth and face value detracts the raw surplus matter-of-factly or not at all.

My judgement affected...

with almondine,

"Tiberius"

ps. deanna sometimes enjoys women sexually. PROVE ME WRONG!

[Dark Jaguar]

Indeed lazy, which is why the concept of where the burden of proof lies was thought up for the needs of the scientific method, MOST AWESOME OF ALL THOUGHT PROCESSES! In this case, you made the claim, you need to prove it!

lazy: *fires patriot missiles out of arse at a robotic Mr T doing like something erotic to a socket wrench*

DJ: Well... That's my momma! ... *walks off stage*

[Great Rumbler]

Actually, the scientific method is inheritely flawed. For you see it does not find "the truth" as it should but rather the "first truth". For every problem there are an infinite number of solutions and by using the scientific method you stop after finding a solution that fits, instead going forward with the experiments in search of more truths.

...

*does something amazing with a power saw while Alexander Hamilton does the moonwalk in the background while Freddy Mercury plays a harmonica to the tune of Beethoven's Ode to Joy*

[Dark Jaguar]

No, there are not an infinite number of solutions. There is no evidence to support that claim. Prove there are infinite solutions to EVERY problem! That'll be hard, as I have yet to find even one alternative method to getting a large number of jiggies in Banjo-Kazooie, just as an example. And yes, video games being a part of the universe, that example is just fine in disarming your puny little argument.

And it's not the "first truth", it's the simplest truth that accuratly describes the phenomenon. ONE TRUTH PREVAILS. So, for example if the phenomenon is 0 then the simplest explanation is 0=0, not 0+1-1=0, though the latter is technically true, it is superfluous.

What, did you get that from some UFO watcher, or conspiracy buff, or chiropractor? Why believe quacks and loonies who deny reality in favor of their delusions? Only the scientific method has ever yielded any real results!

Honestly, it's the scientists that should be running the country, not the people who just sound good on stage.

[deanna]

ps. deanna sometimes enjoys women sexually. PROVE ME WRONG!

Where'd you get that idea???

1. thats nasty
   
2. i am only 14...i don't enjoy ANYTHING sexually
   
3. thats just really nasty
   

[Great Rumbler]

No, there are not an infinite number of solutions. There is no evidence to support that claim. Prove there are infinite solutions to EVERY problem! That'll be hard, as I have yet to find even one alternative method to getting a large number of jiggies in Banjo-Kazooie, just as an example. And yes, video games being a part of the universe, that example is just fine in disarming your puny little argument.

And it's not the "first truth", it's the simplest truth that accuratly describes the phenomenon. ONE TRUTH PREVAILS. So, for example if the phenomenon is 0 then the simplest explanation is 0=0, not 0+1-1=0, though the latter is technically true, it is superfluous.

What, did you get that from some UFO watcher, or conspiracy buff, or chiropractor? Why believe quacks and loonies who deny reality in favor of their delusions? Only the scientific method has ever yielded any real results!

Honestly, it's the scientists that should be running the country, not the people who just sound good on stage.

You've obviously never read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". :)

[lazyfatbum]

There are 3 lies:

Lies.

Damn lies.

And statistics.

There are 3 truths:

Truth.

Rumor.

And deanna sometimes enjoys women sexually.

Deanna... when i was 14 I made a pump out of baby bottles and spent hours curled up in the bath tub trying to lick my own penis. I watched porn 8 hours out of the day and took pictures of unsuspecting women in their bathing suits so I could photoshop them for days to make it appear that they're nude. On occasion I would watch transvestite porn and carefully masturbate while staying in a 'safe place' in my mind by telling myself "They have women's brains". I got erections when the cat was in heat, I taped my penis to paper weights, I recorded Sailor Moon and watched it frame by frame during her transformations, I french kissed a mirror, I put my penis in a hole I carved out of a pumpkin, I lubed up balloons for sexual purposes, when my hair was long enough I would tie it in a knot around my balls and pretend I was an elephant and rape the waterbed and I even once masturbated to the discovery channel during Shark Week.

This excuse of "i'm only 14, I dont do anything sexually" is a false statement. You should be sliding pencils and other thin objects in to your vagina every night and trying to find those 'nice places' (the major one being on the outside, but okay). You should be humping the blankets, sitting on back massagers and putting peanut butter on your crotch so the dog will lick it off all while watching Dawson's Creek or the like, perhaps "Summer Land" on the WB which as we all know is the young girl's masturbation channel.

You will soon succumb to the powers of nasty. Nasty will rule your life and control your every thought, people will call you sick and wrong while they go hide in a dark place and do those very same things that they yelled at you for. All you need is a webcam and a few wine coolers, it WILL happen, and you WILL like it.

sean_bradshaw22@hotmail.com

[OB1]

[deanna]

I have a webcam but I don't do nasty stuff with it. It only works if you put the cords exactly right anyways . But you find a lot of pervs who are always trying to get you to flash them and stuff like that. I never flash them though. I find my ways to talk them out of it.

[lazyfatbum]

hahaha

If I were you I would make a large sign to put behind you while you're chatting on the cam. It should read "If you want to see my tits, you're shit out of luck (but if you're really cute i'll give my teddybear a table dance, I accept Visa)"

[deanna]

:D

Yeah...but I'm not a slut, so that wouldn't work