Racial Realism

[Darunia]

I found this to be a thinly-veiled racist rant against Goron-Americans by a biggot, whose apish opinions of the graceful, semi-deistic Goron übermenschen reflect the fevered rantings of a delirious madman. How dare you confine us to your stereotypical interpretations of our manifest and corporeal glories. We Gorons excel at athletics by virtue of the three godesses who, before departing to the heavens, their labors done, declared that all Gorons should be really sexy and good at everything. But nowhere in your diatribe do you take pause to reflect upon the splendors of the great Goron poet Rockus B. Gorona, our Nobel laureate author Roximus Q. Sediment, or the voluptuous curves of our Miss Hyrule pagent queen Sexica de la Crystal! In conclusion, due to the manifold slights and indignations unjustly done onto us by you specifically, we demand that reparations to the sum of R 500,000,000 be paid out, such total to be be sub-divided and evenly dispersed between every living Goron man, woman and child, except for a small sum to firstly be spent on appropriating a jacuzzi for HRM Darunius Maximus. First such payments to be paid in installments beginning at the start of every month, henceforth, in perpetuity, or until such time as the Goron people get over it.

Yours in duress,

HRM Darvnivs Maximus, rex Græcorum, Romanorum, etc., etc.