15th September 2006, 5:43 AM
IN THE YEAR 2178:
And new to Super Plasma Disc this season, the re-release of Star Wars: the original trilogy! In this 109th re-release of everyone's cherished classic, George Lucas V has authorized the restoration of three seconds' footage previously lost to the cutting room floor!
"Yea, we were like going through the trash, and we saw a few frames of old film, and we like played it, (and stuff), and turns out that its rejected footage we meant to throw away, but you can sort of make out this blurry figure walking by really quick, and we think that it's either Han or Chewbacca, but we're not sure, so we decided to slap it into the middle Episode II and VI, and then we repackaged it in even shinier, glossier cardboard! We're rushing it to the shelves for Christmas!"
And there you have it~!
Reporting live from the future, Barry S. Chizzlewitt, Fox News
And new to Super Plasma Disc this season, the re-release of Star Wars: the original trilogy! In this 109th re-release of everyone's cherished classic, George Lucas V has authorized the restoration of three seconds' footage previously lost to the cutting room floor!
"Yea, we were like going through the trash, and we saw a few frames of old film, and we like played it, (and stuff), and turns out that its rejected footage we meant to throw away, but you can sort of make out this blurry figure walking by really quick, and we think that it's either Han or Chewbacca, but we're not sure, so we decided to slap it into the middle Episode II and VI, and then we repackaged it in even shinier, glossier cardboard! We're rushing it to the shelves for Christmas!"
And there you have it~!
Reporting live from the future, Barry S. Chizzlewitt, Fox News
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST