Going to the Netherlands

[lazyfatbum]

I'm going in about 24 hours. Anybody want a souvenier?

I'll be in a hotel that was described as 'Just minutes from the Sex Museum!" called the Flipper. Yes, the dolphin. In fact, it has a giant dolphin on the hotel.

I dunno if Minka will recognize me. I dont even know if she'll show up. :D But I go, divorce papers in my hand.........

......My hand..........

At the end of all things.

The horror.... the horror.

I embrace it.

[lazyfatbum]

btw, is anyone here around the Minneapolis/Saint Paul international airport? it's in minnesota and i'm gonna be there for 8 hours waiting for my flight while the government looks through my shit

i also just found out it's gonna be like 3 degrees outside. So if you're around come on over, free parking, balloons for mom, hotdogs only one dollar.

[alien space marine]

Don't forget to pack some wooden shoes ; Mayo for your fries; Send us pictures.

[lazyfatbum]

Of course! :D

Hey is that the real hotel? That's the street its on, but what's a burgerstraat? and why is the hotel named after a TV show? :D

[DMiller]

I'm a few hours away from Minneapolis so not close enough to just drop by. It's kind of weird that you are flying to Minneapolis to get to the Netherlands but I guess that happens a bit when flying internationally. Good luck, and hopefully things go well...or as well as they can go.

[Dark Jaguar]

Are you travelling by magical flying car? Watch out for the child catcher.

[alien space marine]

Do they like have dolphins to swim with?

[lazyfatbum]

im in minneapolis! or however its spelled, this keyboardis really messed up i think someone put lotion all over it...... i cant imagine public masturbation but then again i can. i 'm talking to a lot of dutch people, they think im really cute and very dumb which is a compliment. i made the last part up. i'm around g6 where the klm plane aerives but i have to wait till 7 before i can get on it. or well, like 630 so its 230 now.... i hear its like 3 degrees in holland so thats gonna suck. i dont have clothes for that kinda weather... i have a scarf tho which makes me very womany but i like it how it flows out and reaches at people like a sentient tentacle. that reminds me, i met a girl going to kuwait who says she thinks her dad is being held hostage and a girl who helps make fake katanas for parties so people can pretend to kill themselves or eachother. i never heard of a seppeku party but that sounds like fin in a morbid way. well it says my minutes are almost up and i want to go watch another plane take off, btw its like 10 degrees outside. i went out to smoke and my backpack got icicles.

oh and someone got arrested for bringing nunchucks on the plane. who brings nunchucks on a plane? btw william, i lost your nunchucks.

[alien space marine]

pack some wooden clogs so you can go in style

[lazyfatbum]

gah!! i dunno where i am! :D i was propositioned for sex! i was run over by tiny black people on sissy bikes with banana seats! i have had no contact with minka yet, we are meeting tomorrow at around 1 in the afternoon at a station, i think its a train station. i hope she likes the new and improved bum, there's so much to tell her!! did anyone hear from ryan? I dont see him on MSN. n-man/ did anything happen with that woman pooshappy (or whatever)? okay the cafe is telling me to go, you wont believe the TV here, its all porn and CNN! will update laters! *gets run over by bikes*

[alien space marine]

try not to fuck any transsexuals

[Sacred Jellybean]

Unless they're FTM and really just look like a cute tomboyish chick.

[N-Man]

lazy,

Apparently you can't contact people on Ebay if you're not actively dealing with them (for your "security"; really, so you can't sell shit without going through Ebay and paying them their share) so I wasn't able to respond to poohswhatever. I put the auction back up with only the stuff they wanted (for one thou) but no bids yet.

[lazyfatbum]

thank you n-man, looks like it finished with no bids again but I got a lot of messages asking me to sell it cheaper. :D

well, I met Marieke finally. We only talked for about ten minutes and she kinda suddenly ran off. She didn't want to hug me so I respected that, hurt like hell though. My brain was all emotional thumbs so i was of course retarded. But she told me that she has no love for me and seeing her say that to me felt so surreal... it was a year of hard work to get there and I couldn't relax to just enjoy the sights, like museums or whatever, but I did get to know the people really well. I spent most of my time there on the streets just exploring and talking. Believe people when they say the dutch are weird, weird doesn't begin to describe it. All in all meeting Marieke made the hard work and the trip worth it. I wish things were different and she would be willing to offer me a second chance or.... millionth chance, depending on your view. Although I guess technically it was the first time we broke up. It was just a big break up.

