11th January 2005, 3:16 PM
This just in.
Brian hasn't been seen or heard in 12 years, but in "Girls Gone Wild Vol.33: Tex-Mex-Sex" (1994), he can be clearly seen behind the latino 'lip-ink' lesbians next to the midget slingshot in the dine-in/carry-out fajita restaurant scene. That restaurant was under investigation since 1987 for using cockroach eggs as a salsa and sending it nationwide via online ordering which lead to the 'Great Roach Egg Poisoning of 97' in which dozens of celebrities were crossed out, or even sickened. George Farking of the FBI has headed the investigation since its inception and was the one responsible for uncovering Brian in the tape.
Chris Farking gave this statement to the press regarding Brian's appearance in the tape in August of 1995;
"I dont know where he is now and I think he's the one who made the cockroach egg salsa. I reccomend that the entire nation put their blame on Brian for anything that is causing them stress in their lives. This is big time, ladies. Big time."
"You have to learn how to control your nation's expectations.", added Chris, who was then gunned down by Iraqi children during a transvestite parade through central Afganistan.
Harry Knowles, from aintitcool news, advertized the video on his site on June 2001, giving it 3 stars and a handjob. But it was later reported by Celebrity Justice in 2003 that Harry Knowles is Brian's ex-husband and is current senior VP in charge of Fox marketing. A sting back in 1998 caught Harry Knowles and Michael Moore (writer/director/producer "Bowling for Columbine" and "Farenheight 9/11") planning a detailed nationwide car-hijacking scheme to boost Honda Accord door mechanism sales in hopes of raising their stock value to generate a parachute fund for their ultimate plan of blowing up the Fox Broadcasting Headquarters, by ramming a Golf cart filled with knives in to the building on September 11th 2005.
"...The 5 in the date was for how many years Fox took away from my life that I cant ever get back", said Moore. Knowles refused to comment but gave a harsh speech that incuded anti-Christian morale and condeming Alien Ressurection.
Fox had no comment, Harry Knowles was quoted as saying "pbpbpbp." and is currently bartering his website in the hopes of getting to be an extra in the sequel to last year's summer blockbuster "Aliens Vs. Predator" and Michael Moore was last seen investigating the FDA and FTC in the United States. "So I was a little off with the 9/11 thing but hey, i'm overweight.", Moore said in an interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show last week.
Brian is still at large, wanted in 4 states as 'The Executive Stalker' aka Brian Bubkapenis Von Rubbermaid, sole aire to the Rubbermaid franchise and legal guardian of Daniel, a message board lurker and troll who goes by the handle of OB1.
This is lazyfatbum reporting live from your anus.
Brian hasn't been seen or heard in 12 years, but in "Girls Gone Wild Vol.33: Tex-Mex-Sex" (1994), he can be clearly seen behind the latino 'lip-ink' lesbians next to the midget slingshot in the dine-in/carry-out fajita restaurant scene. That restaurant was under investigation since 1987 for using cockroach eggs as a salsa and sending it nationwide via online ordering which lead to the 'Great Roach Egg Poisoning of 97' in which dozens of celebrities were crossed out, or even sickened. George Farking of the FBI has headed the investigation since its inception and was the one responsible for uncovering Brian in the tape.
Chris Farking gave this statement to the press regarding Brian's appearance in the tape in August of 1995;
"I dont know where he is now and I think he's the one who made the cockroach egg salsa. I reccomend that the entire nation put their blame on Brian for anything that is causing them stress in their lives. This is big time, ladies. Big time."
"You have to learn how to control your nation's expectations.", added Chris, who was then gunned down by Iraqi children during a transvestite parade through central Afganistan.
Harry Knowles, from aintitcool news, advertized the video on his site on June 2001, giving it 3 stars and a handjob. But it was later reported by Celebrity Justice in 2003 that Harry Knowles is Brian's ex-husband and is current senior VP in charge of Fox marketing. A sting back in 1998 caught Harry Knowles and Michael Moore (writer/director/producer "Bowling for Columbine" and "Farenheight 9/11") planning a detailed nationwide car-hijacking scheme to boost Honda Accord door mechanism sales in hopes of raising their stock value to generate a parachute fund for their ultimate plan of blowing up the Fox Broadcasting Headquarters, by ramming a Golf cart filled with knives in to the building on September 11th 2005.
"...The 5 in the date was for how many years Fox took away from my life that I cant ever get back", said Moore. Knowles refused to comment but gave a harsh speech that incuded anti-Christian morale and condeming Alien Ressurection.
Fox had no comment, Harry Knowles was quoted as saying "pbpbpbp." and is currently bartering his website in the hopes of getting to be an extra in the sequel to last year's summer blockbuster "Aliens Vs. Predator" and Michael Moore was last seen investigating the FDA and FTC in the United States. "So I was a little off with the 9/11 thing but hey, i'm overweight.", Moore said in an interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show last week.
Brian is still at large, wanted in 4 states as 'The Executive Stalker' aka Brian Bubkapenis Von Rubbermaid, sole aire to the Rubbermaid franchise and legal guardian of Daniel, a message board lurker and troll who goes by the handle of OB1.
This is lazyfatbum reporting live from your anus.