The Official Television/Movie Quotes Thread

[lazyfatbum]

"Oh boy it's a beautiful day hey look at the ice! man I love life and this ice feels so cold I think it trip fall crack JESUS SHIT!" ~ My Dog discovering ice in the pool in the dead of winter


"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled penises.....peppers. Shit"

"You cant fuck a baby without velcro!"

"I could sure go for a bunch of midgets and a horse cock"

~Random quotes from friends

Friend 1: well, all's well that ends well... Unless you're dead.

Me: Hey, it didn't end well at all.

Friend 2: Then you're dead.

Me: Oh dude heaven sucks so much ass.

~Me and some friends studying for a test

"No you know what? Let me tell you. You know what? It's the way people are. It's not because they want to drink, it's because god your wife is hot. Minka... you're so hot. I mean... you're..... hot" ~Weltall, drunk in my apartment

Friend 1: Let's vagina cock fuck!

Me: Monkey shit pickle sperm!

Friend 2: Huh!? Dolphin Fuck!

Friend1 and me: OH BOY DOLPHIN FUCK!

Me: I'll get the mayonaise!

~Me and some friends working on a film

Guy: Where's your hands...?

Guy 2: ...Between two pillows....

Guy: ...

Guy 2: ...

Guy: THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!

~Guess