Cheating in a Relationship

[Dark Jaguar]

lazy's right. The key to seeming like an important person is to get easily offended by offhand comments. Don't just get offended, make it seem like anyone who doesn't think it's a big deal is less mature than you are for not "handling" the invented situation. Real people seem to like doing that. Also, if you can't win them over by actually being interesting, talk about how terrible everyone else is. Preferably start every conversation by listing off how reality has recently wronged you. By "keeping it real" like that (reality is always depressing, remember that rule), you show them that you are a big person with grown up pants. Follow it up by asking how they are doing and no matter WHAT they say, say "yeah I wish I had it like that" or "yeah I know how that is". Human interaction is a competition on who is more miserable.

These simple rules will have you swimming in friends, or not really friends but people who would give you stuff if you had a fire. Oh, try to have a fire at least once every two years. Otherwise your "real cred" just plummets.

Yes, I am sometimes surrounded by miserable and depressing people. I don't get what the deal is. Life's easy. I try NOT to make friends with people who get drunk and hold friends at gunpoint at midnight over some lost olive oil. It's fairly easy to see why I would be so discerning.

Um, in all seriousness, everyone needs friends, but try to find the easy going types who are up for "whatever" and seem to actually have their life in one piece. Good tactic? Mention a horrible incident and gauge their response. If they react as though it's horrible and they are thankful stuff like that doesn't happen to them, you've got a keeper. If they react like they actually had the same thing happen to them last week, just before they got raped by a clown, I'd shy away from that one.