10th January 2009, 3:27 AM
You're on the computer one night and you have that one window open with porn while you try to send out the last of the emails to your colleagues and friends so you can end the night with a good fap and a long nightmare. Suddenly the phone rings, either your alcoholic friend needs a ride or your sister's in jail so against your better judgment you answer the phone anyway.
"Outside in 10 minutes a limousine will arrive. They know who you are."
The decidedly slalkerish and anonymous voice hangs up, obviously it was your drunk friend so you look for your keys. By the time you find your left Rainbow Bright slipper and your ex girlfriend's neon green fuzzy sock for your nude foot the aforementioned limo pulls up.
I'll forgo the part where you try to decipher reason so you decide its best to enter the vehicle anyway. A letter is found on the seat and it reads as follows in lavish handwritten calligraphy.
Hello,
You are a part of a grand experiment that has been funded by a private organization. You are en route to an airport where you will be flown to an undisclosed location. If at any time you feel this venture is not for you, simply tell the driver to pull over.
Sincerely,
Oddly polite and anonymous
Again, blah blah blah, you decide to roll with it. What the hell, it's more interesting than your initial plans. You feel the limo come to a stop after riding for a few hours, snacking on those chocolate spheres filled with fudge amd wrapped in gold leaflets found in champagne glasses which you didn't need since Dom Perignon Vintage 1995 White Gold Jeroboam is just as tasty directly from the bottle. Full of expensive chocolate and bubbly you exit the vehicle to find an unmarked private jet, it's engines kick on as soon as you notice its distinctive silhouette on the tarmac.
Inside is every video game system ever made, including handhelds, including LCD, everything from the very first attempt at asteroids and pong to everything available now world-wide and packed neatly with a surprising amount of space to spare is every single game ever produced for each of these systems. Dont ask me how. Strangely enough every system has a winch hook bolted to its base as if they could be used as ornaments on a very odd Christmas tree.
Looking at your bounty you sit a spell to finish off the second bottle you jacked before leaving the limousine and mull over your favorites. Hell, even the hentai porn SNES carts are here. After flying an hour you encounter a brief shuddering jolt of turbulence which releases the oxygen mask from the compartment above you.
Inside the mask is yet another letter. The internal atmospheric lights flicker in their death throes as you hear the familiar sound of a plane rushing to its demise at zero elevation. You open it to find a scribbled message in what seems like hastily written quill.
Hello,
Our apologies, this plane will crash in 36.5 seconds. There is a parachute under your seat. The vest you will put on will take you 25 seconds to fully fasten which leaves you with 5 seconds to open the emergency door and exit the plane before it gets dangerously close to the water. The vest has no pockets but 3 latches and you may attach 3 video game systems to them using their hooks and you may only take one game for each system to either fit in its cartridge slot or within its disk tray. You have spent 3 seconds reading this and that leaves you 3 seconds to decide on which systems to bring. The 5 milliseconds are just a joke, really.
Sinscerely,
Still polite and anonymous
So:
What 3 systems do you bring.
What 3 games do you get for them.
You have 3 seconds (well, technically, you actually have 8.5 but that emergency door looks like a bitch to open).
"Outside in 10 minutes a limousine will arrive. They know who you are."
The decidedly slalkerish and anonymous voice hangs up, obviously it was your drunk friend so you look for your keys. By the time you find your left Rainbow Bright slipper and your ex girlfriend's neon green fuzzy sock for your nude foot the aforementioned limo pulls up.
I'll forgo the part where you try to decipher reason so you decide its best to enter the vehicle anyway. A letter is found on the seat and it reads as follows in lavish handwritten calligraphy.
Hello,
You are a part of a grand experiment that has been funded by a private organization. You are en route to an airport where you will be flown to an undisclosed location. If at any time you feel this venture is not for you, simply tell the driver to pull over.
Sincerely,
Oddly polite and anonymous
Again, blah blah blah, you decide to roll with it. What the hell, it's more interesting than your initial plans. You feel the limo come to a stop after riding for a few hours, snacking on those chocolate spheres filled with fudge amd wrapped in gold leaflets found in champagne glasses which you didn't need since Dom Perignon Vintage 1995 White Gold Jeroboam is just as tasty directly from the bottle. Full of expensive chocolate and bubbly you exit the vehicle to find an unmarked private jet, it's engines kick on as soon as you notice its distinctive silhouette on the tarmac.
Inside is every video game system ever made, including handhelds, including LCD, everything from the very first attempt at asteroids and pong to everything available now world-wide and packed neatly with a surprising amount of space to spare is every single game ever produced for each of these systems. Dont ask me how. Strangely enough every system has a winch hook bolted to its base as if they could be used as ornaments on a very odd Christmas tree.
Looking at your bounty you sit a spell to finish off the second bottle you jacked before leaving the limousine and mull over your favorites. Hell, even the hentai porn SNES carts are here. After flying an hour you encounter a brief shuddering jolt of turbulence which releases the oxygen mask from the compartment above you.
Inside the mask is yet another letter. The internal atmospheric lights flicker in their death throes as you hear the familiar sound of a plane rushing to its demise at zero elevation. You open it to find a scribbled message in what seems like hastily written quill.
Hello,
Our apologies, this plane will crash in 36.5 seconds. There is a parachute under your seat. The vest you will put on will take you 25 seconds to fully fasten which leaves you with 5 seconds to open the emergency door and exit the plane before it gets dangerously close to the water. The vest has no pockets but 3 latches and you may attach 3 video game systems to them using their hooks and you may only take one game for each system to either fit in its cartridge slot or within its disk tray. You have spent 3 seconds reading this and that leaves you 3 seconds to decide on which systems to bring. The 5 milliseconds are just a joke, really.
Sinscerely,
Still polite and anonymous
So:
What 3 systems do you bring.
What 3 games do you get for them.
You have 3 seconds (well, technically, you actually have 8.5 but that emergency door looks like a bitch to open).
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