My cat can beat up your cat

[Dark Jaguar]

Well it can!

[Weltall]

My cat can lick your speakers!

[alien space marine]

My cat will kill yours before it even knows what happend.

[Great Rumbler]

My cat is older than yours.

[Darunia]

I have three cats, and when their powers combine, they morph into Das Uber Katten---the most powerful and gnarly cat ever! Das Uber Katten can destroy all other cats.

[Great Rumbler]

My cat is still older thus making it wiser than Das Uber Katten thus making my cat the winner.

[Dark Jaguar]

My cat has the spirit of the warrior though, thus making it the victor before the battle even begun! You want rematch? Okay, it win again! Haha, had enough? I thought so!

[Darunia]

All right, buddy, JUST HOW old is your cat!?

[A Black Falcon]

My two cats would beat your three any day!

[Undertow]

My cat can beat up your cat

Oh yea?

[Dark Jaguar]

Bench nothin'! Weight doesn't matter when ya got the power my cat's got! I give you hint. Ya know how you wouldn't guess that that stick of dynomite you're holding could kick your arse from the weight alone? Same thing here!

[Moiraine]

My 2 kitties will kill all of your cats :stick:

[Great Rumbler]

All right, buddy, JUST HOW old is your cat!?

It'll be 13 years old this summer.

[alien space marine]

I know a cat that is 23.

[Great Rumbler]

That's old for a cat.

[Weltall]

My 2 kitties will kill all of your cats :stick:

Well... no. One of them is too lazy to actually attack something.

The other one's been dead for about 18 months. And she was even more afraid of everything.

[lazyfatbum]

Cats...

I have no idea how old any of my cats are since they never celebrate their birthdays. The largest cat (named kiki) is a male and nurses the other two smaller cats and/or mates with them. He is the wiser of the 3 and is also the most loving/evil. The other 2; their names are Freeloader and Mystery Kitty. Freeloader hides, bolts from place to place (using the furniture as trenches) and generally doesn't want to be around anyone. Mystery Kitty has 14 seperate names and variations from different people though everyone can agree that she's a slut who rapes furniture with her butt. Both of them 'appeared' on seperate occasions. But kiki was found on Christmas Day on top of an old Harley Davidson years ago.

Now as far as beating other cats up, I've seen kiki run from can openers and small birds and also pouncing on helpless dead insects. Sometimes getting scared of the sounds Mystery Kitty makes while he/she mates with her (kiki is a hemaphrodite). Mystery Kitty can be induced in to hiding by an object moving too fast within her field of vision, unless she's horny. When she's horny she could care less about what happens around her and becomes one of her other 14 names: "Sado Maso-cat" where in she seems to like being walked on and smacked around by the other cats and enjoys pain. Now Freeloader stays hidden for days at a time and has no will to fight anything, though enjoys mating with Mystery Kitty when she doesn't expect it. I call this Ninja-Hump as it's not rape but it's sudden, over quickly and could be at any time without you expecting it.

Sometimes we forget we own 3 cats, but then the realization settles in that we dont own any of our cats. We simply feed and shelter them when they visit.

Having said all of this, my ferrets are trained comedic serial killers, an ancient and deadly art of dooking death. When you hear the dook dook dook, you know you dont have long to live.

[alien space marine]

The oldest cat in the world was 36 ,One is close to being 37 soon.

smissy the Cat is older than me , She is 23 years old and doesnt like being grabed.She probaily wont live much longer but she might make 24.I always wonderd if Maybe that makes Smissy the 3rd oldest cat in the world in History or is it alot more common.

[Darunia]

13!? You're cat is a geriatric! Haha, my comparatively spry, young nubile cats will eat YOUR senile old thing for breakfast! Harty har-har-har.

[Geno]

I have a cat that's nearly 12 years old... I won't try to pretend that he'd beat up all your cats 'cause he used to get beat up by all the neighborhood cats when he was a kitten. Now he lets them have his food... poor kitty. :(

Now, my hamster is a different story... she could whup all of your pets, cats, dogs, hamsters, and guinea pigs alike!

[alien space marine]

I knew a blind cat once , It was cool,You could put your fingers 2 cm close to touching his eyes and he wouldnt even blink or notice. He wouldnt run away like the other cats as he would likely run into a wall,What is neat is that he still can visualize were the door is so he navigates on his sixth sense.

