18th December 2008, 12:54 AM
In order to earn the title "better than my favorite game", the game would have to include a, "deal 1 million damage with your penis spell". Complete with fully rendered synomatic, rendered on Pixar renderware which took a minimum of 1 hour for each 5 seconds of video, with a minimum 30 seconds of cut scene.
The then as the boss exploded, Chuck Norass would have to appear on the screen and thank me by name for saving him, and then order strippers to arrive at my house threw my PS3 DNAS connection and then charge it to Bill Gates credit card.
And the strippers would have to be totally hot and naked for me.
And later, Bill Gates would arrive at my door and say, "I see by the charge on my credit card, you beat penis death match 5." And I would say, yep.. "And he would say, well as per my contractual obligation you get to have a friend take a picture of me licking your ass (with full tung), which I will then deploy to all computers running windows, via Microsoft Update.
Then and only then would I consider renting it and stick with the game to the end.
The then as the boss exploded, Chuck Norass would have to appear on the screen and thank me by name for saving him, and then order strippers to arrive at my house threw my PS3 DNAS connection and then charge it to Bill Gates credit card.
And the strippers would have to be totally hot and naked for me.
And later, Bill Gates would arrive at my door and say, "I see by the charge on my credit card, you beat penis death match 5." And I would say, yep.. "And he would say, well as per my contractual obligation you get to have a friend take a picture of me licking your ass (with full tung), which I will then deploy to all computers running windows, via Microsoft Update.
Then and only then would I consider renting it and stick with the game to the end.
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