Time to make a Switch pun

[A Black Falcon]

So the phone app that allows online chat, party play in games, etc. is out, and by all accounts it is an atrocious disaster, just as expected but maybe even worse. Of course I personally hate the idea of forcing people to use cellphones to play online, not least since I don't ever want to own one, but even beyond that this is awful because no game console should require you use a completely external device just to do basic, should-be-included features like voice chat and normal party play. This Nintendo-DeNa partnership is leading to bad, bad things.

That is a ludicrous idea, and this app is even worse because it needs to be running and fullscreen to work; you cannot minimize the app or it'll shut off; you cannot let the phone turn the screen off and go into low-power mode or it'll shut off; it shuts down immediately the moment anything else pops up; etc. And chat audio comes only from the phone while game audio comes only from the Switch, so either you need to listen to them separately or use a ridiculous cable merger/adapter thing. And worst of all of course you need an Apple or Android phone to have full online functionality on your console. How can Nintendo, of all people, actually release something in a state this broken and terrible?

But you'd better use the app, because some games pretty much require it -- apparently Splatoon 2 requires it to save or view any stats or screenshots of your online results, unlock some gear, and more. It's unacceptable to lock that stuff to an external app.