[Geno]

Neat.

I hate cat abusers though. They should all be lined up against a wall and shot. My grandma's cat Boots (1986-1997) was the victim of a cat abuser.

[Great Rumbler]

Cat abusers suck.

[alien space marine]

What about Human abusing cats?

[Great Rumbler]

Hmm...

[Weltall]

My cat Reba (the only animal that was ever truly mine) has two very unusual characteristics:

1: She is extraordinarily loyal to me. She comes whenever I call her, she follows me everywhere, and the only time she's not in my room is when she needs to take a kittyshit. She's loyal to the point of annoyance, and I'll pick her up and set her down elsewhere when she's in my way, and she just accepts it. She loves me.

2: She has a total lack of grace and balance. She can jump as high as any cat, but unless she does it from the ground, she will always knock over whatever she's using as a launch-pad (usually my lampstand). Quite often she never quite gets a grip, she slips and has to be saved by me. She knocks things over and has been known to get trapped by paper bags.

She could never kick anyone's ass.

Now, my chihuahua Boner, on the other hand... she might not be able to kick anyone's ass cause she's so small, but she doesn't let logic stop her from trying. She tries to kick Reba's ass practically everytime their paths cross, but Reba can escape easily.

[alien space marine]

Boner?

:D

[Weltall]

Boner?

:D

The name 'Bonita' is bigger than she is. I started calling her Boner practically the moment my mother named her, and it caught on.

[Dark Jaguar]

My cat Camelot has this sort of attachment to me. I wouldn't say loyalty, as I have a strong feeling if I was ever shrunk down to mouse size, I wouldn't last long... That cat certainly loves to be around me at THIS size though, and in fact will NOT stand to be outside my room when I go to sleep, as a result, I have set a litter box in my room, at the far end, so Camelot can sleep in here.

[Great Rumbler]

My cat's name is Elizabeth, but since that's a long name we shortened it to Lizy. Also I have two dogs named Smokey and Pepper [both of which are now white]. The only person Smokey ever comes to when he's called is my mom, if anyone else calls to him he'll glance at them once and then completely ignore them.

[Dark Jaguar]

"Calling" a cat around here means making chittering noises and whistles, things that get their attention. We learned a long time ago that their names, while they might recognize that's the noise we humans make when addressing them, are not things they understand as "commands", so much as "okay, something having to do with me, whatever, I'm tired".

[Moiraine]

The other one's been dead for about 18 months. And she was even more afraid of everything.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

[Darunia]

My oldest cat is Perseus; he's so banged up and broken that we wonder what keeps him going. He survived a car accident; got a pin in his hip...one of his claws never retracts. The skin just beneath his ears is constantly sore and bloody. He was so bad after that accident that he actually resigned to die; he crawled away to do so, but we took him to the vet. He's the alpha male of the cat community; bosses the others around, and takes their food. He also sprays everything. He likes being held and patted, and is a lap cat.

Napoleon is a big, fuzzy pillow of a cat with a soft meow. He hates being held unless (very rarely) he'll come to you.

Josephine is a stray I brought home a few months ago; a tiny little long-haired girl. She's tolerate being held, but she doesn't come willingly.

[Weltall]

Why, oh why, does it not suprise me that you have a pet named Napoleon?

[Dark Jaguar]

Because he's a 1 inch high 1 ton goron? So ya got a cat that sprays everything huh? If that means what I think it means first "eww", and second, I feel sorry for the days when you can't quite make it to the top of your bed and have to sleep on the floor... Now, I'm not saying Darunia's short, but when he sees a sandwitch with one of those sword toothpicks in it, he thinks he's the destined king of England.

[Great Rumbler]

Why, oh why, does it not suprise me that you have a pet named Napoleon?

And the his other cat is name Josephine.

[alien space marine]

Its ilegal in France to name a pet Napoleon, An old law that the Napoleon made when he found out a county fair named the prized Pig Napoleon he had the name baned off the list of pet names and whoever broke the law would be hanged.

Atleast non his cats are Named Hitler. :D

[Darunia]

Atleast non his cats are Named Hitler.

I don't feel that I need to address this.

[OB1]

Yeah, because that's ridiculous. Your poodle is named Hitler, complete with rubber moustache and toupe. :p

[alien space marine]

He could have Hitler,Napoleon and stalin all in the same house.

