9th March 2010, 12:55 PM
In the 1500 years of the glorious and grand Empire no enemy has ever been foolish enough to dare attack the Goron capital city. It's never been done, and most say it cannot be done.
(Out of the depths of the Pacific ocean, having traversed the great sea by foot, steps Mecha-Walken. Totally undaunted by the great task it has just completed, it stomps its way up the sandy beaches on the western shores of the Goron Empire, and begins to wreak havoc.)
(Local units of the Goron 72nd Hussars are dispatched to intercept and, if possible, slow the advance of the mechanical evil)
(6,500 mounted Hussars charge bravely at Mech-Walken.)
Mech-Walken.: What's this? You disrespect me? You don't know who yer fucking with. I'm fucking Christopher Walken.
(Uses Fire Breath to scorch the charging cavalry; they are routed with moderate casualties)
(Mech-Walken continues towards Goron City.)
General Gorrison: He advances undaunted.
Darunia (balling fists): Impossible! How is this? Where the fuck did it come from?
General Gaspard de Tuily: We believe this is the same mechanical monstrosity that blasted its way out of the Amazon, where our advanced unit was conducting Operation Arctic Thunder.
Darunia: Who could have sent it? And why? Everyone knows we Gorons are a peace-loving people!
Gorrison: Well, m'lord, we have reason to believe that it may have been Weltall.
(Darunia's visage darkens.)
Darunia (Growling): Weltal... my old nemesis... back to his bellicose old ways. And this time, he means to destroy all of Goron City, no less. Well, if it's war he wants, it is war that he shall have! Execute a full mobilization. Recall all global occupation units.
Gorrison: To do that, m'lord, we will have to withdraw from our occupied zones in Tendo City and Denmark.
Gaspard: What? Withdraw from Tendo City, after we only JUST won victory there through the Great Rumbler Pact of Steel?
Darunia: I know. The thought gives me shudders. But we can always reconquer Tendo City. But Goron City must not fall. All depends upon it. Gentlemen, you have your orders!
(Out of the depths of the Pacific ocean, having traversed the great sea by foot, steps Mecha-Walken. Totally undaunted by the great task it has just completed, it stomps its way up the sandy beaches on the western shores of the Goron Empire, and begins to wreak havoc.)
(Local units of the Goron 72nd Hussars are dispatched to intercept and, if possible, slow the advance of the mechanical evil)
(6,500 mounted Hussars charge bravely at Mech-Walken.)
Mech-Walken.: What's this? You disrespect me? You don't know who yer fucking with. I'm fucking Christopher Walken.
(Uses Fire Breath to scorch the charging cavalry; they are routed with moderate casualties)
(Mech-Walken continues towards Goron City.)
General Gorrison: He advances undaunted.
Darunia (balling fists): Impossible! How is this? Where the fuck did it come from?
General Gaspard de Tuily: We believe this is the same mechanical monstrosity that blasted its way out of the Amazon, where our advanced unit was conducting Operation Arctic Thunder.
Darunia: Who could have sent it? And why? Everyone knows we Gorons are a peace-loving people!
Gorrison: Well, m'lord, we have reason to believe that it may have been Weltall.
(Darunia's visage darkens.)
Darunia (Growling): Weltal... my old nemesis... back to his bellicose old ways. And this time, he means to destroy all of Goron City, no less. Well, if it's war he wants, it is war that he shall have! Execute a full mobilization. Recall all global occupation units.
Gorrison: To do that, m'lord, we will have to withdraw from our occupied zones in Tendo City and Denmark.
Gaspard: What? Withdraw from Tendo City, after we only JUST won victory there through the Great Rumbler Pact of Steel?
Darunia: I know. The thought gives me shudders. But we can always reconquer Tendo City. But Goron City must not fall. All depends upon it. Gentlemen, you have your orders!
H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST