6th August 2004, 7:29 PM
Another foolish one decided to try and scam me, and it got through the spam blocker... (Not a surprise, even with that thing activated, a lot of stuff gets through... I haven't had a non-spam e-mail in a few months...) Anyway, it's rather hilarious so I decided, eh, might as well post it...
So, the obvious thing to do? Pretend to fall for it, but in the most evil way possible! Here's my response.
Quote:MR. CHEUNG PUI
HANG SENG BANK LTD.
Sai Wan Ho Branch
171 Shaukiwan Road
Hong Kong.
cheungpui77@internav.com
Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Cheung
Pui
credit officer of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have a
concealed business suggestion for you.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client General.
Ibrahim Moussa who was with the Iraqi forces and also
business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18
calendar months, with a value of Twenty millions Five
Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my
branch. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him,
even during the war early last year. Again after the
war another notification was sent and still no
response came from him. We later found out that the
General and his family had been killed during the war
in bomb blast that hit their home.
After further investigation it was also discovered
that Gen. Ibrahim Moussa did not declare any next of
kin in his official papers including the paper work of
his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last
time he was at my office that no one except me knew of
his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty millions Five
Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying
in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim
it. What bothers me most is that according to
the laws of my country at the expiration 3 years the
funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong
Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I
will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of
kin to Gen. Ibrahim Moussa so that you will be able to
receive his funds.
WHAT IS TO BE DONE:
I want you to know that I have had everything planned
out so that we shall come out successful. I have
contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary
document that will back you up as the next of kin to
Gen. Ibrahim Moussa, all that is required from you at
this stage is for you to provide me with your Full
Names and Address so that the attorney can commence
his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the
attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf
and secure the necessary approval and letter of
probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an
account that will be provided by you.
There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we
are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney
will prepare all the necessary documents. Please
endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters
concerning this issue.
Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated
bank account we shall then negoiate the sharing ratio.
Should you be interested please send me your private
phone and fax numbers for easy communication and I
will provide you with more details of this operation.
Your earliest response to this letter will be
appreciated.please contact me via this
E-mail:cheungpui77@internav.com
Kind Regards
Mr. Cheung Pui
So, the obvious thing to do? Pretend to fall for it, but in the most evil way possible! Here's my response.
Quote:Interesting plan, but here's a better one. How about
instead of negotiating this nasty sharing business, I
take ALL the money for myself, and in exchange, I
won't turn you in to your government for fraud. Don't
think I won't do it. You made the mistake of giving
me all the information I need. I require you send ALL
the money to me in the form of an access code for that
bank account within 24 hours or you can consider
yourself out of a job, among other things. I do hope
this can conclude quickly and without any treachery on your part, and you hope this too.
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
