27th May 2005, 8:39 PM
I saved the text of my post... and yes, I got purged as well.
Quote:Mace Windu is the best Jedi Ever.
Samuel L. Jackson: YOU JUST DON'T FUCKIN KNOW, GHOSTFACE. IMA PREPERATION-H YO PAIN-IN-DA-ASS ASS. 4 OUT OF FIVE JIVE-ASS MUTHAFUCKAS PREFER ME STICKIN MY BLACK BULLWHIP SO FAR UP YO ASS IT BE KNOCKIN YOUR TEETH OUT. DAT SHIT BUILT FORD TOUGH, AND IT EVEN BE DA OFFICIAL CREDIT CARD OF NASCAR MUTHAFUCKA. I CUT BLACK DICKS TOO, DEPENDS ON MY MOOD. I HATE JAMIE FOXX. LOOK HOW SEXY THE BITCH IS. LOOK LIKE A WHITE BLACK MAN. SEE MY FOREHEAD? I'M ALL FRONTAL SKULL, AND IT LOOKS MY NOSE HOLDS IT UP. PUT ME ON THE COVER OF NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. I THROW SPEARS AT YO DICK. YALL BE A BUNCH OF WHITE SOCCER-PLAYIN MUTHAFUCKAS WHO WATCH SOAP OPERAS AND DRIVE SATURNS AND FUCK WITH SMALL CONDOMS. WELL PEEP DIS SHIT MUTHAFUCKA, I USE FUCKIN TRASH BAGS FOR JIMMIE CAPS BITCH. YEAH DAS RIGHT, DON'T GET MAD, GET GLAD. LISSEN UP BIRDSHIT, I DO THE DEW AND OH THANK HEAVEN FOR SEVEN MUTHAFUCKIN 11 AND ALL DAT, BUT I EDUCATE BY TAKIN SOME FUCKIN CLASS ONLINE AT STRAYER UNIVERSITY WHERE I HAD DIS WACK-ASS OLD WHITE CROSS BETWEEN AUNT JEMIMA AND ADOLF HITLER PROFESSOR AND MUTHAFUCKA FAILED MY ASS CAUSE MY BITCHIN TERM PAPER BE CALLED 'GOD DAMN THAT'S WHITE: A STUDY OF MARRIAGES AND WHY THEY FAIL".
Quote:
"God Damn, That's White: A Study of Marriages and Why They Fail"
By Samuel L. Jackson
Chapter One:
Ya'll trippin first off cuz yo ass is white. White people cant do nothin right specially marriage, check out my motha fuckin diamgram *diagram shows white man with question mark above head holding a small ham* yeah, true that. Now watch my abs, mmmmmm. You cant see em cuz this a term paper.
Chapter Two:
My abs ripped bitch.
Chapter 11:
Touring europe yo check this, european checks all wantin the black snake but you gotsta let in slow otherwise they get all ripped up and die. Look like an old dead dog head.... make me sick. See my diagram shit *diagram shows crying european woman* yeah, and now imma get my purple light saber, watch my moves *drops it* aww hell.... damn penis fingers. Lemme tell you bout them
Chapter 12: My penis fingers be ripped bitch
I DRIVE A NASCAR JUST TO PISS OF YO WHITE DICK OFF, MAKE IT COME OUT THEM SLAM SPEAR IN YO DICK *small bone through nose* LOOK AT MY NOSE CRACKA, LOOK AT MY NOSE I FUCK YOU ROUGH. YO DICK TOUCH ME AND I CUT YO WHITE SHIT OFF
Torrence Gretson III: I HEAR YOU'VE HAD A SPOT OF TROUBLE GRETSON
Geoffrey Alan Gretson: INDEED, I WAS JAILED FOR FUCKING A PUPPY
Torrence: REALLY GRETSON, WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
Geoffrey: IT WAS COLD AND DAMP AND I COULDN'T GET OUT
Torrence: NO GRETSON, NOT THE JAIL, THE PUPPY
Geoffrey: I SAY, I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PUPPY, CHAP
Torrence: RATHER.
Geoffrey: I SAY IT WAS LIKE FUCKING A DEAD INFANT BUT WITH LESS HAIR
Torrence: WAS ITS BARK WORSE THAN ITS BITE
Geoffrey: I SHALL LET YOU KNOW ONCE I AM FINISHED
Torrence: GRETSON THE FUCKING PUPPY IS MENTALLY RETARDED
Geoffrey: WHAT DO YOU THINK TURNED ME ON SO BADLY?
