28th November 2007, 12:22 PM
ryan you're as stubborn as I am, I hate you for that. I hate it that I have to say I was part of the problem when I was in the bloodbathing of the heartbreaking of end times. I hate it that you dropped me when God knows I was impossible to be around and I hate it that you're right and that I can easily see why you did and said the things you did but dammit I just wanted you there so I could scream and cry and be nuts and have you tell me i'm going to be okay but instead you told me to fuck off and then ignored me for 6 months.
I dont know how to look past that!!! i'm sorry, I just dont. But I will learn. Your friendship means more to me than being stuck on something that that we already both regret and both already accept blame for. I'm mad because you should have known better, you should have known me better (see why I hate empathy? it never works in your favor) but I know that at the time, that was an impossibility. I dont categorize you in betrayal, god you're so dramatic, I just want a fucking man-hug! You weren't there for me before... and that is both our faults and I do understand. But be here for me now, stop yelling encouragement from the shore and pull me out of the fucking water Weltall.
(Akira Yamaoka is not dead)
I dont know how to look past that!!! i'm sorry, I just dont. But I will learn. Your friendship means more to me than being stuck on something that that we already both regret and both already accept blame for. I'm mad because you should have known better, you should have known me better (see why I hate empathy? it never works in your favor) but I know that at the time, that was an impossibility. I dont categorize you in betrayal, god you're so dramatic, I just want a fucking man-hug! You weren't there for me before... and that is both our faults and I do understand. But be here for me now, stop yelling encouragement from the shore and pull me out of the fucking water Weltall.
(Akira Yamaoka is not dead)