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    Tendo City Tendo City: Metropolitan District Ramble City Top Story: Slow news day

     
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    Top Story: Slow news day
    Dark Jaguar
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    #1
    5th April 2004, 6:13 PM
    I'm watching the local news, who knows why, and their top story is a "for the people" piece about a crosswalk with no crossing guard near a local school. Honestly, has it been reduced to this? A minor "problem" that countless schools have?

    So, I made this thread. This thread is a CELEBRATION of the mediocrity of local news! Post your favorite utterly pointless news story from your local area here!
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    Great Rumbler
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    #2
    5th April 2004, 6:21 PM
    "Preschool teacher arrested for cooking meth."

    It may not be pointless, but I felt like posting it since it actually happened at my school.

    Or how about this:

    "Watching television linked to ADD in children."

    That's absurd! I watched tv all the time as a kid and I don't...have...Ooh! Shinies!!
    Sometimes you get the scorpion.
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    OB1
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    #3
    5th April 2004, 6:22 PM
    You're complaining that everything is peaceful there, DJ?
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    Dark Jaguar
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    #4
    5th April 2004, 7:10 PM
    I'm complaining about how utterly pointless the news gets, and how negative it STILL thinks it has to be despite when things are "good enough", which they aren't. Peaceful is one way to say it, but honestly it's all repressed rage against pretty much everything.

    There's a difference between "peaceful" and "desperate obscure uselessness".

    Besides, everyone here jokes about how pointless the news stories are. Simpsons also makes fun of it.
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    alien space marine
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    #5
    5th April 2004, 7:15 PM
    Were I used too live , Someone missing cat was actually conciderd news.
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    Weltall
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    #6
    5th April 2004, 9:15 PM
    Fish-market sting results in 14 arrests
    YOU CANNOT HIDE FOREVER
    WE STAND AT THE DOOR
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    Laser Link
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    #7
    5th April 2004, 10:11 PM
    I remember seeing a headline in the Durango Herald (a town of about 7K) about a skunk with a yogurt container (the big 24oz yogurt size) stuck on its head terrorizing down town!
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    Dark Jaguar
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    #8
    5th April 2004, 11:09 PM
    Haha, and I thought Tulsa had it bad! The question is, was it intended purely and only for comedy, or were there those that actually read it thinking it was a major event?
    "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
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    Geno
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    #9
    6th April 2004, 6:09 AM
    Darn, the subject said TOP story, not Toy Story. I was hoping it'd be about the movie... I liked that movie. :)
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    lazyfatbum
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    #10
    6th April 2004, 12:41 PM
    Rat shit, Bat shit!

    DIRTY OLD TWAT

    sixty-nine assholes - tied in a knot!

    Hooray...!

    LIZARD SHIT...!

    fuck
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