Torrence: OH DEAR GRETSON LOOK ITS DOING THE SNOOPY DANCE
Geoffrey: I KNOW IT DOES THAT ROUGHLY ONCE AN HOUR
Samuel L. Jackson: I dunno what sorta wet dreams you ladies is havin over here but my lightsaber be purple as a mothafucka and... god damn that's white, you fucking degenerate ass-honkey. One time this bitch come up to me an ax me "Are you Samuel L. Jackson?" I lookit that bitch and be like aw naw muthafucka, you is not talking to me with that marshmallow honky fuckin gibberish. Hell NAW bitch my name ain't Samuel L. Jackson, my name be S-Jizz and ya'll best not forget it. Now, scuse me while I go slap a bitch *grabs keys to a mini cooper* Star Wars is da shit muthafucka, not that fuckin star trek bullshit. I met scotty and muthafucka was like "I canna hold her together Captain" and I'm all like "muthafucka step aside while I show yo ass how to fix the structural integrity field, ya cracker ass scottish McRetard".
Quote:
New, Scottish McRetard! The meat is on the outside of the bun! Commercial: *upside down camera films a young girl peeing while the camera man giggles and then cries because his fart smelled too bad* Print ad: "I licke Mcdoonaelds alot becuz they 're ' goed" *picture of a young girl peeing*
print ad several months later* "sory.... forget to shoew yuo the new ham boger....... *picture of young girl peeing*
*several months later* im sory i;m not verry goed at thies...... *no picture, but in the upper left hand corner, the words 'my fart is the worst' are printed backwards*
New commercial: hi!!!!! my name is TARANCE i am not "weetadad" like you all think OK and i am working for MCDONALS to sell.... show people...... the new hamburga......... ITS CALLED MCRETARD BUT ITS NOT DUM....... *on the street interviews* boy: HELLO..... DO YOU LIKE MCDONALS....... Man: ......no Boy: OK so try this and tell me you still dont like them but dont really say that or im fired....
Man: *takes a bite* ahem..... *cough* ....hey, this is great..... boy: yay!!!!! now i just need four more of these and we can EDIT THEM..... I KNOW!! WE CAN USE THIS MAN FOR ANOTHER...... *dramatically counts on fingers* THREE TIMES.......
Man: but...... people will see...... that i'm the same guy.......... boy: IM NOT DUM! I....... *takes a huge stretch to build momentum to hit the man, then hits himself instead. Crying, runs away while still holding th microphone that is connected to the camera. He quickly is pulled down when he runs out of cable* GOD EVERYTHING IS WRONG TODAY!!!!!!! I HATE MCDONALS!!!!!
Captain KirK: Scotty! I'm.....................loving it...
Spock: I am incapable of loving it. Therefore, I am merely appreciating its existence.
Uhura: ....I'M AN INDEPENDENT BLACK WOMAN SHO NUFF I'm sorry, your orders, captain?
Sulu: i bringee shippee into warpio speedu! kanagasawaruuuu!! *hentai*
Chekov: I mean fucking a dude, I sound as russian as mickey god damn mouse
Mickey Mouse: MY BALLS:(
Tuvok: Standing by to beam up the Extra Crispy
Spock: .............I so banged Uhura, and that's the proof!
Tuvok: I'm a black vulcan, so I have to grapple between logic and splittin white pussy.
Sulu: THIS IS FOR HIROSHIMA, WHITE DEVIL *runs around wearing nothing except a picture of George Foreman scotch taped to crotch*
James Sunderland: Yeah das right, I killed my woman, bitch was all sick and shit so I stuffed a pillow down her fuckin throat. i was sprised she died on that on account of me shovin my dick down there four hundred times, but the bitch was sick...God damn white women always so fuckin pale
Samuel L. Jackson: So like, dem sith was like all up in my shit right? So I has to pull out my muthafuckin purple pimpstick and go all fuckin jedi on them bitches
Princess Twila: he don pop my cherry on national TV icon_sad.gif shit I was happy that Mr. Sam Fuckin Jackson was all up in my shit, but damn... I was savin it for jabba...
Sam Jackson: I got some ass, too.
Yoda: your mom I did. Hmm! twice!
Luke: lolololololo..... I kissed my sister once :/
Qui Gon Jin: ...... I dont think I did a single piece of booty......
Jar Jar Binks: lmfao..... even I got some LOL
Anakin: ......that was a dewback.... and wasn't it dead?
Jar Jar: shut up icon_sad.gif stupid americans icon_sad.gif
Sulu: captaineeeeeee! I have raisened the shieldees! now weeeeeeee go to warpeeeeeeeee! *small baby with penis in ass*
Kirk: That's fucking disgusting! *eats feces directly out of Uhura's asshole with a stainless steel spork*
Wesley: icon_neutral.gif i'm so telling icon_neutral.gif
Wesley: oh wait, right. Not here yet icon_smile.gif sorry..... icon_smile.gif *becomes sperm* *flies through the air, and enters the penis of Mr. Crusher*
Mr. Crusher: wtf was that?
