Biographies -- 'OB1'

[lazyfatbum]

Hello, I'm James Lipton.

Genius.

Foresight.

Incomprehensible understanding.

And a master of the English language.

These words have been used to describe a man of Tendo City whom we know as OB1.

OB1 was born on a Saturday, June 20th, 1983. His parents, Robert and Elanor Bo Jackson were German immigrants brought here to find jobs making pastry and shoes for the Irish. Young OB1, seen here, was only 6 years old when he had his first picture taken by his father.



From left to right- Top: Elanor Bo Jackson (mother), Margerine Bo Jackson (17) and Husky Bo Jackson (24) Bottom: Reginald Von Bo Jackson (13), Jackson Bo Jackson (9), Nina Del-Ray Bo Jackson (34) and OB1 Bo Jackson (6).

Decades later, this picture was found on Usenet under the category of "people who would most likely commit serial murder". This picture is the only known photograph to contain both OB1's mother and father.




OB1 would learn quickly about life as he thrust his genius ever so gently in to the world of art. These paintings give us a glimpse in to the masterful creationism of this talented mind.




"The Doggie of ill misfortune" ~OB1 Age 10




"Dead baby needs a blanket" ~OB1 Age 12




"oops" ~OB1 Age 12

The educated art world reveres these works to be both post modernism and classical with a pinch of 'weird'. It is a sight to behold...

Soon, OB1 would leave his family to live in New Jersey where he would find his new goal in life; to build his body to match the state of his mind - to become a muscular master of masculinity! FEAST your EYES!




Left to right: OB1 and his friend Mexican-Hercules

Now, at age 18, Ob1 would find his greatest journey in front of him. He would go out to find the greatest message board of all time. A message board he would spend every second of his free time simply to argue with others, a trait that is sadly not in all of us. But this trait would find OB1 in prison... on several occasions. After arguing with a police officer over a debate regarding astro-turf versus natural grass he would serve his first jail sentence - 785 minutes in the New Jersey Correctional Facility for Gifted People and Pregnant Teenagers. OB1 is now 23.




Sadly, OB1 lost his innocence on this night to a man simply known as Joey 'The Hammer' McRapefist. This is the only known picture of Joey.




While in prison, OB1 was able to find a computer where he would search for minutes upon minutes to find the message board that would end all message boards...

He would find Tendo City not but one day after it had opened to the public more than 5 years ago.

OB1, now 57 years old and father of 8 children (all deceased) uses Tendo City to fulfill his life's quest; To argue at every conceivable post until it, not unlike a dead horse, can no longer be of any use to any human being.

We salute you, OB1, and wish you many happy years of arguing and slacking off while at work.



Daniel 'OB1' Bo Jackson - Born: June 20th, 1983 / Died: ...

[lazyfatbum]

New Information on OB1's current project! A Video Game Studio now in the working stages and soon to sweep the nation by storm!

[Dark Jaguar]

New information:

IQ tests confirm the genius that is OB1, placing his intelligence at around 80 degrees kelvin, which is rather high for a tempurature actually, if you don't mind frozen lungs.

[OB1]

Hahaha, that was funny. I love that company's picture (you included the ABF cry baby!). But your math is way off. Unless this Bigraphy is from... THE FUTURE!!!! *gasp!*

[alien space marine]

:goron:

[Dark Jaguar]

Stop pretending you found it funny OB1, you know you were offended :D.

[Great Rumbler]

Hahaha, that was awesome! :D

[OB1]

Why would I be offended? I argue a lot over here! Sure if ABF didn't post here it'd be a whole lot less frequent, but still. Or are you talking about being raped by a clown? I've never been to prison (or raped), so I didn't find that offensive.

You're weird, DJ.

[Great Rumbler]

It's fun for the whole family! Well...maybe not little Timmy, but he probably wouldn't understand what was so funny anyway.

[Laser Link]

Stop making me laugh in the middle of the computer lab! People are looking at me. But that was awesome.



:shiggy2: <--- Wow, when did this get here?

[Great Rumbler]

It's been around the internet for a while, I think.

[Moiraine]

Awesome work Lazy!!

[EdenMaster]

This demands another read!

More than that, it deserves a sequel!!

[Great Rumbler]

Do one about me!!

[Geno]

*just read it for the first time* :D That's some funny shit.