Cool Car of the Week (Merged)

[Nick Burns]

Dear:
[_] Clueless Newbie
[X] Lamer
[X] Flamer
[X] Pervert
[X] Geek
[X] Spammer
[_] Racist
[X] Jackass
[X] Troller
[_] Fundamentalist
[_] Satanist
[X] "Expert"
[X] Wannabe
[X] Dumbass
[X] Waste of Skin/Gray matter/Blood
[_] Other:

You Are Receiving This Response Because:
[_] You imported another debate into this post
[X] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
[_] You posted a 'Top 10' post.
[_] You posted a 'Religion' post
[X] You started a long, stupid thread
[X] You continued spreading a long, stupid thread
[_] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[X] Your lack of understanding of the fundamentals is disgusting
[_] You posted a 'Lord of the Rings' post
[_] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[_] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[_] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[_] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[_] You said "X rules, Y sucks" and gave no support for your lame statement
[X] You make no sense
[X] You made a post yet failed to say anything
[X] Your sig/alias/avatar is dreadful
[_] Your post contained nothing but psycho-babble.
[_] You are claiming that you know more than Newton, Ohm, Pavlov, etc.
[_] Your awful markup made the post unreadable
[_] You made a baseless assertion
[X] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS (OR IN ALL CAPS) for NO APPARENT REASON
[_] YoU tYpEd SoMeThInG lAmE lIkE tHiS
[_] You say your 'L33t liek Jeffk.', Or your spelling is so bad that
no one can read it.
[X] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed anyway
[_] Your complete lack of any and all grammar makes your post
physically painful to read

To Repent, You Must:
[X] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing
[X] Read every group you posted to for a week
[_] Give up your AOL account
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[X] Tell your Mommy to up your medication
[X] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor (monitor must be plugged in)
[X] Actually post something relevant
[_] Read and memorize the FAQ
[X] Print your home phone number in your ads
[X] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[_] Blow me
[_] Lick me
[X] Get a clue
[X] Get a life
[X] Go away
[X] Grow up
[X] Never post again
[X] I pity your dog
[X] You need to seek psychiatric help
[X] Morons like you give ammo to pro-censorship morons
[X] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[X] Go back to school and actually learn something
[X] Learn how to post or get off the site
[X] I don't like you
[_]All of the above

Thank you for using auto reply from version 1.2