Beverly: what happened babe?
Mr. Crusher: I dont.... know.... it was like a reverse ejaculation.....
Beverly: i'll get the pills
Mr. Crusher: No, dont... it was just weird...... *suddenly bursts in to flames* OH FUCK
beverly: OMFG *quickly throws oil on to Mr. Crusher* SHIT THAT WAS DUMB
Mr. Crusher: *dead* HELP!!!
Beverly: DAMN! UM..... DAMN! *throws salt on to Mr. Crusher*
Mr. Crusher: hahahahaha icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif are you fucking retarded?? icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
Wesley sperm: *flies out of dick and becomes a small boy* I'm the reason there's no underage boys on other explorer class starships icon_biggrin.gif holy shit dad's a piece of toast!
Mr. Crusher Toast: GGGGGAHHH!!!!!!!!!! *flaming death with nice effects, loud screaing, pain, etc* *capt.
Picard runs in* Fucking hell! *uses bald head to unbrith Wesley and Beverly to safety*
Beverly: You saved us Captain Picard!
Captain Picard: I fucking know it, I pwned that shit b/c i'm 1337 bitch
Mr. Crusher: *still dying*
Capt. Picard: beverly, many years from now, when you're older but still hot. you'll be on my ship with your bitch son. I will rape him repeatedly and he will enjoy it, so will I. Then we'll fuck a few times but never get anywhere with it and you would have completely forgotten about Mr. Crusher who is now the stuff you scrape off of grills after years of use
Beverly: *sobs* I just want to be loved
Capt. Picard I know bitch but your fault for being fat *hits Beverly as hard as he can*
Beverly: Thank you..... Jean Luc
*giant heart appears over Neo Tokyo*
Sulu: LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IN THE BUTT! UHUAUHA! *hand drawn infant porn*
Production Note: That episode never made it to broadcast in the extremely rare 40th season ender that is only available in Kyoto and dubbed in Swahilli
Torrence Gretson: SAY GRETSON THAT'S RATHER LIVID BROUGHT ME TO TEARS IT DID
Geoffrey Gretson: YOU DONT SAY?? TEARS???
Torrence: NO, I WAS JOKING. IT WAS A FUCKING BABY
Geoffrey: GOOD GOD GRETSON YOU PASS THEM LIKE THEY'RE NOTHING! *punt*
Torrence:I SAY GRETSON IS THIS THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE?
Geoffrey: RATHER, WOT. IT'S RATHER NICE.
Torrence: NICE MY TROUSERS, LOOK AT THOSE WARP ENGINES WILL YOU GRETSON?
Geoffrey: I SAY, THOSE ARE TOP HOLE, CHAP
Torrence: BOLLOCKS GRETSON, I SAY THEY RATHER LOOK LIKE GIANT PHALLUSES
Geoffrey: PHALLUSES YOU SAY OLD BEAN? WHY I'LL BE A COCKNEY'S BAD TOOTH
Torrence: GRETSON YOU DO HAVE SUCH A WAY WITH WORDS. NO WONDER YOU'RE FUCKING JEWISH
Geoffrey: HA HA I SAY
Hans: Welcome to Adolf's House of Jewburgers. Can I take your order?
Paul: I'd like a number 7, the Auschwitz BLT, with special sauce and gold fillings
Hans: That will be a number 7. Would you like Arbeit Macht Fries with that?
Paul: Jawohl. And a coke or something.
Admiral Ramrod: oh yeah bitch, swallow my Pearl Harbor, that's right. Ohh yeah
Mindy McGerman: Oy, you are so large and strong, herr Amerikan *gags*
Announcer: HELP THE WAR EFFORT. BUY WAR BONDS.
Announcer: If you don't... *picture of Hitler ass-raping Statue of liberty*
Torrence: GRETSON WOT LET ME TRY TRY
Geoffrey: WOT THE FIRE THING??
Torrence: RIGHT, DO IT NOW! RIGHT! *fart* DEAR JESUS AM I ON FIRE YET? I FLOATED AN AIR BISCUIT, DAMNED THE DENNY'S I HEARD 50 CENT WORKS THERE
GeoffreyI SAY ARE YOU STARTING A NEW JOKE?
Torrence: MAKING DISCUSSION
Geoffrey: REALLY GRETSON, I FEEL AS A WHORE DOES
Torrence: LIKE WOT
Geoffrey: DEAD AND 12 YEARS OLD
Torrence: LOOK! I'M A DAMNED BABY DISPENSER! LIKE PEZ EXCEPT ITS ALIVE!