[Geno]

I have too many animals...

First, there's my cat, Mittens. He lives outside now because of this new dog we got. I'll talk about her later. Mittens claws too much and can get aggressive with humans, but is usually non-aggressive. (And can be somewhat of a 'fraidy cat at times.)

Next, we have my chihuahua, Ginger. She's a bit chubby, but she's the nicest animal we've got. (A surprise for a chihuahua, I know.) She's starting to get a bit grouchy now that we have the new dog... in fact, she absolutely hates the new dog. Still, she's usually still sweet to the rest of us, and she gets along with the other animals just fine. (In fact, she's the only animal I'll let near my hamsters and rabbit.)

I've got two hamsters. The first one is Pixie. She's evil... pure evil. She killed her sister Dixie when they were still young, then cannibalized her carcass. Yet I love her to death... I guess that's the magic of the pet-owner bond.

The other hamster is Bijou. I got her after another hamster (Dixie, Jr.) died, who I got after Dixie died. Bijou sometimes bites, but she's usually nice. She's an albino. (Or similar to one.)

I have a Dutch dwarf rabbit named Snickers. He frikkin' rules. He doesn't ever go to the bathroom on the floor, and he's only about six months old. In fact, I got him when he was one month old and he already seemed to be potty-trained then. The only problem with him is his sharp nails... I need to clip them, or have the vet do it.

Finally, there's our new Golden Retriever, Adia. My brother bought her and hardly ever spends any time with her. She's mostly caused trouble and she bites too damn much. She drove Mittens out of the house and pisses Ginger off, fighting with her over bones and jumping on her playfully. (Ginger's ten years old though, so she doesn't want to play like that.) But, she is starting to learn to behave, and we're going to send her to obedience school. Frankly, I don't even think we needed to get her since we already had more than enough animals. I don't hate her though; she's just a puppy, and it's not her fault that my brother's an idiot.

[Darunia]

AHA! Take THAT all you pacifists who said if I ignore it, it'll go away. OB1 and ASM; two of my time-honored nemesis here. I could've only expected it'd be them. I only wish that the poor GI who those insane assholes executed could've been you two.

[lazyfatbum]

We learned a long time ago that their names, while they might recognize that's the noise we humans make when addressing them, are not things they understand as "commands", so much as "okay, something having to do with me, whatever, I'm tired".

Hahahahha, that's exactly the look they give. :D

*snaps fingers* Come here, kitty! come here poof poof wubble wiffle kitty poop, I love you! *makes kissing sounds* yes I do!?!??! *claps hands* Yes I do!!!!!! *slaps lap*

Cat: what, me? what am I... oh... oh..... oh I have to yawn. Oh I hate this. *yawn* Okay. Okay. *yawn* alright, out of my system. *yawn* ah... so, where was I? Man... he looks like an idiot... what's he trying to do? Is he talking to me? Maybe he is... I think i'll go piss on something he owns, that will make him stop trying to communicate with me. Heh, stupid people, I pissed on that shirt he's wearing right now... sad.... *yawn* oh man i'm tired.

[alien space marine]

AHA! Take THAT all you pacifists who said if I ignore it, it'll go away. OB1 and ASM; two of my time-honored nemesis here. I could've only expected it'd be them. I only wish that the poor GI who those insane assholes executed could've been you two.

It waisnt a GI that was beheaded , It was some civilian jewish guy.

Your cat is a nazi joke is funny and couldnt be helped,If I had found some funny cats dressed up like Napoleon I would have picked him instead but I all I could find is Hitler Cat so I am sorry but it was too halirious to resist.

[Dark Jaguar]

Darunia, you can't be serious, you are offended that someone called your CAT a nazi? A cat can't possibly be a nazi, and the ridiculousness of that is exactly why it's funny! It's funny because it's NOT true.

[Great Rumbler]

Some cats are pretty mean, though.

[alien space marine]

His cat kills jewish cats.

[UltraMarioMan]

I don't own a cat but theres a bunch of feral cats in my neighborhood I feed. All of which would kill you and everyone you know if given the chance.

[Great Rumbler]

Are there any feral chickens?

[UltraMarioMan]

No but theres a groundhog as big as a medium sized dog.