Now its switch gears and focus on California. It's going to be weird because I always imagined that she'd be with me, but instead of doing it the "family, pets in the car road trip method" i'm going commando style, like an editing and sound engineering ninja. All I have to do now is save up some more mony again.

some things that happened:

I was hanging out in front a snackbar where I got some fries (apparently its one of the best places to go and I couldn't even find a name of what it is) and I found myself talking to a group of people around my age. We talked about relationships, Marieke and they were all curious about America. I brought up that i'm divorcing and one guy said "oh ja okay, I love divorce". I laughed and said why's that? and he answered "Because of all the new pussy!" Which was very Chappelle so I said "But I like the old pussy!"

him: nah! let the old pussy go, new pussy is best!

me: bullshit

him: *sings in opera* NEW PUSSY!!!!!

me: *sings in opera* I love the old pussy!

him: *in opera* Leave the old pussy!

me: I feel like an X-rated disney movie

him: okay! *sings* it means no worries... for the rest of your days!!! its problem free philosophy!!!

me: ......Akuna-new-pussy?

me and him: *singing* Akuna-new-pussy!! aint no passing craze!!!!

one guy in the group: *laughs and vomits*

This happened the first night I went out exploring:

Guy on the street: *has a suitcase* hallo. Amerikan?

me: yeah, how'd you guess?

Guy: u look lost *smiles*

me: I probably am. I'm looking for ....unger....flavel.... straat... for an internet cafe.

Guy: oh ja, jost keep walking vat way.

Me: cool

Guy: Ja okay, vould you like charlie?

me: waht

drug pusher: charlie... cocains?

me: ......no

drug pusher: ja okay then.

me: ...........................ok

Drug pusher: I have X

me: who doesn't. No thanks.

drug pusher: You want sex?

me: not with you.

drugpusher/pimp: I have vomen for u

me: okay. Really, no. And.... no

drug pusher/pimp: if change mind u tell me

me: yeah

drug pusher/pimp: .........u vant car?

me: you sell cars too

drug pusher/pimp/car salesman: ja

me: ...

drug pusher/pimp/car salesman: i get u smartcar only 600 euro

me: .......do you have a laptop with a wificard for sale?

him: no

me: See, that's funny.

him: ?

me: how much would it cost to watch 12 women do a horse?

him: 1200 euro

me: *laughing* I had to piss but I think I just swallowed it

him: ja, pissing, 60 euro, she pee on you?

me: OKAY, bye! let me know if you get a laptop for sale

him: come back 1 hour, I have a laptop to zell. I zell cheap to u I like u.

me: k *run*

In America it goes like this.

drug pusher: yogetthefuckoutmahfacebitch100dollasshit

you: youcrazywitchoBULLshitmothafukatellinmebout100dollas

drug pusher: *kills you* aintnowalmartmuthafuka

and that's the 14 year olds in the burbs. Everyone I met in holland is like.... kinda child-like in a weird way. Ever spend the night at someone's house when you were younger and their parents were on vacation so you just went nuts and did anything you wanted to? It's like that except the whole city.

[Dark Jaguar]

Haha! The Netherlands are so poor they can't afford uppercase letters!

[lazyfatbum]

lmao you have an odd way of seeing things, I didn't even realize I did that.

*YES I DID ITS A TEST, YOU FAILED*

[Dark Jaguar]

Ever have that nagging thought that maybe you don't experience emotions the same way as everyone else, then get distracted and eat an entire box of christmas wreath spice cookies in 15 minutes while typing a response on a forum?

[lazyfatbum]

i put up some pics on my myspace of the room I was in. I was planning on taking more pics but I just couldn't really get in to it. Next time tho will be different (read: less heart breaking)

http://www.myspace.com/sean_bradshaw

[Dark Jaguar]

Huh, you have a myspace page? Did you do it as an ironic thing or what?

[lazyfatbum]

sort of. I got it for the hope of being able to communicate with a certain someone.

[alien space marine]

Id go to your site just to hear "America fuck yeah".

[lazyfatbum]

I was celebrating my return to America, it was a toss up between that or the national anthem in rap. I think I knew the guy that was in my background...