Geoffrey: NOW GRETSON HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS NEWEST STAR WARS FILM?
Torrence: I HAVE GRETSON
Geoffrey: IT TURNS OUT THAT PADME INDEED DIES
Torrence: THE TEENAGE QUEEN?
Geoffrey: RIGHT
Torrence: GOD DAMN GRETSON WHAT IS IT?
Geoffrey: THAT LUCAS FELLOW
Torrence: YES, CONTINUE
Geoffrey: WELL IF HE'S NOT FRENCHING HIS SISTER HE'S SNATCHING INFANTS RIGHT OUT THE WOMB OF THE DESCEASED HELLO! ME THINKS I CAN START AN ENTIRE LABOR FORCE!
Torrence: I'LL GET THE YARN!
Geoffrey: I'LL CALL CHINA!
Torrence: DEAR ME GRETSON I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND ME WILLIE IS SORE
Geoffrey: THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS A PUMPKIN, NOT HILLARY CLINTON
Torrence: YOU DON'T SAY GRETSON. IS THAT WHY THEY ALL LOOK ASIAN?
Geoffrey: NO I BELIEVE THAT WAS THE DOING OF PAPA SMURF OLD CHAP
Torrence: I HAD INTERCOURSE WITH PAPA SMURF GRETSON?
Geoffrey: HAVE YOU WONDERED WHY I FEED YOU LAXATIVES?
Torrence: WHY NO GRETSON, I THOUGHT IT WAS BIRTH CONTROL
Geoffrey: IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY IT MAY BE
SAkira Yamaoka: I SHALL DIE A KAMIKAZE *camera pans out to show Miyamoto flying towards the USS Yorktown, piloting Bowser's Flying Clown-Face Teacup*
Sulu: AHAHA captain-san I am making much prepare for your coffeeiu!!! It is very percolating! MAKE HASTE FOR MANY COFFEE YES COFFEE IS VERY READY WITH MUCH SUGAR GOOD MILK (breast) READY FOR CAPTAION-SAN....... *bows dramatically, porn falls out of pocket* what I tell you ! porn during work WHAT! *tear drop appears overhead*
Fluffy bear: *sweat bubbles*
Sulu........... i'm sorry........... hahahaha! *giant moistened tentacles appear from behind* I SEX!!!!
Ponies: WE'RE SOOOOO GOING TO FUCK OVER THIS CAKE AND COOKIES, FUCK THEM FUCK THEM FUCK THEM FUCK THEM, POOP ON THE SCONES GOD DAMMIT!
Samuel L. Jackson: When muthafuckas named me Jedi, they said to make a lightsaber. Well bitch I ain't about makin no god damn thing and callin it by a pussy ass name like lightsaber *pulls his out* This here's my Badass Supafly Royal Purple Muthafuckin Jedi Cut-Yo-Ass Bitchsticka Deluxe. It all decked out in gold an shit. I call it Charlene, muthafucka, and I done cut a hundred bitches wid it. See I be datin them....... then I be kill them. That's how the Jackson is, bitch. I date you then I kill you. Like Tyson. *makes gang signs*
Canada: Did you know we have a government too??
Canadian: *looks at the sun* ...i wonder if there's beer on the sun.....
Texan: *humping an infant* ....I wonder if there's infants on the sun...
New Yorker: I fucking hate infants and I fucking hate the sun *kills a small boy*
Shaneequah: *looks at the sun* shit muthafucka I wonder if dat where Raqueef be hidin
Raqueef: aww hell nigga I tried to hit that but I fell in, found some tacos and a can of aqua net. Hell, I aint neva seen so many bottles of mayonaise in my life, like lookin in to a grocery store for jabba the hutt took me 3 days to get out of that vagina, I said god damn
Shaneequah: GET BACK IN MY UTERUS RAQUEEF, I NEED AN INTERNAL MASSAGE
Raqueef: *uses a band aid to hang himself* WHY THIS SHIT DONT WORK!!! what I wouldn't do for some fuckin rope!
Alabama: *crying* we've been waiting so long icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif thank you Raqueef icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif *lynches Raqueef*
Raqueef: aww hell yeah! try to swallow me now woman! *dies* fuck yeah!
Geoffrey: GRETSON, I SO DO LOVE "ROOTS!"
Samuel L. Jackson: Oh shit muthafucka that white bitch Anakin be after mah ass again, i gots to split like Aniston and Pitt. That shit rhymes, muthfucka. WINDU OUT
YOU CANNOT HIDE FOREVER
WE STAND AT THE DOOR
WE STAND AT THE DOOR