Jack Thompson really is still alive...

[Sacred Jellybean]

Dear Gamers and Gamer Publications on the Internet and Elsewhere:

"Dear"? Be honest, Jacky-boy - you despise us pigs, us participants and purveyors of depravity and sin.

I have been praying, literally, that Take-Two and its lawyers would do something so stupid, so arrogant, so dumb, even dumber than what they have to date done, that such a misstep would enable me to destroy Take-Two.

My, oh my, are you in for a surprise, Jack. The fact that you're so excited for this turn-of-events will make your downfall all the more satisfying.

With the filing of this SLAPP lawsuit last week, my prayers are finally answered.

I don't know if anyone else here as seen Con Air, a terrible action movie, but a scene from it popped in my head: Nicholas Cage, playing a good ol' vigilante country boy with a mullet, says to a dying diabetes patient, "I'mo show you that Gawd DOES exist..." which follows into cheesy electric guitar riffs as he proceeds to do something cool and actiony. Thank Gawd that you'll deliver us from our suffering of this social epidemic, Thompson!

This lawsuit, filed in US District Court for the Southern District of Florida, is, without a doubt, the single dumbest thing I have ever seen any lawyers do in my thirty years of practicing law

-- while in continuous good standing to do so with The Florida Bar, I might add,

Then why is the Florida Bar Association currently seeking sanctions for your inappropriate conduct?

the shock radio and video game industry's efforts notwithstanding.

It's not their fault you set yourself up for ridicule so regularly, Jacky ol' boy.

I encourage folks to read Psalm 35, a Psalm of David,

The Bible isn't relevant to EVERYONE, you know.

which is brilliant in its entirety (since God Himself wrote it),

GOD HIMSELF WROTE IT?! Golly, how could have I been so apprehensive?!

7 For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit,
which without cause they have digged for my soul.

8 Let destruction come upon him at unawares;
and let his net that he hath hid catch himself:
into that very destruction let him fall.

This is so ironic, nothing I can possibly say can add to its humor.

9 And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD:
it shall rejoice in his salvation.

Anyone with the leverage to influence laws makes me uncomfortable when they claim that they're carrying out God's will, especially if those religious beliefs don't run with mine (or my own lack thereof). Some of the most dangerously influential people in this world will justify their actions this way. He has a right to think and state this, but it speaks lengths about his personality.

The pit Take-Two has dug for itself will be patently clear next week when I strike back.

If anyone is preparing themselves for burial, it sure isn't them!

Oh, and by the way, the entire Take-Two management and board will be gone on March 23, so this pit-digging comes at a very bad time indeed.

Dum dum DUMMMM!!! Well, you certainly have the upper-hand then, Jack! Surely your history of professional misconduct will be canceled out by this.

Amen, and Praise be to God Almighty, maker of Heaven, Earth, and yes, the maker even video games.

Not everything he made was good, though... (if ya dig those sorta beliefs) He also made

-Jack Thompson