17th January 2005, 5:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 17th January 2005, 5:20 PM by Great Rumbler.)
In the not too distant future:
Quote:Electronic Arts broke the calm of a national holiday today by announcing a licensing deal of epic proportions. EA reached a deal with God [and possibly Satan] that for the next one billion years, EA will be the sole licensee of the human body as well as written/spoken words, which will include console, handheld, PC, wireless games, and real life.
The news is the second blow to current license-holder The Human Race. It recently lost the right to publish any kind of game using the Human Mind and Free Will license when EA scooped that license up. Now, it loses the right to the Everything Else brand as well.
In a statement released just minutes ago, the world's largest game publisher [and supreme dictator] said, "The relationship will include established EA franchises--which will be enhanced by telecast, print and brain-wave content--as well as new sucky games to be published by EA based on whatever we *expletive deleted* want."
The agreement is for one billion years "with an option to never terminate under any certain conditions," the statement said. The agreement gives the publisher "exclusive first rights" to all content for any games.
God [and possibly Satan] was unavailable for comment.
Sometimes you get the scorpion.