*ATTN: N_A. Important, reply needed-

[lazyfatbum]

Asian people look weird and smell like baked chicken.

I say this with confidence and understanding of asian people. However, I have recently found myself wondering new questions and seeking answers Questions like; How many teeth do asian people have? Have you ever noticed that no one has seen a baby asian? Can asian people wear boots? And many other questions. My research has been long and tedious, but it has reached a fruition. I will share my current knowledge of asians.

1. These young asian boys seen here are practicing a traditional ceramony where they give flowers to their parents while frowning. this is called; "Mooshuing" or as Americans would call it in its translated form; "Asking for permission to have sex"

[lazyfatbum]

2. As seen here, this cartoon depicts an ancient story which is told during church and BBQ's. In this story, a young woman falls in love with her clothing, and a man with fake eyelashes ignores her, while pretending to be the main character from Shenmue. Shenmue is a popular video game among asians. Translated, "video games" are called "A way to ignore family" in Asianese.

[lazyfatbum]

3. The asian military (known around the world as the largest glove-wearing army) only accepts women and uses them to act like Germans by secretly hiding sausage once a year in parks or apartment buildings for children to find the next morning. Often, the sausage is painted with red dots, these are called "Koume or Koutake", in America we refer to them as 'Skittles'. The women shown here are revered for their ability to wear make up, but still have no visible identification or expression that would link them to being human.

[lazyfatbum]

4. Cloning is an important factor in asian lifestyles. Just as humans will engage in sexual activity, an asian will place a drop of blood in to a computer and will be given a baby through the mail system of asia, this mail system was once considered in America but was shut down after the powerhouse of UPS and Federal Express swept over the baby-mailing market over a thousand years ago in 1954. This ad for the baby-mailing and cloning service was featured on prime time television in Asia during an episode of X-Files. roughly translated, the ad reads "Women are garbage but good for some things, clone many females and live a happy life with aggresive nonconditional sex. No Emotion is Good for the Brain!"

[lazyfatbum]

So, there you have it. My research is being... researched... by scientists at many universities around the world (except for asia) and I will soon release my book entitled "The Bird People" which will contain even more facts about the asian culture. if you have any info about asians, or even think that you might be an asian, please feel free to post your thoughts, ideas or your own research here. Keep in mind that because I am very busy, I will be forced to completely ignore any so-called research that you might post here.

Thank you! And as the asians say; "We cannot grow wheat!"

With sincere regret,
Dr. lazyfatbum PHD in cultural sciences

[Great Rumbler]

I saw a person from Asia one time.

[geoboy]

[Dark Jaguar]

One time I was talking to a person who personified extreme political correctness and, when describing the cultural differences between Americans and the Japanese, they accidently said "...whereas we humans...". I will NEVER let that person live that down...

[alien space marine]

[OB1]

I second that

[Dark Jaguar]

Was that seconded about me or lazy? Oh who am I kidding? It was about Bill Clinton!

[OB1]

At lazy.

[Laser Link]

"Koume or Koutake"

Hahaha. You know you can't slip that past a guy with a Zelda name, right? :D

Nobody wants to admit laughing at that for fear of appearing racist, but I'm used to people making fun of my culture and deliberatly misinterpreting things to make a joke, and I have no problem with that, so I'll admit enjoying it. "We cannot grow wheat!"

[Weltall]

I have absolutely no qualms about admitting this is funny as all hell.

Besides, you have to remember, only Hispanics and Blacks are victims of racism nowadays. Asian people generally are prosperous and successful, therefore they are fair game.