Akira Yamaoka dead at 48

[lazyfatbum]

Very few people can understand it. You have to think in terms of romanesque brotherhood. We fought in the frontlines together, we saved each other's lives. If either of us became ill, the other was there to nurse them back to health. If either of us had a major defeat or a major vistory, we were there for eachother. When Minka left me, I had no where to hide, I had no where to run for protection. I came to ryan begging for help and suddenly, he was putting me down, treating me like krap. There was no love from him, no affection and then with everything going on in my life he told me he no longer wants to be my friend and then ignored me. My life became worse ten fold, my drinking became worse. My entire world abondoned me.

After 6 months he sent me a message saying that he's sorry for what he did. But its like he wont accept the responsibility of it, he even blames me for it. I explained to him how I feel about it, and he sent me a message before blocking me with the last line "Minka will never take you back." I dont understand why he lunges at me or why he wants to attack me. I'm very lost and life is nothing but ass right now. I dont know what's going to happen after I go to holland. I may come back to america, I may stay in europe, I might travel to africa and live with a tribe for a while, I dont know. I just wish he would talk without threatening to run off or block me so we can get it all settled before I go.