4th March 2008, 12:45 PM
Katz/ lmao k thx :D I know what you're saying and for the most part I agree. But the woman I was with just... turned evil. I cant explain it, I cant get it all in words. But its like she sat down and planned out how to make us both completely miserable. But she says she's happier now, so atleast there's that. She doesn't think she's evil of course, she'll deny that she planned anything out, and isnt that always the case? :P I find myself having thoughts and feelings for her, missing her... then I remember that she told me flat out that she has no love or caring for me, doesn't miss me, nothing. That's just plain scary dude. :P
But Madness isn't her thank God, and that's what I keep relying on because my initial hope was that she would be a good replacement. I knew that the loneliness would start to drag me down and i'd want to replace the person I was with. Find a person with similar charms, similar interests, manerisms, even looks. I played with the idea for an eon or two as a fantasy but as I thought it out more and more, it was just painful. It would be no different if you lose your dog so you buy a cat thinking you wont miss the dog or vice versa or you see this baby silver mitt ferret that says "Sean" when he yawns............................ *almost bought a ferret that says "sean" when she yawns* oh, I almost slept with a girl just because she *looked* like Minka, even the same heigh and weight, same hair (when it was long) eye color etc and when she got nervous she grunted and cleared her throat and this was at the beach so of course we were all steadily growing more durnk. But my heart started saying things like OMG WTF R U DOING? so it was a big mess. That's when i also learned attractive women get really funny when they're turned down, they even try to get you more durnk and then ask you again later :D But I listened to my heart and I realized that trying to replace what's missing or just trying to have something so you dont feel as lonely, it's only a distraction at best (then I also started asking wtf am i doing at a beach party with party-types? HOO AM I?). Distracting you from what actually needs to be there, or actually dealt with. That's hard. :P Indiana Jones said it best when he tried to replace the priceless artifact with a bag of sand and was then steamrolled by a giant boulder as " :D:D:D:D .......... :(:(:(:(:( "
to everything I am, I believe that everyone at their core is good and that they want to do what's rignt. So there. It's just a matter of when they'll figure that out, that's where it gets bad because the person you practically grew up with is gone so you have to have patience and just believe in them, keep faith in them.
...
*holds up xenogears*
*holds up 12 boxes of shit*
Minka and I weren't doomed. She had darkness and issues just as strong as mine though few people will ever know that. She has to fight them just like I did. She has to face all the heavens and hells. I want to help her, shit I want her to help me but.... that doesn't happen until the second disk.
Which is also when Ninconvert returns only to be killed by Pikachu159 wearing the skin of Jomarkiller. Yeah take that. Take my TC memories like javelines in your eyes, they're thicker than your eye sockets so, they're like.... they're ...it's more painful.
Because it has to make the eye socket wider.
Think about that happening.
Think of the sound it would make.
Like scraping the green meat of an avocado out of its skin.
Alvocado.
Avocado.
Sounds the same.
It sounds the same.
It's the same.
But Madness isn't her thank God, and that's what I keep relying on because my initial hope was that she would be a good replacement. I knew that the loneliness would start to drag me down and i'd want to replace the person I was with. Find a person with similar charms, similar interests, manerisms, even looks. I played with the idea for an eon or two as a fantasy but as I thought it out more and more, it was just painful. It would be no different if you lose your dog so you buy a cat thinking you wont miss the dog or vice versa or you see this baby silver mitt ferret that says "Sean" when he yawns............................ *almost bought a ferret that says "sean" when she yawns* oh, I almost slept with a girl just because she *looked* like Minka, even the same heigh and weight, same hair (when it was long) eye color etc and when she got nervous she grunted and cleared her throat and this was at the beach so of course we were all steadily growing more durnk. But my heart started saying things like OMG WTF R U DOING? so it was a big mess. That's when i also learned attractive women get really funny when they're turned down, they even try to get you more durnk and then ask you again later :D But I listened to my heart and I realized that trying to replace what's missing or just trying to have something so you dont feel as lonely, it's only a distraction at best (then I also started asking wtf am i doing at a beach party with party-types? HOO AM I?). Distracting you from what actually needs to be there, or actually dealt with. That's hard. :P Indiana Jones said it best when he tried to replace the priceless artifact with a bag of sand and was then steamrolled by a giant boulder as " :D:D:D:D .......... :(:(:(:(:( "
to everything I am, I believe that everyone at their core is good and that they want to do what's rignt. So there. It's just a matter of when they'll figure that out, that's where it gets bad because the person you practically grew up with is gone so you have to have patience and just believe in them, keep faith in them.
...
*holds up xenogears*
*holds up 12 boxes of shit*
Minka and I weren't doomed. She had darkness and issues just as strong as mine though few people will ever know that. She has to fight them just like I did. She has to face all the heavens and hells. I want to help her, shit I want her to help me but.... that doesn't happen until the second disk.
Which is also when Ninconvert returns only to be killed by Pikachu159 wearing the skin of Jomarkiller. Yeah take that. Take my TC memories like javelines in your eyes, they're thicker than your eye sockets so, they're like.... they're ...it's more painful.
Because it has to make the eye socket wider.
Think about that happening.
Think of the sound it would make.
Like scraping the green meat of an avocado out of its skin.
Alvocado.
Avocado.
Sounds the same.
It sounds the same.
It's the same.