N-Gage: N-Gaged for Success!

[A Black Falcon]

As we all doubtless expected, Nokia has been burning up the sales charts with its brillaiant new N-Gage portable system. With is amazing lineup of games and great features its hardly surprising that the system has sold so well... there were riots in the streets when people learned that their favorite gaming stores had run out of systems. The smashing success of Tomb Raider even spurred calls for a third Tomb Raider movie!

A senior Nokia exec was quoted as saying "PSP? What PSP? We'll own the market by the time it comes out, no question! With our quality and game lineup nothing can stop us!"

http://www.1up.com/article2/0,4364,1358051,00.asp

[Dark Jaguar]

I thought I returned to reality #21 (notations based on order discovered)! *reads article* Oh, sarcasm powerful enough to do... stuff. I get it now. Never mind that first comment...

[A Black Falcon]

Most humor I'm not very good at doing, but sarcasm I can do. :)

... the only problem of course is that often people can't tell when I'm not serious.

[Weltall]

I'm surprised it did THAT well. What a piece of shit that thing is.

[Great Rumbler]

For a rough historical comparison, Atari's famous failed Jaguar console also sold approximately 5,000 units in its first week of release, at a $249 prince point. However, it racked up those sales solely in the metropolitan New York area, where Atari initially released it to test the market.

Hahaha, even the Atari Jaguar sold better!!

[A Black Falcon]

Yeah, isn't it great? Nokia must be proud!

[Great Rumbler]

Nokia PR Guy: Our sales have surpassed that of the Atari Jaguar!

Nokia Shareholder: So...that's good right?

Nokie PR Guy: Uhh....Yes!

[A Black Falcon]

Seriously... this is just so hillarious. Nokia came in with no clue... everyone knew this would be a huge, spectacular flop. Yet they pressed on, spent huge amounts of money... and it flopped. Miserably. Its just so great... Nokia is so incredibly clueless! When you act like they did you're bound to fail...

Now, the question is if they press on with the thing or write it all off as a loss.

[Weltall]

I'm willing to bet that I personally have sold more Game Boy Advances than Nokia has sold all over the world. Seriously.

[A Black Falcon]

6-10,000? 5,000 in the US, 500 in the UK, who knows about the rest of the world. :)

Still... its an amazingly small number for a brand new console. Or rather... it'd be an amazingly small number if it was anything but the N-Gage. :D

[A Black Falcon]

Meanwhile, Nintendo's Cube price cut sends European sales up tenfold.

http://www.planetgamecube.com/news.cfm?a...em&id=4785

[Great Rumbler]

Yay!

[OB1]

Haha, you should see some of those viewo interviews with the N-Gage people that are up at ign. Those people know absolutely nothing about games. It would be like me and GR getting into the shrimping business and expecting to make millions of dollars. I kind of feel sorry for those guys.

[Dark Jaguar]

Well, Forest Gump was retarded and managed to make millions in shrimping. Then again, he knew someone who knew a lot about it.

[OB1]

:stupid:

I knew you'd mention Forrest Gump.

[Dark Jaguar]

Well duh, that's the whole reason you said it anyway.

[OB1]

Actually that's the only thing I could think of. Well, the best thing.

[Dark Jaguar]

Not knocking it, just pointing out your little jab or whatever is flawed in it's very conception by the fact we both knew it would come to that anyway. One of those "you knew I knew you knew I knew" things.

So uh, did anyone here buy one of these door stops?

[A Black Falcon]

They are just so ridiculously clueless... reading articles with or about them can be pretty funny. :)

[A Black Falcon]

http://ngage.ign.com/articles/456/456139p1.html
http://ngage.ign.com/articles/454/454018p1.html

-400,000 units shipped to retailers. Note that retailers aren't consumers. :)
-"good" sales in Europe and Asia
-"we're in this for the long haul"
-no new model soon to fix the many problems
-Sales of several million expected by the end of 2004

[Dark Jaguar]

Well, if they admitted publically that it was a failure WHILE doing it, that would be the final bit of idiocy. Denial of failure WHILE failing is something ALL businesses do. Does it save them... AT ALL? I can't think of any that have, but at the very least it means any investors won't be pulling out quite yet until it's a CONFIRMED failure. After such a spectacular failure, the one in charge will get promoted. You see, the more money is wasted, and the more spectacular the failure, the most succesful the individual who spearheaded it will be. Yes, that's a VERY cynical observation, but looking at many things like this, it seems it's VERY true. Dogbert first noticed this...

