The koopalings... aren't Bowser's kids?

[Great Rumbler]

The Koopalings were really the result of a drug-induced nightmare. They were imagined, drawn from whole cloth and then given flesh by the buzz of narcotics. Which also explains killer plants coming out of pipes and breathing fire. And giant, talking lizards that also breath fire. Put down the 'shrooms, Mario, and get some help!

But Bowser is real. VERY REAL. The end.