The next big thing

[CoconutCommander]

Ok. That was a bitch to read. I am going to have to handle this one point-by-point.

You are a blasphemous liar

About the Wendy's? No. The dollar menu is really the only menu worth ordering anything off of at Wendy's. I mean look at it. Great food, great price. About other things? You will never catch me in a lie, you may catch me in an exaggeration of the truth. You may catch me omitting truths. You may catch me telling the truth. You will never catch me in a lie, because I DO NOT LIE.

and a puppet of a waning dictatorship

I pull the strings, baby. *gives them a good yank for show*

I saw you at the Future World Oppressors Convention in Arkansas last year, you were the one passing out cow boy hats and detailed "Maps of the Stars" to include George Wendt and Shelley Long. Blaming them for the inception of remote guided aircraft that will one day turn on us.

Ya, so what? I was there but I wasn't selling anything. I bet you didn't stay long enough to see my presentation with thought to be deceased William Cooper on my involvement with the planetary shadow government and our tactics of using Harvard University and silent weapons to control the stock market and credit bureaus which will eventually be the linchpin in my plan of bringing the planetary shadow government into the light with yours truely at the helm.

When it was you, in fact, that used your dirty European money laundering scheme (the one you framed Bebe Neuwirth on who is still in the German Gefängnis thanks to you) to produce films like Flight of the Navigator and The Explorers

You have complaints about these films? And as for Bebe... that reference is too obscure for me.

to push your interests of young boy pilots to the Air Force

Why would I want anymore guys to join this weeny roast? The ratio is so against men, I believe it's 10 males for every female.

so you could legally marry your French prostitute man-child; Bradley Le Pitt (the French assassin known as Yoplait of Tears with Death on the Bottom).

Fun Fact: Brad Pitt's name appears as William Bradley Pitt on his driver's license.

I also happen to know about a certain plan of yours to inflate Kirstie Ally to gargantuan proportions and use her massive weight to shift the Earth in to a direct path with comet Y-66

That isn't me. She is doing that on her own.

"Ted Danson" that was named after your CO-STAR.

Yes we briefly worked together in both the TV movie Spider-man: The Dragon's Challenge and again in Saving Private Ryan

That's right, CC... or should I say... Clifford Clavin. You never got the Emmy you deserved so much, and now you'll make us all hate the other cast members of Cheers

Nope not Cliff Clavin, and I do have an emmy, 2 actually. And another one for musical composition, but I don't count that one.

before you kill us all in your sick twisted plot.

...well, you got one thing right.