20th December 2004, 5:58 AM
We now go to the case of "Angry Discriminated Video Game Races v. Geno".
Lawyer: Geno, on the afternoon of December 18th, 2004, do you recall making a statement along the lines of "Shouldn't Makar, a leaf person, be the Sage of Earth, and Medli, a bird person, be the Sage of Wind, and not the other way around?"
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: But do you uphold these beliefs?
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: Are you wearing ladies' underwear?
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: No further questions.
Judge: (Bangs gavel.) I love doing that. Now then, I'd like the clients' lawyer to take the floor.
Lawyer #2: I call to the stand... Link.
(Various Links from various Zelda games sit in the audience, looking at each other confusedly.)
Lawyer #2: From Outset Island.
Cel-Shaded Link: (Takes the stand.)
Lawyer #2: Now, Link, do you recall this man ever using such degarding terms on the Korok and Rito peoples as "Leaf People" and "Earth People"?
Link: ... (Is a mute.)
Lawyer #2: Do you recall him ever claiming that Makar, the Sage of Wind, should instead be the Sage of Earth, and that Medli, the Sage of Earth, should instead be the Sage of Wind?
Link: ...
Lawyer #2: And do you recall him grouping them based on the fact that they can fly, and then separating them into "categories" based on Makar's ability to plant seeds and Medli's inability to do the same?
Link: ...
Lawyer #2: No further questions. You see, your honor, Link does not recall any of these circumstances for which my client is being tried either. Also, I'm Johnny Cochran.
Judge: The court finds Geno guilty of being a spirit from a higher plane using a small child's doll as a vessel to travel the Earth as a human, take him away.
Geno: Hey! I find that racist! Raciiiiiist! (Is taken away by security guards.)
Coming up... some guy sues his girlfriend because he gave her his television set while he was drunk and he wants it back. And the elephant sues the zookeeper for sexual harassment.
Lawyer: Geno, on the afternoon of December 18th, 2004, do you recall making a statement along the lines of "Shouldn't Makar, a leaf person, be the Sage of Earth, and Medli, a bird person, be the Sage of Wind, and not the other way around?"
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: But do you uphold these beliefs?
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: Are you wearing ladies' underwear?
Geno: I do not recall.
Lawyer: No further questions.
Judge: (Bangs gavel.) I love doing that. Now then, I'd like the clients' lawyer to take the floor.
Lawyer #2: I call to the stand... Link.
(Various Links from various Zelda games sit in the audience, looking at each other confusedly.)
Lawyer #2: From Outset Island.
Cel-Shaded Link: (Takes the stand.)
Lawyer #2: Now, Link, do you recall this man ever using such degarding terms on the Korok and Rito peoples as "Leaf People" and "Earth People"?
Link: ... (Is a mute.)
Lawyer #2: Do you recall him ever claiming that Makar, the Sage of Wind, should instead be the Sage of Earth, and that Medli, the Sage of Earth, should instead be the Sage of Wind?
Link: ...
Lawyer #2: And do you recall him grouping them based on the fact that they can fly, and then separating them into "categories" based on Makar's ability to plant seeds and Medli's inability to do the same?
Link: ...
Lawyer #2: No further questions. You see, your honor, Link does not recall any of these circumstances for which my client is being tried either. Also, I'm Johnny Cochran.
Judge: The court finds Geno guilty of being a spirit from a higher plane using a small child's doll as a vessel to travel the Earth as a human, take him away.
Geno: Hey! I find that racist! Raciiiiiist! (Is taken away by security guards.)
Coming up... some guy sues his girlfriend because he gave her his television set while he was drunk and he wants it back. And the elephant sues the zookeeper for sexual harassment.