That's why the guy trying to make the Phantom is actually GETTING investors, even after the countless failures before this doomed project :D.

[Great Rumbler]

This once again proves that no matter how bad something is doing some will say something positive about.

The Titanic sinks.

Random Person: Only about %50 of the people died. I think that's a pretty good number.

[A Black Falcon]

Pretty much. Their denial continues... though they have some business sense. Note that they haven't released the actual number of sales to consumers, only stores... smart when you know that that number is low. :)

[OB1]

I was laughing about that Midnight Madness thing with some clerks at Gamestop. They also saw that PA strip.

[A Black Falcon]

I bet that it was pretty much just like it was in the strip... :)

[OB1]

They didn't even bother with it over here. They got about two pre-orders for the system.

[A Black Falcon]

Sounds about right... :)

[alien space marine]

The N-gage would need new games and not recycled trash from the psx 5 years ago.

They would need a 1st party support , Some killer aps namely getting somthing from sqauresoft or some other big name developer.

Right now Tony hawk is its only big name game as Tomb Raider is a vanishing out of history, But Gameboy advance has much newer versions of Tony Hawk so it does absolutely nothing.

the N-Gage will fail no one has ever succeeded in challenging nintendo in the hand held department, If you were to beat nintendo you would need alot of sales soon after launch and clearly the N-gage does not.

Sega gamegear was a great handheld system despite a few hardware flaws.

The closest any ever came to challenging nintendo dominance was the Bandai wonderswan color, Its most memorialble games were the special edition final fantasy 1-3 which even made it to number one on the japanese sales index.

[A Black Falcon]

No, I'd say that Game Gear was most certainly the most successful other system. It, after all, came out here too while the Wonderswan was Japan only... the Neo-Geo Pocket Color had some good games too, but SNK's running out of money killed that thing. Wonderswan? It did okay, but best competitor to the GB ever? No way.

[Great Rumbler]

The Wonderswan did rather well in Japan, but it never got released anywhere else. That's the main reason it never was a competitor for the GBA. The Gamegear on the other hand, was released world wide and sold a bit before everyone got tired of the lack of good games and having to use 6 batteries to get only a few hours of gameplay.

The N-gage would need new games and not recycled trash from the psx 5 years ago.

I doubt if even some good games could save the N-Gage.

[A Black Falcon]

It would definitely help, though... when has anyone ever launched a system with NO new games?

[Great Rumbler]

Maybe they wanted to be the first.

[A Black Falcon]

Well they succeeded. Lucky them...

[A Black Falcon]

http://www.spong.com/index.asp?art=5781

Ahaha... Nokia is dumb... :D

[Great Rumbler]

Poor Nokia.

[A Black Falcon]

The GBA was cracked fast too... but playable on other cellphones? That's awful... :D

[OB1]

Hahaha, that's so funny and sad at the same time.

[Great Rumbler]

Nokia hasn't got a clue...

[A Black Falcon]

Nokia is mad and promises to go after the dirty hackers with all the force of the law!

*woman with annoying voice* Don't get mad, get Glad!

[OB1]

I can't stand that Glad woman!

[Dark Jaguar]

Ooh, let's all be hicks who work at fast food restaurants and complain about stupid commercials like we were the first to think of them as stupid! No, let's not, now SHUT UP! :D

Awww, poor Nokia. I'm sure this has resulted in unbelievable losses in sales :D.

[OB1]

[Dark Jaguar]

:D

[OB1]

So... saying that I find someone in a commercial annoying somehow means that I think I'm the first one to make that discovery and that also makes me a hick?

[Dark Jaguar]

No, the correct answer is another smily, not starting an argument.

[Great Rumbler]

[Dark Jaguar]

You win!

[OB1]

You started it!

[Great Rumbler]

No, I started it!!

...

...

...

With MIND bullets!!

[Dark Jaguar]

Like... in The Matrix?